Always Hurt The Ones We Love
by Maria1229
Summary: Ashley's priorities are skewed. Will Spencer suffer because of it? SpencerxAshley. ANGST.
1. Chapter 1

_South of Nowhere_ is a property of The-N and Viacom. I'm not a crack monkey therefore I do not work for the writers of _South of Nowhere_. I just borrow their characters for my own pleasure.

**Author's Note:** Hey guys, here's another fic for you. This one is also **COMPLETED**. And it has a lot more angst in it. I hope you all enjoy. :D

* * *

_Chapter One_

Ashley fidgeted nervously in her seat. The chair she was currently sitting on was quite uncomfortable and she hoped that she didn't look like someone trying to scratch her butt in a discreet way. She unconsciously kept on sliding her ring off and on her finger as she watched the man behind the desk expectantly. He had been reading her composition book for the past fifteen minutes without making a sound. Ashley had no idea if he liked what he was reading or if he was simply finding a way to let her down nicely. Not that the other record labels let her down nicely. They took one look at her book and turned her away without even considering. She guessed she didn't have the "songwriter" look. Not that she knew what that meant either.

"Hmm," the man said.

Ashley sat up straighter. "So, what do you think?"

Mr. Elwood peered over the book to look at Ashley. His face was unreadable. "Well, we listened to your demo CD, and it was good," he told her.

"Good?"

He put Ashley's book on his desk and folded his hands on top of them. "It was great actually. You have a fresh sound and the lyrics are relatable to everyone. Exactly what this label needs."

Ashley perked up and smiled. These were good signs but she tried not to get her hopes up. "Thank you."

"And these other songs," Mr. Elwood indicated the book. "They're very original and a good variety."

"Thank you," Ashley said again. She still didn't know if she had the job or not. She could sense there was "but" in there somewhere.

"But," he continued. And there it was. "You don't have that much experience in the music industry and we're not sure you can handle all the pressure this business comes with."

Ashley took a deep breath. "With all due respect, Mr. Elwood, I may not have experience but that's the reason I want this job. To get experience and you said my songs are exactly what your label needs. So if you give me a chance, I'll make sure that you'll get several hits from my work," she gave him a smug smile.

Mr. Elwood looked at her. His record label did need a fresh new sound. All his artists seemed to lack in the music-writing department and he always had to hire new songwriters. He couldn't understand how he managed to sign singers with just the good voices and not good songwriters. He looked at the composition book again and that back to Ashley.

"Alright, you got the job."

"I do?" Ashley asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, but we have conditions that can all be explained in your contract, so read the fine print." He handed her a bunch of forms. "Basically, you have all copyright claims to your songs and we're allowed to give them to whoever we want in this label. All song writing credit will go to you of course."

"Of course," Ashley took the forms and skimmed them.

"We want you to work close with the artists so you'll be in the studio a lot. And I just want to say that they're a bit demanding but don't take it personally," he smiled and held out his hand. "Welcome aboard, Miss Davies."

Ashley took his hand and shook it. She couldn't believe she actually got the job. After dreaming about if for so long, it was finally happening. "Thank you."

"We'll see you Monday. I'm going to give your demo to our newly signed artist, Brianna Tenly. I think she'll love your style." He gave her back the composition book.

"Thank you, thank you," Ashley repeated taking the book. She left the office and went to the lobby of the building. She smiled when she saw her girlfriend waiting nervously in a chair, reading a magazine. "Hey," she greeted.

Spencer looked up and dropped the magazine. The smile on Ashley's face let her hopes soar. "So, is the eleventh time the charm?"

Ashley held up the contract forms. "Yes, I got the job!"

Spencer squeed and threw her arms around Ashley pulling her into a very tight hug. "Oh my God! Congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you," she hugged Spencer tighter. "I couldn't have done this without you, you know?" she told her once they pulled apart.

"Me? What did I do?"

Ashley scoffed. "Seriously, Spence, you've been there this entire time. Encouraging me to pursue this and went along with me to every interview. You never let me give up even after all those doors were slammed in my face." She leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips. "You're the best friend and girlfriend I could ever have."

Spencer smiled. She was extremely happy and proud of Ashley. Even though Ashley had inherited an obscene amount of money from her father, she always felt like she was wasting her life away. Ashley didn't want to live off her father's money forever so Spencer suggested that she could get a job. Ashley's half-sister, Kyla, had felt the same way and she had gotten a job at local theater company. She wanted to pursue her dreams of being a stage actor. Spencer encouraged Ashley to do the same and follow her dreams.

Ashley never wanted to be in the spotlight or go on tours. Being a professional musician wasn't what she wanted to do. Songwriting was her thing and she was damn good at it. So Spencer convinced her to submit demos to local record labels to see if she could get a job. It was a shaky start with every one of them turning Ashley down immediately. Spencer was there for her with every rejection. She never let Ashley quit even though it seemed like her dreams were ending and they were ending fast. But Spencer Carlin never gives up hope. Especially on the ones she loves the most.

"So what did they say exactly?" Spencer asked her as they were leaving the building hand in hand.

"Well, he said that my songs were fresh and exactly what the label needed. Oh, and they're already giving my demo to their newly signed artist."

"That's awesome, anyone we know?"

"Um, Brianna something," Ashley tried to recall the name. "Tenly, Brianna Tenly."

The name sounded familiar to Spencer. "Oh yeah, I've heard of her. I think she did a gig down at the Blue Note one time."

"Is she any good?" Ashley asked as they got into her car.

"She did covers when I heard her, and they were really good."

"What kind of music does she do? Because I'm suppose to adapt to their genre or whatever," Ashley said reading over the contract.

Spencer smiled at Ashley's furrowed eyebrows as she read the contract. "Make sure your lawyer reads that too, and Brianna has a poppy sound. Very catchy."

"Poppy and catchy?" Ashley quirked her brow in thought. "I could do that."

Spencer leaned over the gearshift and kissed Ashley on the cheek. "I know. You can do anything. You're Ashley Davies."

"Damn right I am," she shifted the car into reverse and backed out of the parking space. "So, want to grab something to eat? And then head back to my place and have celebratory sex? Kyla's at the theater all day," she said suggestively while running her hand over Spencer's thigh.

Spencer grabbed her hand and held it. "As tempting as that sounds, I have class in a half hour remember?"

Ashley pouted. "Oh yeah, but you still have time to eat right?" She turned her face and gave Spencer a big smile.

"Yes, I have time to eat," Spencer said smiling back at her.

"Good." Ashley grinned and pressed down on the accelerator.

"I meant food, Ash!"

"What?" she said innocently. "That's what I meant, too. You need to get your mind out of the gutter, Spence." She gave her a cheeky smile.

"Right, _I_ need to get my mind out of the gutter. You're too much sometimes, Davies," she said bringing Ashley's hand up to kiss it.

"And you love me, Carlin."

"That I do, and I'm very happy and very proud of you."

"You already said that," Ashley said smiling and pulled up to a local diner.

"I just don't want you to forget it."

Ashley got out of the car and went to open Spencer's door for her. She pulled her out and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her close. "Like I'd ever forget anything you say to me. In fact," Ashley pulled her even closer and Spencer snaked her arms around her neck. "I remember you saying that once I get a job you'd let me have my way with you," she smiled and gave her a kiss.

"Don't I always let you have your way with me?" Spencer asked matter of factly. She saw Ashley's eyes had gotten darker and her breathing got a little heavier. "Ash," she warned. "We're in a public place."

"You wanna skip the food and head back to the loft? We still have," she glanced at her watch. "25 minutes until your class starts."

"It takes us 10 to get home and another 5 for you to drive me to campus. So that leaves us 10 minutes."

"So?" Ashley didn't see the problem. Ten minutes was an adequate amount of time.

"Ashley!" Spencer said hitting her on the arm.

"Fine, fine," she grabbed Spencer's hand and made their way into the diner. "Let's go eat _food_."

Spencer shook her head at Ashley's childish behavior and smiled. "You're definitely too much for me."

---


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

Ashley entered her loft and haphazardly dumped herself on the couch. She was reading the contract the label had given her and frowned at how long it was. Ashley always thought that "fine print" was just an expression but there were so many terms and conditions that she was starting to have second thoughts.

"Hey, Ash."

Ashley jumped and fell off the couch. She looked up and glared at her sister. "Jesus, Kyla, I thought you were going to be at the theater all day." Ashley got up and picked up the contract that had fallen as well.

Kyla grinned. "I'm heading back. I just needed a extra change of clothes because we're painting the sets today." She walked over to the back of the couch and tried to read what Ashley was holding. "What's that?" she asked knowing that Ashley had already tuned her out. Her sister was so ADD sometimes.

"A contract," she said distractedly.

"You got the job?" Kyla widened her eyes expecting Ashley to tell her more. Ashley just sat there still reading. "Ash!" She grabbed the papers from her, which rewarded her a death glare. "You got the job?" she repeated now that she finally got her sister's attention.

"Yeah," Ashley said annoyed and reached for the contract. Kyla pulled it out her reach and started reading it herself. "Kyla! I need to read that."

Kyla started walking into the kitchen and started going over it. "Oh, it says that you have to work with other writers. You're going to be okay with that?" She opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"Why wouldn't I be okay with that?" Ashley went over to Kyla and took the papers back.

"Didn't you put on your resume 'does not play well with others'?"

"I do play well with others!" Ashley stated defensively but realized that sounded wrong. "I mean, I can work with other people, Kyla. I'm not a complete bitch."

Kyla snorted and took a sip from her water. "Yeah, only half a bitch. The non-bitch half is only reserved for Spencer."

Ashley smiled at the mention her girlfriend. She took her phone out of her pocket and started texting her even though she knew she was in class.

"Didn't you just see her 2 seconds ago?" Kyla asked rolling her eyes. Ashley was already gone. When it came to Spencer, she had tunnel vision. "Whatever, Glen's probably waiting, I'll see you later." Kyla grabbed her bag and made her way to the door.

"Wait, what? Glen's waiting?" Ashley looked at her sister confused.

Kyla smirked. She knew this would get Ashley's attention. "Glen is helping out at the theater," she said nonchalantly. She tried not to laugh at Ashley confused face. "I thought I told you."

"No, you definitely did not tell me that. So when were you going to tell me that you're dating my girlfriend's brother?" Not that Ashley minded. She'd rather have her sister go out with Glen than some loser in her theater company. Those guys were such divas. She also liked the fact that even though Glen could be fickle, he shared Spencer's DNA so he had to be innately amazing.

"I'm not dating him, Ashley," Kyla said exasperated. "He's just helping me out at the theater. You know like a friend?"

"Yeah right and that's why you didn't tell me?"

"I did tell you. It's not my fault you were sucking face with Spencer at the time and weren't paying attention," Kyla smiled and opened the door.

"That's a legitimate excuse!" Ashley said but got distracted when her phone vibrated signaling a message from Spencer.

"Whatever, look, don't forget to have our lawyer look at the contract." Kyla told her even though she knew Ashley wasn't listening. She shook her head and left.

Ashley smiled and texted Spencer back without even knowing her sister left.

---

Spencer had to stifle a gasp when she read Ashley's text message. She always had the habit of sending her very lewd thing while she was in class. Spencer always tried to discreetly text her back but it was hard since she always arrived to class a little late and had to sit in the front.

_Stop texting me. Im trying to learn._

_But I miss u :-(_

Spencer rolled her eyes. Her professor was droning on reading directly from the course book that he didn't even notice half his class wasn't even conscious.

_You just saw me idiot. You can pick me up if you want. Saves me the trouble from calling Glen._

_Ok! Hes too busy doing Kyla anyways._

At this, Spencer let out an audible gasp which earned looks from her fellow students. She sank back in her chair and texted vigorously.

_What? Tell me youre joking._

_Would I lie 2 u? ;-) See u see soon baby. Love u. :-P_

_Love you too._ Spencer flipped her cell phone closed and put it back in her bag. She vaguely remembered Glen saying something about helping Kyla out at the theater but she definitely would've remembered if he said he was dating her. Spencer shook her head in amusement now just realizing that she heard this news from Ashley. She wasn't the most reliable of sources when it came to gossip about Kyla's love life.

She sat back and glanced at her watch. Only an hour and half left before she can see Ashley again. Spencer was still on a happy buzz about Ashley's newfound job but she was also a little worried. Ashley had never worked a day in her life and she wondered if she could actually cut it. She knew Ashley wasn't used to demands or answering to someone and had little respect for authority figures. In fact, the only person Ashley ever listened to was Spencer. Everyone always said that she had Ashley wrapped around her little finger but she never saw it that way. Spencer liked to say that Ashley cared about her a lot and only wanted her to be happy. But deep down Spencer knew she had her whipped.

Spencer must have dozed off because the next thing she knew was her friend was shaking her awake.

"Spencer."

She blinked opened her eyes and looked around to find students exiting the room. "Lonnie," she rubbed her eyes. "God, was I snoring?" She got up and collected her things.

Lonnie laughed as she walked with Spencer. "No, but Professor Grayson did go over everything we needed to know for the exam."

Spencer narrowed her eyes at her friend. "You're lying."

"Yeah, I am," she laughed. "I'll see you later." She turned down another path and waved Spencer goodbye.

"Later." Spencer waited in the parking and looked around for a familiar Porsche. She waited for fifteen minutes before Ashley finally came cruising in with the top down. Spencer smirked at her smug stance behind the wheel.

"What's a beautiful girl like you doing here by herself?"

Spencer shook her head and got in the car. "Well, my girlfriend sucks at punctuality."

Ashley leaned over and gave Spencer a quick peck on the lips. "You know me. I like to make an entrance." She stepped on the accelerator and drove off. "I actually was at my lawyer's going over the contract. That's why I'm late."

"Everything good?" Spencer asked while putting her hair in a ponytail. She never understood why Ashley drove with the top down and later complained about her hair getting ruined.

"Sign, sealed, delivered." She handed Spencer the signed contract.

"Are you excited for Monday?"

Ashley took a deep breath and gripped the wheel. She was more nervous that excited. She wasn't quite sure what to expect. She vaguely remembered her dad telling her stories about making his albums and he hardly ever mentioned the songwriters he worked with. Ashley figured that he and his band were probably one of the more demanding artists that the Mr. Elwood was warning her about.

"It's all so new and I've never done this before. So I'm excited and nervous." She looked over at Spencer and gave her a smile.

"You're going to great, Ash. Your songs are amazing."

"Thanks, baby." Ashley reached over and intertwined there fingers over the gearshift. "So, do you have to head home or can I take you back to the loft and have my way with you?"

"Dad wants you to stop by for dinner. He says you're not around enough." Ashley smirked. As much as she loved spending time with Spencer, Ashley hardly ever went over to the Carlins.

Spencer chose to live at home instead of the dorms just to save her parents some money. Paula was close to being laid off at the hospital but with many negotiations, she managed to keep her job but her hours were cut back severely. Arthur's social work wasn't exactly the best paying job and with Glen still unemployed, Spencer thought she make the sacrifice of her sanity by staying home. Ashley loved Spencer's family but she needed her privacy. She devoted a lot of her time in kidnapping Spencer to stay at her place. She even asked her to move in with her but Paula put a stop to that almost immediately. She wasn't ready for her only daughter to live in sin with her girlfriend.

"I am too around enough," Ashley protested. "I'm there all the time picking you up aren't I?"

Spencer laughed. "That's not the same. And why are you complaining? You love my dad's cooking."

"I know, I just want to spend some alone time. Naked. In my bed." Ashley gave her a stupid little grin.

"You're a nympho."

"And you're my maniac."

---

Monday came faster than Ashley expected. She stared with trepidation at the record label building. It looked a lot bigger than it did when she did the interview. Ashley gave herself a little pep talk before entering the glass doors. With some instructions from the receptionist, Ashley went to the elevators and nervously pressed the designated floor button. The lift stopped at various floors letting in a few more people and Ashley's nerves were going haywire. They all looked so professional. She nearly jumped when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She flipped it open and smiled.

_Good luck today. Ill see you later tonight. Love you. :-P_

And Ashley's nerves went away. The doors finally slid open on her floor and Ashley navigated her way to the recording studio. She gasped when she opened the door. It was massive. Bigger than the ones her dad took her too. There were several people in the room behind the soundboard including Mr. Elwood, a young man she recognized as the producer, a guitarist, and a young blonde girl.

"Ah, Ashley, you're right on time," Mr. Elwood said. "Let me introduce you to some people you'll be working with."

Ashley merely smiled as she took a step forward towards the people. They had friendly faces but she was still intimidated. "This is Lucas Jessup, one of our producers," he introduced. Ashley shook his hand. "And this is David Alexander." The guitarist also shook her hand. "And this," the blonde girl stepped forward and Ashley had to gulp. She was quite a sight. Shoulder length blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Nothing like Spencer's though. Ashley didn't think anyone in the world had brighter blue eyes than her Spencer. "This is Brianna Tenly, our newly signed artist."

"Nice to meet you," Ashley said extending her hand.

"You as well. I absolutely loved your demo and I'm looking forward to working with you," Brianna said. Ashley inwardly cringed. Brianna was definitely beautiful but her speaking voice was quite high almost to a point of squeakiness.

"Alright, I'll leave you guys to it," Mr. Elwood said. "Have a great time." He gave his goodbyes and left the studio.

Ashley gulped again. She had this sudden notion that all of them were going to snap at her and tell she wasn't welcome. David could sense her discomfort and smiled at her.

"You know, that chord progression on your demo was amazing. I was thinking we could add a little some to the bridge though. It seems a little empty."

Ashley smiled. "Yeah, sure. We can do that."

"This is great," Lucas said. "Alright we already have a bunch of songs that we picked out that Brianna wants to sing and we're hoping that you'll contribute to at least five of them," he told Ashley.

"Five?" Ashley's eyes widened in surprise. She didn't expect to have five of her songs on a single album. She expected one or at least a co-write.

"Is that a problem?"

"No, no not at all." Ashley took her composition book out of her bag.

Lucas had already situated himself in front of the soundboard and Brianna made her way into the booth. David stayed with her as she flipped through her book.

"So, are they going to start recording right away?" Ashley asked him.

"Yeah, they already picked out a bunch of demos to sing. I was in there earlier with the band laying down the tracks. And once we picked out some of your songs, I'll be playing those as well." He smiled at her.

"So you're my fellow songwriter and musician?"

"That would be me," he said holding up his guitar. "So what other instruments do you play?" He asked trying to make conversation. She definitely was one of the hottest girls he's ever seen.

Ashley sat down on one of the chairs in the room. "Um, guitar, piano, drums, and bass." She answered while David's jaw dropped. "Oh and I can play a few classical instruments as well." She gave him a smug smile. She absolutely loved bragging about her musical talents.

"Whoa, how come you're not in a band or something."

Ashley shrugged. "Because I like writing and not performing."

David nodded his head. "So Lucas wants us to take some of your songs and make it to Brianna's standards so want to do that now or do you want to listen to Brianna first?" Before Ashley could answer, Brianna started singing. Spencer was right. She was poppy and catchy. Ashley also thanked God that her singing voice was nothing like her speaking voice.

"We can do that now. Brianna's sound is easy enough to do."

David smiled. "Great, we can do that in another studio." He got up and picked up his guitar. Ashley followed him into another room. This one had instruments all over the place that it looked like a Guitar Center threw up in it. "So what song do you want to do?" David asked picking up and electric guitar.

Ashley opened her composition book and opened to a song that she decided was the most poppy. She smiled when she realized she picked one that she wrote for Spencer. "This one," she handed the sheets to David.

He read it over and smiled. "This is insanely corny, but definitely Brianna's style."

Ashley blushed. "Yeah, I wrote it for my girlfriend. She's a big fan of pop music. You know Kelly Clarkson and all those other chicks."

A disappointed look fell on David's face. "Girlfriend?"

Ashley smiled. "Yup."

"Damn," he said and let out a laugh. "Well, I was going to invite to you to this party as my date that the label is throwing for Brianna but you're taken and don't even like my gender." He gave her a dorky smile.

"Can I still be invited?" Ashley asked laughing. "Or is it just for you cool people?"

"Well you're one of us now. Bring your girlfriend."

"That I will."

---


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three_

Spencer almost got trampled by what looked like a greenish blur with blonde hair. "Whoa, Glen, where's the fire?" she asked her brother who sailed pass her and out the front door.

"I'm late!" He threw back at her and jumped into his car.

What exactly he was late for, Spencer didn't know. She shrugged and made her way to the kitchen where she found her mother shouldering her bag. "Hey, mom, where's Glen off to in such a hurry?" She opened the fridge in search for something to eat.

"Didn't you hear? He finally got a job and of course he's late on the first day."

Spencer let out a little laugh and grabbed a yogurt. It wasn't the most filling but there was absolutely nothing to eat. "You working the late shift again?" she asked indicating her mother's scrubs.

Paula sighed. "Yes, sorry I couldn't make dinner. Your father should be home soon, though." She gave Spencer a kiss on the forehead before exiting through the back door. "Bye, honey."

"Bye." Spencer deposited the yogurt on the counter. She was starving and her dad wasn't home yet and as pathetic as it sounded, Spencer was missing Ashley. She didn't get her usual daily text messages anymore. Ever since Ashley started her job, (exactly three days ago) Spencer hardly ever saw her. She wanted to take her out after her first day but Ashley was at the studio until late that night that they didn't have time.

It felt weird to Spencer that she couldn't go over to the loft anymore and find Ashley. She did receive phone calls late at night from Ashley telling Spencer all about her day. She talked very fast and very excitedly that Spencer only caught on a few words. She vaguely remembered hearing something about a party this Saturday that Ashley wanted her to go to with her. Spencer guessed that it wasn't exactly the party she was used to. These were the people who worked in the music industry. She suspected those were the parties she would see paparazzi snapping pictures and would appear on TMZ. Spencer was not excited about going but Ashley was set on it. She was so excited when she told her.

Spencer sulked. It wasn't like she was mad at Ashley for living her life, but she was frustrated that she hardly saw her anymore. It also annoyed her that she was becoming like one of those girlfriends who couldn't deal with not seeing their significant other everyday. Spencer sighed and finally grabbed the yogurt. She peeled the cover open and ate it straight from its plastic container without even using a spoon.

She was just licking the yogurt from her lips when her phone rang. Spencer answered it without even looking at the call ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Ashley's tired voice came through.

Spencer smiled. "Hey, how's work going?" She asked as she made her way to her room.

"Exhausting. Lucas is a genius but he's very demanding, and Brianna? She's very picky. David's the only one I can stand right now."

Spencer tried to remember exactly who those people were. She only knew who Brianna was because she's actually seen her perform. The other two were a mystery to Spencer.

"I'm sorry. When do you get to come home?" Spencer hoped she say now because wanted to go out to dinner with her.

Ashley sighed. "Um, I don't know. Lucas doesn't really like what Dave and me have written so far and wants us to rewrite and rearrange a bunch of stuff. So I'm thinking very late."

Spencer groaned in frustration as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "Seriously, Ash, they're over-working you," she said annoyed.

Ashley was taken back at her tone. "No they're not. It's how this business works, Spence. Plus I've only been here for three days. I hardly call that over-working."

Spencer threw herself on her bed. "But I haven't seen you in those three days," she complained.

There was a slight pause before Ashley spoke again. "I miss you, too."

Spencer pouted. "I'm sorry. I know how much this job means to you and I'm sorry I'm being a whiny brat."

"You're not a whiny brat, Spencer. Look, I get to see you this Saturday when we go to the party. Trust me, it's going to be so much fun." Spencer heard someone call Ashley and a rustling of papers. "I have to go. Love you, Spencer."

Before Spencer could respond, the line went dead. "Love you, too." She flipped her phone closed and tossed it somewhere on her bed.

---

Ashley scratched her head in frustration as she looked over one the songs she and David were working on. There were many pencil scratching and so many revisions that it barely looked like a song anymore.

"Okay," David said holding his guitar. He looked just as frustrated as Ashley. "How's this sound?" He started playing a few measures and looked at Ashley expectantly when he finished. Ashley just stared at the sheets looking like she hadn't heard anything. "Um, Ashley?"

Ashley snapped out of whatever trance she was in and looked at David. "Oh sorry, yeah um that was good. But apparently our opinions don't matter on our own songs," she said bitterly and looked through the glass where Brianna and Lucas were conversing. "I thought _we_ were the songwriters?"

David let out a little laugh. "Yeah, but we have to adapt to their style. I mean, it's them that make it a single, you know?"

"Yeah." Ashley rubbed her eyes and let out a frustrated groan.

"Don't worry, we'll get it," David told her reassuringly.

"No, I know we will. It's not that." Ashley started tapping her pencil on her lap.

"Then what is it about?" He asked curiously and put down his guitar.

Ashley looked at David's concerned and curious face. The past three days, David has been a Godsend. He showed Ashley the ropes and made her feel right at home at the label. He's been a very good friend to her.

"I just got off the phone with Spencer and she's not very happy that I'm working late again," Ashley explained.

"Oh, relationship troubles. Not exactly my area of expertise," David said grimacing.

Ashley let out a tired laugh. "We're not having relationship troubles. She's just frustrated we haven't seen each other. We used to see each other everyday." Just thinking of Spencer made Ashley miss her more.

"Well, you get to see her on Saturday. And I'm very excited to meet her. God knows you talk about her enough. And," he picked up a bunch of discarded sheets. "I feel like I already know her because of all your songs." He gave her a teasing smile.

Ashley blushed and grabbed the papers. "Whatever. We should get back to work before Lucas bites our heads off."

"You're the boss."

---

"What am I suppose to wear to this party?" Spencer asked exasperated on the phone. She had just gotten out the shower and was now in her towel looking at her closet.

"Anything you want, Spencer," Ashley said just as exasperated. She was still at the studio and barely had a minute to spare.

"I can't just wear anything. This isn't just any party at some club. There's going to be like famous producers and singers there. You're on a list for God's sake." Spencer threw a shirt into her bedroom.

"Look, wear whatever you feel comfortable in, okay? I have to go now. But I'll pick you up at seven. I can't wait to see you," she told her sweetly.

Spencer smiled. "I can't wait to see you, too."

"I love you, Spencer."

"I love you, too." Spencer hung up the phone and sighed. "Right, what the hell am I going to wear?"

It was official. Spencer and Ashley made it through a whole week without seeing each other. The only time they actually had contact was when Ashley had breaks and called her. Those phone calls only lasted a few minutes and usually ended with an argument. Spencer couldn't wait to see her and actually be with the girl she loved.

She finally decided on an outfit that Ashley left over there. It wasn't exactly what she was used to but Spencer did look incredibly hot. She looked at herself in the mirror and suddenly became self-conscious.

What if none of Ashley's co-workers liked her? What if she was completely out of place amongst those Hollywood socialites? Spencer didn't have time to panic because the doorbell rang.

Spencer's dad answered the door and smiled when he saw Ashley. "Ashley, long time no see." He opened the door and let her in.

"Nice to see you too, Mr. C." She smiled. "Is Spencer ready?"

"Yes, I am." Spencer couldn't contain her smile when she saw her girlfriend in her foyer. Arthur excused himself and went into the living room. "Hi," she said softly when she was right in front of her.

"Hi," Ashley said just as softly. "Come here," she pulled Spencer in for a much needed kiss and let her hands tangle in Spencer's soft hair.

Spencer pulled Ashley closer with every kiss trying to take all of her in. A week without kissing her girlfriend definitely had her craving more.

They pulled apart out of breath and leaned their foreheads together. "I missed you," Ashley whispered against her lips.

"Not as much as I missed you." Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley and pulled her into a tight hug.

Ashley breathed her in and smelled that scent that was Spencer. Spencer always smelled like lavender and laundry detergent and Ashley loved it. It reminded Ashley of home. Spencer was her home.

"You look incredibly sexy by the way," Ashley said once they pulled apart completely. "Is this my outfit?" she asked grabbing some of the material that was covering Spencer's stomach.

"Yes," she shivered when she felt Ashley hand touch her bare skin.

Ashley grinned. "You ready? I can't wait to show you off to everyone." She took Spencer's hand and led them out side. She opened the passenger door and Spencer situated herself. Spencer swallowed. She really hoped she could impress Ashley's new friends.

The club was in the part of L.A. that Spencer only saw on TV and in gossip magazines. Ashley gave her keys to the valet and held her hand out to Spencer. "You ready?"

Spencer just nodded and let Ashley lead her. There was a long line but Ashley ignored it and went straight to the bouncer. "Name?" he asked roughly and Spencer was suddenly nervous again.

"Davies plus one," Ashley said in cool voice. Spencer sometimes forgot that Ashley grew up around these kinds of people.

"Head on in," he lifted the rope that and let them enter.

The club was filled with so many people that Spencer's eyes began to swim. She could feel the bass coming from the stereos and the lights that were swirling around made her lose focus. It was nothing like Grey or Ego.

"Over there," Ashley shouted over the noise.

Where exactly "over there" was, Spencer didn't know but she just let Ashley pull her by the hand. They ended up in what looked like the VIP room. There were only a few select people there.

"Ashley!" Some guy exclaimed.

Spencer stood a little back as she watch her girlfriend embrace him. "David! God, this place is crazy. Here I want you to meet someone," Ashley pulled Spencer forward. "David, this is the love of my life, Spencer." She turned to Spencer. "Spencer, this is my fellow songwriter, David."

Spencer blushed at the introduction and held out her hand. "Nice to meet you, David."

"Likewise, Ashley never stops talking about you. Here, have a seat," he got off the plush couch and let Spencer and Ashley sit.

Spencer kept as close to Ashley as she could. She never was into the club scene and was getting a bit uncomfortable around all these people. To her, they all looked very pretentious but she realized that Ashley was now one of them. Ashley introduced her to a few more people that she was positive that she was going to forget later on. "And this is Brianna Tenly. The reason why we're having this celebration," Ashley finished.

"Hi!" Brianna screeched. Spencer could tell she was already drunk. "So you're the girl I sing about!" she slurred. Spencer just nodded and gave Ashley a look.

"Yeah, one of the songs she picked was one that I wrote for you," Ashley explained. "Do you want a drink?"

She did want a drink just to calm her nerves but she didn't want Ashley to leave her. Thankfully, being in the VIP room meant that waiters came to you. "Yeah sure." Ashley flagged the waiter down and asked for two Jack and Cokes.

The night went on and Spencer became increasingly bored. She never thought she would be bored with Ashley but all they talked about were things that Spencer was clueless about. She guessed that it was music talk. Ashley hadn't even asked her to dance. This wasn't exactly how she planned the night to go. Ashley was off with her new friends while Spencer kind of just sat there talking idly to random people.

Ashley was enjoying herself. She never had a group of people who shared her common interest. They actually knew what she was talking about and joked along with her. Occasionally she would glance at Spencer to see if she was okay, but every time she about to check on her, David would introduce her to someone knew. She felt bad for neglecting her girlfriend especially since they had week long drought. Ashley finally pulled herself away from the person she was talking to and sat down next to Spencer.

"Hey," she said cheerfully. "You having a good time?"

Spencer gave her a smile. "Yeah, I really like your friends. They seem really cool."

Ashley looked at her more closely. "You're bored, I'm sorry we can leave." She started to get up but Spencer pulled her back down.

"No, no it's fine. Um, I'm just going to call a cab so you can stay."

"No way! We can leave, Spence, it's no problem."

Spencer smiled at her. She could tell that Ashley didn't want to go. "It's okay, Ash, you can stay." Before she could protest, Spencer already was heading towards the exit.

"Wait, let me call you a cab." Ashley felt extremely guilty but Spencer insisted she could stay. It was fine since Spencer said it was okay.

"Thanks."

Ashley stayed with Spencer until the cab picked her up and went back into the club.

"Hey, Spencer leave?" David asked once she returned to the room. He seemed a little off.

"Yeah, she was getting tired."

"Oh, well she missing the after party."

"After party?" Ashley said confused. David led her to another room of the club and shut the door.

"Yeah, and we have party favors," David said giggling.

Then Ashley saw it. There was a glass table in the middle a room with lines of white powder. Brianna was already taking her second line.

"Hey, Ash!" Brianna got up and pulled her to the table. "We saved you some."

Ashley just stared at it and gulped.

---


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

Ashley sat on a couch as she watched her friends laugh manically. Brianna had snorted almost have the table and David was now calming down. He just was now drunk.

"Hey, Ash," he slurred to her. She looked at him and tried not to laugh at his drunken stupor. "I just want you to know that we don't this often." He spread his arm around the room.

Ashley nodded her head. "It's not a big deal, Dave." It really wasn't. She knew that this business came with the lifestyle. It wasn't like she's never tried it before. Her pre-Spencer days when she thought the entire world was out to get her. When she thought that no one cared about her and spent most of her nights depressed and lonely. Ashley was the epitome of a poor rich girl.

"Okay, good because I don't want you to feel," he stopped trying to think of a word. He started snapping his fingers.

"Uncomfortable?" Ashley provided.

"Yes! Uncomfortable. We do this usually after a long week just to unwind you know." He let out a loud burp and Ashley cringed.

"Yeah." The party was getting boring now. "I'm going to head on home, I'll see you guys on Monday."

Apparently, no one was paying attention to her because Ashley left without anyone even noticing. It was almost four in the morning when Ashley started to drive home. She felt extremely guilty for letting Spencer go home by herself but was glad that she did. She never wanted to expose Spencer to that kind of stuff. There were hardly any cars on the road and the next thing she knew, Ashley was pulling into Spencer's neighborhood. Ashley didn't even realize she was driving in that direction.

She had perfected the act of sneaking into Spencer's house without detection. She quietly unlocked the front door with the spare key that Spencer had hidden for her and creeped upstairs. Ashley knew exactly which steps on the stairs creaked so she skipped over those and walked towards Spencer's bedroom.

Spencer was curled up in all her blankets and the only part of her Ashley could see was her blonde hair. She smiled as she made her way over to Spencer's bed. She quietly took off her shoes and got under the covers. She gently put her arm around Spencer's waist and held her from behind. Spencer stirred slightly and unconsciously cuddled into Ashley's hold.

Ashley smiled against her neck and kissed her. "Love you, Spencer," she whispered. She didn't even realize how tired she was and fell asleep almost immediately.

---

The sun hit Spencer's face directly and she mentally kicked herself for forgetting to shut her curtains. She attempted to stretch when she realized that someone was holding her. She turned to see the sleeping face of her girlfriend and she automatically smiled. Then Spencer realized she was slightly irked with Ashley and proceeded to get out of bed. She didn't even care that she woke her up in the process.

"Hey," Ashley said stretching.

Spencer didn't say anything but grabbed her robe from her door.

"Spence?" Ashley said confused.

"You should leave, my mom's probably going to come in soon to wake me up for church," she said coldly. Spencer refused to look at Ashley as she went into her closet to pick out some church clothes.

Ashley furrowed her brow in confusion. She didn't know why Spencer was mad at her. She did say it was okay for her to stay at the party. "What's the matter?" she asked walking into Spencer's closet. Spencer was rummaging through some clothes not really looking for anything particular but avoiding Ashley.

When Spencer came home the night before, she was annoyed for several reasons. First was that Ashley practically ignored her the entire night after an entire week without seeing each other. Second was that Ashley didn't seem to care that she was leaving. Third was that the cab smelled really bad. Fourth was that Glen ate all her chocolate that she was saving for moods like these. And now fifth was that Ashley had no idea why she was mad.

She violently ripped a blouse that was hanging on a hanger. "Nothing."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Right, nothing. That's why you're practically seething and you almost ripped that shirt. Spence, come on, what's the matter?"

Spencer wheeled around and walked right pass Ashley. "You should really leave or my mom will kill you." She reached for her door but Ashley came behind her and held it closed.

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong." She was currently staring at the back of Spencer's head.

Spencer turned around with anger in her eyes. "Nothing's wrong, Ashley. I just need to get ready for church."

Ashley narrowed her eyes at her. "Is this because of last night? You said it was okay for me to stay, Spencer," she told her annoyed. "I wanted to leave with you but you said it was okay."

Spencer threw her arms down by her sides. "It's not just that, Ashley!" Ashley took a step back at her forceful tone. "I haven't seen you all week, and the one night we finally see each other, you practically ignored me."

"I did not!" Ashley argued.

"Yes you did. You saw those people everyday at work and I just wanted one night with my girlfriend. One." Spencer emphasized her point by holding up her index finger.

Ashley crossed her arms in defense. She didn't think she did anything wrong. "I had a long first week at work and I wanted to relax and party. What's wrong with that?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "Nothing's wrong with that, but what's wrong with wanting to spend time with you? I thought we were going to spend the night together."

"We did!" Ashley pointed to the bed. "Wasn't that me in your bed this morning? I felt bad about letting you leave so I came here."

"Oh, so it's all okay because you snuck into my room last night," she said sarcastically. "The only time you want to spend with me is when I'm not conscious." Spencer also crossed her arms.

"You know what?" Ashley turned around and grabbed her shoes. "Call me when you're not on the rag, Spencer." She ripped the door open and stormed out. She didn't even care that she almost ran over Spencer's mom. Ashley muttered a "Morning, Paula" before she stormed out the front door.

Spencer was seething as she watched Ashley's retreating form. Not even her mom's glare was taking an effect on her. "Don't worry, mom. Nothing happened." She went back into her room and slammed the door.

---

Ashley practically kicked the door open as she entered her loft. She threw her shoes across the room and headed straight for her bedroom. "What the hell is her problem?" she muttered angrily as she started to change out of her clothes. "If she didn't want me to stay, all she had to do was ask." Ashley continued her angry monologue as looked for clothes to wear. She couldn't find any.

"Kyla!" She screamed and went to go look for her sister. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw that Kyla was standing where the door would've been if she actually had a door. "Jesus!" she put a hand on her chest.

Kyla looked at her cautiously. "You walked right pass me when you came in and I heard you muttering. What's the matter?"

"What's the matter? I have no clean clothes. I thought you were going to do the laundry."

Kyla rolled her eyes. "You know, one of these days you're going to have to learn how to do your own laundry."

Ashley just let out a groan that sounded like a tortured animal. She wrenched open her drawers to see if she had anything but all she found were some clothes Spencer left behind. She begrudgingly took them and put them on, trying to ignore the scent of lavender and laundry detergent.

"Whatever," Ashley said to no one in particular. She walked pass Kyla again and went into the kitchen.

Kyla frowned at her sister's behavior. She watched as Ashley pulled out dishes from the cupboards very loudly. "Okay, are you going to me what's wrong or are you going to bang around the kitchen like a petulant child?"

Ashley opened the cabinet where they kept their cereal and pushed aside all of Kyla's healthy crap. She reached for the box of Kix and angrily started pouring.

"Nothing's wrong," Ashley said mimicking Spencer's earlier statement while pouring the milk. She didn't care that she spilled it almost everywhere on the counter. "Everything is fucking peachy." She shoved a spoonful of cereal in her mouth and chewed loudly.

"Right," Kyla said but dropped the subject. It was too early for one of Ashley's bitchfest but she could've guessed that it was about Spencer. She left the kitchen and headed towards her own room.

"Where are you going?" Ashley suddenly said. She needed someone to bitch to.

"I have to go to the theater," Kyla called from her room.

"Why? It's Sunday. No one works on Sunday." She finished her cereal and dumped the bowl in the sink with a cloud crash.

"We're a little behind schedule. Opening is this weekend and half the set isn't even built yet." Kyla emerged from her room all dressed and ready to go.

"I thought you had Glen helping you out?"

"Oh, didn't you hear? Glen got a job so he can't really help out that much."

Ashley gave her a look. "How the hell am I suppose to know that Glen got a job?"

"Sp- Um, well yeah he got a job. I gotta go." She grabbed her purse and left.

Ashley let out a frustrated groan and went back into her room with the intent of getting more sleep and not think of Spencer. It didn't help that she was wearing her clothes or that the framed picture of her and Spencer was pretty much taunting her from her bedside table. She turned the picture face down and tried to sleep. It didn't work.

---

Spencer had now moved pass anger and now was just very sad. She sat almost slouching in the church pew as she listened to the priest's homily. It didn't help that the he was currently talking about the scripture reading that happened to be St. Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. The one about love. It was like God was taunting her.

"Sit up and pay attention, Spencer," her mother whispered to her. She did as she was told but refused to listen.

Love is _NOT_ patient or kind. Love _IS_ jealous and rude.

Obviously, Paul had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently, he's never been in a relationship with Ashley Davies. Spencer tried not think about her but couldn't help it. She knew this would be the first Sunday where Ashley wouldn't be waiting in the church parking lot ready to take her to brunch. Ashley wouldn't be there teasing her about her church clothes or asking her stupid question about the mass. No, Spencer will have to go back home and work on her schoolwork. She resisted the urge to excuse herself and call Ashley.

Maybe she was out of line. Ashley did come back and spend the night with her. And it wasn't like she completely ignored her the night before. Ashley just wanted her to be part of her new life. Spencer wanted to do the same when she started college. She did drag Ashley to a bunch of things with her new friends.

She was being irrational when she snapped at Ashley earlier. Ashley didn't deserve having her head practically bitten off. Spencer decided that she was going to apologize to her girlfriend once mass was over. Hopefully, Ashley would forgive her.

---


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five_

Ashley had successfully thrown all her clothes in a laundry basket ready to be washed. She just hoped Kyla would be home to actually wash them. She doubted that the record label would appreciate her coming in naked to work the next day. Or maybe they would. Ashley never knew with these people.

Going back to sleep didn't exactly go the way Ashley planned. All she could think about was Spencer and how angry they were at each other. She hated being angry with Spencer especially now since she had time to cool off. Spencer had every right to be mad at her but now she was too annoyed with herself to go and apologize.

Ashley glanced at her watch. Church had ended about twenty minutes ago and she should've been with Spencer right now, driving to their favorite diner.

"Just call her, you moron," Ashley told herself. She went to reach for her phone when she tripped over the laundry basket. "Mother fucker!" Pain shot up and down her right foot and all the way up her leg. Ashley hopped feebly trying to ease the pain when she heard a knock on her door. She groaned and kicked the basket for good measure and went to answer the door. She nearly fell over again when she saw Spencer standing there with an unsure look on her face, still in her church clothes.

"Hi," Spencer said softy. She took in Ashley's limping form and a concerned look crossed her face. "Are you okay?"

Ashley looked down at her foot where a bruise was forming. "Yeah, I just got into a fight with the laundry basket." She bit her lip. "I was about to call you," she told her holding up her cell phone that was still in her hand.

Spencer gave her a little smile. "Can I come in?"

"Oh yeah, sorry," she limped away from the entrance to let her inside.

"You should put ice on that."

"I'll be fine. Look Spence, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," they said at the same time. Spencer laughed. "No, I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did. I just really missed you and-"

"Spence, wait," Ashley stopped her and took a hold of her hand. "Can we continue this sitting down?"

Spencer laughed again and helped her girlfriend to the couch. Ashley propped her aching foot on the coffee table and turned to face Spencer.

"Spencer, you had every right to be angry with me. Letting you leave by yourself was really stupid and insensitive of me." She lost eye contact with her when Spencer looked down. "I missed you, too."

"Then why didn't you want to spend any time with me?" Spencer asked looking up. She knew she sounded pathetic but that's how she felt.

"I did want to spend time with you, it's just," Ashley stopped. She had no idea what to say. What was her excuse for not spending time with Spencer? "I guess I got a little excited being there and got distracted. I never meant for you to feel like you were being ignored." Ashley reached over and took her hand. "I'm sorry I let you leave. The party got really sucky when you did." She made a face and Spencer smiled.

"Thank you for coming over. Even though I was asleep."

"Well, I was missing my snuggle buddy." She pulled Spencer closer and put her arm around her. "You look hot in you church clothes by the way."

Spencer shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I look like a Sunday school teacher."

Ashley looked down at Spencer's outfit. She was wearing a knee length khaki-colored skirt and a pink button up blouse. "A very sexy Sunday school teacher. I might just have to corrupt you." She leaned in and kissed her while her hand was making its way up Spencer's skirt.

"Can I change please?" Spencer asked when they pulled part. Ashley's hand was still under her skirt.

"What's the point? You're going to be naked in about five seconds anyways." She tried to push Spencer down on the couch but Spencer stopped her and gave her a look. "I have no clothes. Kyla hasn't done the laundry yet."

At this, Spencer let out a loud laugh. "You still don't know how to do your own laundry?"

Ashley frowned and sat up. "No. Stop acting like that news."

Spencer stood up and held out her hand. "Come on, hopeless."

"What are we doing?" Ashley asked taking the offered hand.

"Your laundry." Spencer went to retrieve Ashley's laundry basket that was over flowing with dirty clothes.

"I sure hope that 'laundry' is code word for 'wild animal sex,'" Ashley said while Spencer was throwing the clothes out of the basket. "Hey! I just spent an hour trying to put all those in there."

"You didn't even sort them," Spencer said while throwing clothes in two piles.

"Sort them?"

"Yeah. It's a lot easier to sort them now so you can just put them in the machine."

Ashley scratched her head in confusion. "I have to sort them?"

"You really are hopeless," Spencer said laughing. "You have to sort your clothes so they don't get ruined. Darks, whites, lights, and delicates. I mean you wouldn't want this ruined, would you?" Spencer had one of Ashley's lacy bras dangling on her finger.

Ashley grabbed it from her and tossed it in a pile. "So I have to do four loads of laundry?"

"Well, not really. I usually combine my whites and lights and just don't use bleach. We can do that with yours since you hardly own anything that's white or light," Spencer put the clothes back in the basket and lifted it up. "Laundry room would be where?"

Ashley took the basket from her because it looked heavy. "I don't know. Basement?"

"You don't know where your laundry room is?"

"Don't act so surprised," Ashley said defensively. "I'm pretty sure it's in the basement." She shifted the basket so she carried it on her side. "Lead the way, please."

Spencer made her way down the building and down to the basement. "You do have soap and stuff, right?" she asked while opening the door that was marked "Laundry Room."

"Um," Ashley heaved the laundry basket on a nearby counter. "I think so." She looked around the room where she found a wall of lockers. "They might be in those." She made her way over to lockers and read the names that were taped on them. "Oh look, we have a locker!" she exclaimed when she read a locker that said "Davies/Woods" written on a piece of masking tape.

Spencer abandoned the machines she was checking and joined Ashley. "Do you have the combination?" she asked while holding the padlock.

"Yes!" Ashley turned the dialed and it unlocked. "Now, I know why Kyla asked for my old lock." She opened the locker and looked inside. "I knew there was a reason I kept Kyla around."

Spencer laughed and looked in the locker herself. Not only did Kyla have the laundry detergent in there, she also put in two rolls of quarters. "Alright, here." Spencer took out the soap and quarters and handed them to Ashley.

"What am I suppose to do now?"

Spencer shook her head and lead Ashley to the machines. "Okay, these are the washers," she told her slowly.

"I know what they are, Spence." She opened one of the lids.

"Okay, well. Darks usually use cold water and whites and lights usually use warm or hot water," Spencer explained while Ashley was loading the clothes. "You want to make sure that the clothes are balanced in there and that you don't overflow the machine. And put just a lid full of detergent."

"Don't overflow the machine, got it." She finished putting her dark clothes in the machine, poured some detergent in, and closed the lid. Ashley looked at the dials and turned them so it was on cold. She then inserted four quarters into the slot and then hit start. "There!" Ashley smiled proudly at Spencer.

Spencer smiled affectionately at her. "You're so cute," she told her.

"Don't patronize me," Ashley told her jokingly. "I think I deserve a reward, though." She leaned in and tried to kiss but Spencer held up the rest of her clothes.

"You're not quite done, yet."

Ashley groaned and loaded the rest of clothes. "There happy?"

"Very." Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck and leaned in for a kiss. Ashley had her hands on her hips and the next thing Spencer knew, she was being lifted onto the machine. "Ashley!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Ashley stepped into the space where Spencer's legs had spread slightly.

"Anybody could walk in here," Spencer pointed out but Ashley wasn't listening. She was already kissing her neck and unbuttoning her shirt. Spencer tilted her head as she ran her fingers through Ashley's hair. "God this is like a bad porn movie." She felt Ashley laugh into her neck and pulled Ashley closer with her legs.

Just when Ashley was about to take of her shirt completely, her cell phone rang. "Damnit," she cursed and reached into her pocket. Spencer sighed when Ashley looked at the call ID and flipped her phone open. "Hello…hey Dave…what? Now?"

Spencer started to button her shirt up again as Ashley started walking around the laundry room. She only did that when she was stressed.

"Okay, fine." Ashley hung up and looked at Spencer apologetically. "Um, I have to go down the studio for a while," she told her.

Spencer smiled at her. "That's okay, you go. I'll finish your laundry."

"You don't have to do that. I'll call Kyla and tell her to finish it." Ashley flipped her phone open again and started to dial.

"No, don't worry. I'll do it," Spencer told her reassuringly. "You go and head down to the studio." Spencer tried desperately to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"Okay." Ashley came up to her and helped her down off the machine. "I'll come back as soon as I can okay?" She pulled Spencer to her and gave her a kiss. "Then we can go grab dinner. I promise I'll be back soon."

Spencer smiled feebly. "Okay."

Ashley kissed her again. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'll be home soon, I promise," Ashley told her again before leaving.

Spencer let out a long sigh as she watched Ashley leave. Deep down she knew that was one promise Ashley couldn't keep.

---

Ashley quietly opened the door to the loft and tried to not to make too much noise. She was surprised when she saw Kyla sitting on the couch watching TV. "Kyla, what are you still doing up?" She asked making her way to the couch and sitting down next to her sister.

"I'm waiting for a call," she told her. She sounded really tired.

"At one in the morning?" Ashley asked raising her eyebrows.

"I'm waiting for a call from my cousin who lives in the Philippines. They're 16 hours ahead of us," Kyla explained.

"Oh, is everything okay?" Ashley asked concerned. She didn't really know that much about Kyla's family except for the fact that her mom lived in Baltimore. She had no idea where all her other relatives lived.

"Um, I don't know. I think it's my Lola."

Ashley raised her eyebrow very confused. "You're what now?"

Kyla let out a laugh. "Lola means grandma. I'm half Filipina remember?" she told her. "She's been sick."

"I'm sorry," Ashley said sympathetically. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Not really. I mean, it's not like she hasn't lived a long life." She turned to Ashley. "But I might have to go over there if she gets really sick. She wants all her family with her."

Ashley didn't know how to take this news. She got used to having a sister around after spending her entire life without one. She wasn't sure how she'd feel if Kyla were half way around the world. "Oh, um, how long would you be gone?"

Kyla laughed again. "I didn't say I was going to for sure leave. Trying to get rid of me, sis?"

Ashley stuck her tongue out at her. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do." She grabbed a pillow and hit her with it.

"Where the hell were you all day?"

"The studio. What time did you get home?"

"Around five," Kyla answered. "Why?"

Ashley ran a hand through her hair. "By any chance, was Spencer here when you got home?"

"Yeah, actually she was. She said that you two were going to go to dinner but then she left. And did you make her do your laundry?" Kyla accused.

"No, she was just helping me out," she said defensively. "Did she seem mad?"

Kyla eyed her. "Ashley, did you at least call her?" Ashley averted her gaze and went to her room. "Ashley!"

"I didn't have time okay?" She turned on the light in her room and started to get ready for bed. Her heart gave a little lurch when she found that Spencer had neatly folded her clothes and put them away.

"Ashley, you can't keep doing this to her."

"Doing what?" Ashley said angrily. She really didn't need a lecture after her long day.

Kyla sighed and crossed her arms across her chest. "You know what." And with that, Kyla left and went to her own room.

Ashley finished changing her clothes and went to bed. She was tired but somehow she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep. Grabbing her cell phone, Ashley texted Spencer.

_Im sorry._

---

Spencer lay awake in bed staring at her ceiling when her phone vibrated. She reached for it and flipped it open.

_1 New Message from Ashley Cell._

Without reading it, Spencer pressed the delete button.

---


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter Six_

Spencer reread the same the line in her book over and over and still none of it processed in her head. She shut her textbook close and pinched the bridge of her nose. Studying was definitely not a way to distract her from Ashley. She had to hide her cell phone under her bed so she wasn't tempted to call her. She already called her once today and it went to voicemail. Things between the two of them have not been going well. After Ashley's weak text message apology, Spencer had been snapping at Ashley for her inconsideration. Ashley in turn had been snapping back telling her that her job was very important to her. This just made Spencer feel not important. Not only did they not see each other anymore, their phone calls were less and less and usually ended with one of them hanging up angrily.

"Hey, baby sis," Glen said before barging into her room and sitting himself on her computer chair.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Seriously Glen, it's called knocking."

"What? The door was open. Can't a guy not hang out with his favorite little sister?" Glen said defensively.

"I'm your only little sister and no, you can't just hang out with me without wanting something in return. You have a job, Glen, I'm not lending you money." She opened her textbook again and tried to read the same line she was trying to earlier.

"I don't want money."

"Then what?" Spencer looked at him curiously.

Glen nervously wrung his hands and was staring at his feet. "Are you and Ashley going to Kyla's play tonight?"

"Not that I know of." She raised her eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, I told her that I was going and I don't want to go by myself so I was wondering if you and Ashley were going." He said all this very fast and was turning a bright shade of red.

"What's going on with you two?" Spencer asked teasingly while leaning back in her bed.

"Nothing's going on," he squeaked. "I've just been helping her out and she asked me to go see her play. We're just friends," he said not convincingly. "So can you and Ashley go so I don't feel like a complete idiot by myself?"

"I'd be lucky if I could get Ashley to come with me to a McDonald's," Spencer said bitterly.

Glen furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, thank you." He got up and ruffled her hair.

"Glen!" She tried to push him off her

"I gotta go and get some roses," he said while retrieving his wallet from his back pocket. "You think 15 bucks is enough?"

"For roses? No, and I thought you guys were just friends," Spencer teased again.

"It's opening night. Aren't you supposed to get flowers or something?"

"Uh huh, sure."

"Shut up, Spencer." He narrowed his eyes at her before leaving.

Spencer laughed at her brother's antics and bent over the side of her bed. She reached for her cell phone and flipped it open. She was momentarily disappointed when she didn't see any text messages or any missed calls and then pressed 2 on her speed dial.

It rang three times before Ashley finally picked up. "Yeah?" she said annoyed.

"Hello to you, too," Spencer told her coldly.

"Spencer, I'm busy."

"I know," she said through gritted teeth. Spencer was getting used to this response. Lately, Ashley sounded like a broken record. "I just wanted to ask you a quick question and then you can go back to your precious work."

"What?"

"Do you want to go to Kyla's play tonight?"

"Why do you want to go to Kyla's play? We never go to her plays." Ashley was distracted when David showed her something he was working on.

"I don't but Glen wants to go and he doesn't want to sit by himself so I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to keep him company." Spencer waited a few seconds but Ashley didn't say anything. "Ash?"

"Huh? Yeah sure, whatever I'll meet you there. I have to go." She hung before Spencer could say anything.

Spencer scoffed and threw her phone on her bed. "I love you, too," she said sarcastically. She grabbed the teddy bear that Ashley had given her and threw it across the room as well.

"Hey Spence, you think Kyla would like orchids instead?" Glen asked poking his head into her room.

Spencer smiled at her brother. At least one Carlin was having luck with a Davies sister. "Get her a bouquet of different flowers," she told him. "Actually, I'll help you pick some out at the florist."

Glen stared at her with wide eyes. "You're actually willing to help me?"

"Yeah," she said shrugging. "It's not like I have anything else to do." She grabbed her cell phone and put it in her pocket.

"Yeah, what's up with you lately? You're home all the time now." They made their way downstairs then made a detour to the kitchen to tell their parents they were heading out.

"Nothing's up," Spencer said and got into Glen's car.

"Please don't insult my little intelligence, Spence," he told her while he put the car into drive. "I know something's wrong and I have a feeling it has to do with that succu-bitch you call your girlfriend." Spencer hit him hard on the arm. "Ow!"

"Don't call her that. She's been busy at work," Spencer defended.

Glen rubbed the spot on his arm. "So that stops you from having fun yourself? Seriously, Spencer, you're home _all the time_. It's kind of pathetic now." She hit him on his arm again. "Ow! Seriously, when the hell did you learn how to hit so hard?"

"Just because I don't go out and party every night doesn't make me pathetic. What if I like staying at home?"

"I know you don't. I see you staring at your cell phone waiting for Ashley to call…" Glen droned on and on but Spencer tuned him out. She knew what he was saying had some point but she didn't want to hear out loud. Spencer had every right to go out and party with her friends but on some level, she didn't want to. She wanted to spend all her time with Ashley. It just sucked that Ashley apparently didn't feel the same way.

"…And she's like the world's biggest bitch. Ow! Seriously, Spencer, stop hitting me."

"Stop trashing my girlfriend. I know she's not perfect, but I love her and we'll work out whatever problems we have." Glen drove the rest of the way with his mouth shut. Spencer knew that he just didn't want to see her get hurt. Ashley would never hurt her. Not intentionally at least.

"I'm just looking out for you," Glen finally said and turned to look at her with best big brother face. "You're my little sister and I'd do anything for you."

Spencer smiled at him. "I know, Glen. I appreciate it but I can take care of myself. I'm not that little girl who Andy Morris pushed off the jungle gym."

Glen laughed. "God, that little ass. I swear if mom didn't pull me off, I would've broken his nose. Who pushes a little girl off a jungle gym?"

Spencer also laughed at the memory. "I wasn't even up that high, Glen."

"Yeah, well no one gets away with hurting Glen Carlin's little sister," he said while puffing out his chest.

"Whatever, ass eyes. Let's just go get your girlfriend some flowers." Glen finally pulled up to the florist and turned off the car.

"We're just friends," he told her again.

"Whatever."

---

Ashley broke the pencil she was holding in half after hearing what Lucas had to say about her and David's latest song.

"I'm just not feeling it. Brianna are you feeling it?" He asked showing Brianna the song.

"Yeah, no." But Ashley could tell she was just trying to please Lucas. Brianna may have a great voice but she was pretty much dumb as a post.

"Well, what's the matter with it?" David ask politely. Ashley couldn't understand how David kept his cool. They been working nonstop on these songs and did whatever the hell Lucas and Brianna wanted even though they hated the outcome, and David still managed to be calm. Ashley was two seconds away from exploding.

"I just don't see it as album material. What about that other song you guys were working on?"

"Which one? The one that you said sounded like nursery rhyme?" Ashley muttered but David gave her a look.

"What was that Ashley?"

"Um, nothing. What song were you talking about?"

"The one with the more rockier edge to it." Lucas shuffled through their composition sheets. "This one. David, lay the down the instruments to this song tomorrow. I think we're done for tonight."

Ashley let out a sigh of relief once Lucas and Brianna left the room. "Thank God, seriously are all the producers like Lucas?" Ashley asked David who was putting away his guitar.

"Actually no. You just got lucky that you got him on your first job."

"Lucky me," she said sarcastically. "I can't wait to get out of here," she paused. "Oh fuck."

"What's the matter?"

"I have to go to my sister's play tonight," Ashley said while she took out her cell phone. She saw the missed call from Spencer earlier.

"What time?"

"No clue. Eight?"

"Well, me and the guys were going to go the club to get some drinks right now. You think you have time to kill before you head on to the play?"

Ashley looked at her cell phone again. It was only five so she had plenty of time to get drinks and then go to the theater. "Yeah sure. Hell, I can use a drink after the day we had."

"Hell yeah, we can."

They were about to leave when Ashley's phone rang. She looked at the call ID and saw that Spencer was calling her again.

"Hello?" she said trying not to sound annoyed. Was it necessary to call her three times a day?

"Hey, I just want to tell you that the play is at eight-"

"I know, Spencer," she said a little peeved.

"God, I was just reminding you since you basically hung up on me earlier," Spencer snapped.

"I was working. What did you want me to do?"

"I don't know, Ashley. Maybe answer me the first time I called?"

Ashley scratched her head in frustration. "What's your problem? I was working. Do you answer my calls when you're in class?"

"That's not the point, Ashley."

"Then what is? I already said I was going to the damn play, what the hell else do you want me to do?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "Nothing. I'll see you later." Then the line went dead. Ashley let out an angry huff and shoved her phone in her purse.

David stared at her cautiously. "So, how about those drinks?"

Drinks weren't exactly what David had in mind once he and Ashley got to the club. He led her to the backroom where all his buddies were doing lines. "What you say, Ash? Ready to unwind?"

Ashley looked at the white powder and thought about her most recent fight with Spencer. Yes, she was ready to unwind.

---

"Does this shirt look okay?" Glen asked Spencer but she was looking toward the entrance of the theater.

"Uh huh," she said distractedly. The curtain was about to rise and Ashley was still nowhere in sight.

"You're not even looking, Spencer."

Spencer snapped her gaze back to her brother and looked at his outfit. "Yes, Glen you look fine. For someone who's just a friend, you did take the time to get dressed up." She averted her gaze back to the entrance.

"I'm pretty sure she's not coming," Glen said. "The play's about to start."

Spencer knew he was right and she mentally kicked herself for getting her hopes up. With the way things were going with Ashley and their most recent fight, she had no idea why she thought Ashley was going to come.

"You're right." She turned her face toward the stage and the lights dimmed. At least in the dark, no one could see her disappointed face.

About forty-five minutes into the play, the back door swung open and Ashley stumbled in the theater. She received a few looks before she found Spencer and Glen.

"What'd I miss?" she whispered loudly and almost fell over Spencer.

Spencer widened her eyes at the state Ashley was in. "What's the matter with you?" she angrily whispered.

"Nothing, I'm perfect," she said loudly and a few of the audience shushed them.

"Are you drunk?" Spencer asked smelling alcohol on her breath.

"I may have had a few drinks," Ashley giggled.

"Guys, mind taking this elsewhere?" Glen interrupted angrily. "You're disrupting the play."

Spencer grabbed Ashley's arm and practically dragged her out of the theater and into the lobby. "You're drunk," she said angrily. "Did you drive here?"

Ashley tried to keep her balance. "No, I'm not stupid Spencer. David drove me in my car and then took a cab back. Damn, you look hot in that," she stumbled towards Spencer and tried to kiss her.

Spencer pushed her off. "I can't believe you."

"Oh my God, Spencer," Ashley said exasperated. "Lighten up. When did you become such a tight ass?"

"Excuse me?" Ashley burst out into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. Spencer took a step towards her and tried to look her in the eyes. "Are you on something?" Ashley kept on laughing. "That's it, I'm taking you home. Give me your keys."

"No! I want to see Kyla." She turned around and tried to go back into the theater but Spencer grabbed her arm.

"No, I'm taking you home. Now give me your keys," Spencer held out her hand but Ashley refused to give her the car keys. Frustrated and fed up, Spencer just grabbed Ashley's purse and took them herself.

Spencer tried desperately to help a very drunk and a very high Ashley up to her loft. It didn't help that Ashley could barely keep her balance and pulled Spencer down with her. Spencer finally got her to her bed where Ashley promptly passed out. She bit her lip and proceeded to get Ashley into some sleeping clothes. Spencer looked at her girlfriend sadly and tucked her under the covers. She was about to leave when she heard Ashley call out to her.

"You're not going to stay with me?"

Spencer looked at Ashley who was staring at her intently through her glazed eyes. Even though she was beyond mad, Spencer didn't have the heart to leave her girlfriend in this state. She put on some of Ashley's clothes and climbed into bed with her without saying a word. She turned so her back was facing Ashley and stared ahead.

Barely even tired, Spencer just laid there trying not think about the girl who just put an arm around her.

---


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter Seven_

When Ashley's alarm rang, she thought someone was blowing a fog horn right in her ear. Groaning, she fumbled across her mattress trying to turn off the blaring noise. She finally hit the snooze button and tried to lift her head up. It wasn't the greatest idea Ashley had because once she did, her head felt like there were little sledge hammers in it trying to break her skull.

Ashley looked to her left and found that the space that was occupied the night before, was now cold and empty. "Spence?" she called sitting up. She put her hand to her head because she was afraid it was going to roll off. She grabbed onto her side table in an attempt to get up but ended up knocking over a water bottle. Ashley retrieved it and found 2 pills of aspirin as well. She quickly popped them into her mouth and downed the entire water bottle.

"Spencer?" she called again making her way out of her room. She went into the kitchen where she found Kyla drinking coffee.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Kyla greeted loudly.

"Ah." Ashley grabbed her head again and sat down at the table.

Kyla smiled evilly. "Okay, how about cloudy with a chance of showers?"

"Ugh, Kyla, not now. My head feels like it's about to explode." She put her elbows on the table and started to rub her temples.

"And who's fault was that?" she said seriously and glared at her sister.

Ashley took a deep breath. "Did you happen to see Spencer?"

"Yeah, I did." She got up and put her mug in the sink. "She left about two hours ago. You going to tell me what happened last night?" But Kyla already knew. The state Ashley was currently in and the look on Spencer's face when she left was enough to put two and two together.

Ashley continued to rub her temples and tried to recall the night before. She remembered the club and the backroom. And then doing lines. Something about the theater and Spencer. "Fuck," she muttered under her breath.

"Oh, is it coming back to you now?" Kyla said angrily. "Remember how crappy you treated your girlfriend? Remember how she took care of you despite of that? Is it coming back to you Ashley?" Kyla shot daggers at her.

Ashley rubbed a hand over her face and met Kyla's eyes. "I fucked up," she said lamely.

Kyla loudly clapped her hands which made Ashley wince. "Good job, Ashley! Do you want a prize for coming to that obvious conclusion?"

"Kyla, stop." Ashley felt like her ears were going to bleed.

"No, Ashley. You stop. Stop treating Spencer like shit and actually apologize."

"Don't you dare tell me what to do with my own relationship!" Ashley snapped back. Her head pounded even harder.

"Cause you're doing such a great job with it now?" Kyla ran a hand through her hair. "You don't even know you're losing her," she said quietly.

Ashley looked up. "I'm not losing her."

"Keep telling yourself that, Ash." Kyla gave her one more look before heading to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to breakfast," Kyla answered shouldering her purse. "Why don't you clean up the mess you created while I'm gone?" She opened the front door and slammed it shut just for good measure.

"Ah!" Ashley exclaimed from the loud slam. She put her face in the table and let out a long sigh. Her entire body ached and moving felt like the hardest thing to do now. She finally mustered up the energy to make it back to her room and grabbed her cell phone. Hitting 2 on her speed dial, Ashley laid back down on her bed and waited for an answer.

It went to voice mail. "Hey, this is Spencer, leave me a message." Beep.

"Hi, Spencer. Um, I have to go down to the studio in about," Ashley looked at her clock. "a half hour but I just wanted to call you. You're probably really mad at me but I'm really sorry about last night. So, call me when you get this message or I'll try to call you some time today. Thank you for taking care of me," she paused. "I love you." She flipped her phone close and proceeded to get ready for work.

---

Spencer finished listening to Ashley's message and shut her phone close. "I love you, too," she said quietly. She took a deep breath and pulled her covers over her head. She didn't sleep at all the night before. Spencer wanted to leave because she couldn't be around Ashley but every single time she tried to get out of the bed, Ashley's hold would tighten. She found it ridiculous that the only time Ashley wanted to be with her was when one of them was not conscious.

Right now all Spencer wanted to do was stay in bed all day and not think about Ashley. She didn't want to talk to her, see her, or miss her. One thing she was sure she wasn't going to do was call her back. Maybe Ashley would know what it's like when someone doesn't return your calls.

"Hey, Spencer?" Glen poked his head through her room. "Spence?" He walked over to her bed and shook her. Spencer pretended to be asleep. She knew Glen was going to have a big "I told you so" speech and she really didn't need it right now. "I know you're awake but I won't bother you. Just wanted to say that Kyla really liked the flowers and I'm about to meet her for breakfast." Spencer smiled. "And _she_ doesn't deserve you." He kissed the top of her blanket covered head and left. Spencer bit her lip and tried not to cry.

---

"How do you think that sounded? I know I changed a few things during the intro but I thought it worked well," David told Ashley.

Ashley stared blankly ahead not really paying attention.

"Ash?"

"What? Oh, yeah that sounded good."

David grinned. "Still recovering from last night? You were CRAZY!"

Ashley scratched the back of her neck. "Yeah, listen are we almost done for today?" She glanced at her watch. It was only noon but she felt like she's been there for longer than that.

"Why? Have places to be?"

"Yes, I do." She grabbed her cell phone and flipped it open. Spencer still hadn't called her back even after her second voice mail and text message.

"Well, technically we're not even suppose to be here considering it's Saturday, but Lucas might want us to change a few things." David put his guitar away and sat down behind a drum kit.

Ashley rubbed her face. "Alright, what else do we have to do?" It pissed her off that Lucas and Brianna weren't even the studio today and that her and David had to work.

"We got to lay more music for those songs we wrote," he drummed a beat.

Ashley groaned in frustration. "I'm not even in the damn band. Why can't you guys do this by yourself?" she snapped.

David stared at her with wide eyes. His band mates thankfully were in the recording booth and didn't hear Ashley's outburst. "What's up, Ash?"

"I just don't want to be here right now," Ashley said. Kyla's words kept echoing in her head and it didn't help that Spencer still hadn't called her back. She knew she seriously messed up and she wanted to fix it. She couldn't lose Spencer. She'd die.

"Um, well we can finish up. Just leave us your songs."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go home. Get some rest."

"Thanks." Ashley quickly grabbed her things and left the studio. She broke a few traffic laws when she drove to Spencer's house but she had to see her. Ashley rang the doorbell and almost fell backwards when Paula answered it.

"Ashley, what are you doing here?" Paula asked somewhat coldly. She was never Ashley's biggest fan. She always thought Spencer could do so much better. Preferably the check out girl at the grocery store. She was nice and stable.

"Hi, Paula, is Spencer home?" Ashley asked trying her best to be polite. She wished Mr. C. would've answered.

"Yes, but I don't think she's feeling too well. She's been up in her room all day."

A look of concern crossed Ashley's face. "Can I go up and see her?"

Paula stood there for a moment before opening the door wider. "Sure." She went back into the kitchen without giving Ashley one more glance.

Ashley shut the front door and made her way upstairs. She quietly opened the door to Spencer's room where she found Spencer completely under her covers.

"Spence?"

Spencer tensed when she heard Ashley's voice. She knew feigning sleep wasn't going to work this time considering she just felt the bed dip and the covers being lifted.

"Baby? I know you're awake."

Figuring there was no use in trying to pretend, Spencer threw the covers off and sat up in her bed. "What do you want?" she asked coldly not looking at Ashley.

Ashley bit her lip. "I called," she said lamely.

"I know."

Ashley swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to look at Spencer's face but she had it turned towards the window. "I'm really sorry about last night. That was really stupid of me to show up drunk to Kyla's play."

Spencer scoffed. "You weren't just drunk, Ashley."

"I know, but that was just one time, okay? I was just really stressed and I needed to unwind," Ashley explained. She knew it was a lame excuse.

Spencer snapped her gaze to Ashley and glared at her. "You needed to unwind? Really Ashley?"

"Okay, I'm sorry that was stupid but-"

"But nothing, Ashley. I hate what this job's doing to you. You've been working there for less than a month and it's completely stressing you out. Not to mention how you've been treating me." Spencer turned her face again because she felt like she was going to cry.

"I'm sorry," Ashley said again. "I was mad at Lucas and you were in the line of fire. I didn't mean to take it out on you." She tried to hold Spencer's hand but Spencer shook her off. "Spencer, I'm sorry."

Spencer turned to face her again. "You're always stressing and you're always snapping at me. And you look so tired." Spencer's anger was momentarily replaced with concern. "When's the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"

"Last night," Ashley said smiling. "I sleep better when I have you in my arms."

Spencer looked away again. Ashley was not getting out of this through her sweet talk.

"Look, Spencer, I'm really sorry about last-"

"It's not just last night, Ashley. God, you've been treating me like crap because your job is stressing you out!" Spencer snapped.

"So what? You don't think I can cut it?" Ashley snapped back.

"That's not what I meant. God, stop putting words in my mouth. This job was supposed to be something you loved to do, not piss you off."

"What do you want me to do Spencer?" she asked getting off the bed. "Quit my job?"

"No!" Spencer also stood up and stared face to face with Ashley. "I want you to treat me like I'm your girlfriend and not some fucking thorn in your side!" Ashley stumbled backwards at the force of Spencer's words. Spencer looked down feeling completely exhausted. "I can't do this right now," Spencer said quietly.

"What?" Ashley started to panic.

"I can't talk to you right now. I'm tired and I want to sleep. And I don't want to fight anymore," Spencer said almost defeated. "Would you please leave?"

"Are you seriously kicking me out?" Ashley asked disbelievingly.

"I can't look at you right now, Ashley," Spencer said sadly.

Ashley stared at Spencer not quite sure of what to do. "Okay," she turned to leave but stopped at the door. "I love you, Spencer." She waited a few seconds but Spencer didn't respond. She just turned so she was facing the window. Ashley bit her lip and left.

---


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter Eight_

Ashley angrily tried to pull the filter out of the coffee maker but it ended up falling to the floor scattering used coffee grounds everywhere.

"Damnit!" Ashley grabbed the broom and dustpan and started to sweep the mess while muttering curse words under her breath. It's been several days since Spencer had kicked her out and she hasn't heard from her since then. Every single time Ashley tried to call, it would go to voice mail and all her text messages were left unanswered. She even drove over to the Carlin household a few times but Spencer conveniently wasn't home.

The no communication was definitely taking its toll on her. Ashley was moodier than usual and the songs that she was writing were definitely a lot angrier. It came to a point where David stopped questioning her in fear that she might bite his head off. She stopped caring what the people she worked with thought about her. All she cared about was trying to get Spencer to talk to her again.

Ashley knew it was her fault but she feared that this realization was far too late. She hated herself for taking Spencer for granted. Spencer had been nothing but supportive and understanding of her job and all she did was snap and yell at her for no reason. Ashley hated that she took her anger and frustration out on the only person who ever believed in her. If it weren't for Spencer, she'd still be unemployed and wasting her life away. Sometimes Ashley wanted to bang her head against the wall because that's how she stupid she felt. Losing Spencer would kill her and she was afraid she was half way there.

Ashley dumped the coffee grounds in the garbage and threw down the dustpan. The sound echoed all through the loft.

"Whoa, you okay there?" Kyla asked walking into the kitchen.

"No," Ashley said running a hand through her hair. "Nothing's okay. I'm an idiot."

Kyla opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself.

"I know what you're going to say but I really don't want to hear it," Ashley told her.

"Say what?"

"I told you so." She took a seat at the table and bit her lip. "I'm losing her, Kyla," she said sadly.

Kyla sat down across from her. "She still hasn't called?"

"No, and I don't blame her. Kyla, what am I going to do? I don't think saying 'I'm sorry' is going to cut it considering that's what I said in all those voice mails."

"Well, you just have to give her what she wants," Kyla said sagely. "And respect it because she deserves at least that."

That so wasn't what Ashley wanted to hear but she knew it was the truth. "So if she wants to break up with me I have to respect that?"

"If that's what she wants."

Ashley took a deep breath and looked at her phone. She's been watching it like a hawk. "You think she's going to break up with me?" Ashley asked sadly.

"I can't answer that, Ashley." She put a hand on her sister's arm. "I know you love her, but sometimes that isn't enough."

Ashley let out a bitter laugh. "What does that even mean? Isn't love supposed to conquer all?"

Kyla didn't say anything and let a few minutes of silence just pass through them. It was interrupted by Ashley's cell phone. She quickly flipped it open without looking who was calling.

"Spencer?"

"Hey," Spencer's sad voice came through. "Can we talk?"

Ashley got up and went straight to her room. "Yeah."

"Not on the phone, can I meet you somewhere?"

Ashley swallowed. That didn't sound good at all. "You want to meet me here at the loft? Kyla's leaving for the theater soon."

Spencer didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Okay, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Okay." Ashley waited until Spencer hung up first before flipping her phone close. She walked back into the kitchen almost zombie like.

"What did she say?" Kyla asked.

"She's coming over to talk."

"Did she say anything else?"

"No." Ashley sat back down at the table and stared at her phone.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go now." Kyla got up and headed for the door.

"Kyla?"

She stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"

Ashley just stared at her. "I've lost her haven't I?"

Kyla bit her lip and made her way back to Ashley. "Go find her again." She gave her sister a hug before leaving.

---

Spencer took a deep breath as she drove to Ashley's loft. The past several days gave her some time to think about her relationship with Ashley. She understood what Ashley was going through with her new job. She knew that it was a hard and demanding business and it sometimes stressed her out. What she didn't understand was why Ashley continued to treat her the way she did. There came a point where Spencer reached the end of her tether. She couldn't allow Ashley to treat her that way no matter how much she loved her. Even though what she was about to do was going to kill her.

She knocked softly on Ashley's door and looked down. The door opened a moment later and she glanced at Ashley. She looked really tired and probably could've used a day's worth of sleep.

"Hey," Spencer said softly.

"Hi." Ashley stepped aside and let Spencer in. "Can I get you something?" She wanted to stall as long as she could.

"No, I'm fine, can we sit?" Spencer was already making her way over to the couch.

Ashley swallowed the huge lump in her throat and sat down next to Spencer. Minutes went by and still neither of them spoke.

"I love you," Spencer finally said looking straight into Ashley's eyes. "That will never change."

Ashley bit her lip, already feeling the tears behind her eyes. "I love you, too."

"Ashley, these past few weeks have been hard on both of us."

"I know and I know it's my fault, Spencer and you have no idea how bad I feel-"

"Ashley, wait. Let me say this." Spencer took a deep breath and gave herself a mental pep talk. "The way you've been treating me, it's not right and-"

"I know," Ashley interrupted again. "And I'm sorry."

"And that's another thing," Spencer said angrily. "You keep saying that but you don't mean it." Ashley opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "You just say it so I'll stop being mad at you but it's not going to work this time, Ashley. You can't keep expecting me to forgive you when you're not even sorry." Spencer stood up and started pacing. Ashley followed her movements too scared (or maybe too cowardly) to speak. "I had my doubts when you got this job," Spencer admitted to her. "I knew you could do anything because you're the most determined person that I've met but I was still scared that you might not be able to handle it."

"You didn't think I could do it?" Ashley said pathetically.

"I knew you could," Spencer said looking her straight in the eyes. "But I know you, Ashley. You don't work well under stress but I never thought that I'd be on the receiving end of that."

Ashley looked down ashamed. "Spencer, I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did." Spencer's voice cracked. "You hurt me and it seemed like you didn't even care."

Ashley's gaze snapped back to Spencer's. "I do care, Spencer. I care so much." She also stood up and grabbed Spencer's hands. "I can't excuse how I've been treating you but please, Spencer, don't give up on me. Don't give up on us."

Spencer freed herself from Ashley's grasp. "I'm not giving up, Ashley. But I can't keep doing this." Tears were now falling down her face.

"Please, Spencer," Ashley pleaded with tears also falling. "Don't do this."

Spencer looked down at her feet. "I can't keep waiting for you to come around. I can't wait for you to come to these realizations after too much damage has been done."

Ashley bit her lip. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," she took a deep breath. "We need a break."

"A break?" Ashley knew there was no such thing as a "break." It's just the prelude to a break up.

"You need to find balance in your life right now, Ashley. And I don't think there's room for me while you do that."

Ashley suddenly got very angry. "Who are you tell me what I need? I get to decide that, and I need you, Spencer."

Spencer just stared at her with the saddest look on her face. "I'm sorry, Ashley. But this is what I need." She walked towards the door trying not to look back.

"Spencer," Ashley pleaded again. Spencer ignored it and left the loft.

Ashley sank to her couch feeling like her entire world was just crumbling all around her. And it was. She just lost the greatest thing that's ever happened to her because of her stupidity. She felt empty as if someone just cut out something inside of her and it left with Spencer. Her heart.

---

Spencer sat in her car trying to stop the tears falling down her face. She kept telling herself that what she did was for the best. What good would have it done if she stayed with Ashley? She'd be miserable and their relationship would be nonexistent. She wasn't giving up like Ashley claimed. She was saving them. If Spencer didn't do anything, her and Ashley would eventually start to resent and maybe hate each other. That was the last thing she wanted. Yes, this was for the best.

Spencer started the car and left.

---


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter Nine_

"And these are all the new songs you've written?"

"Uh huh," Ashley answered monotone.

Lucas frowned as he flipped through Ashley's new songs. They were extremely depressing and were the exact opposite of Brianna's style. "David, what about you? Do you have anything new for me?"

David looked to Ashley and then to Lucas. "Um, no. Just the ones I've been working on with Ashley." He looked at Ashley again. She looked like the living dead. Slouched back in her chair, hair in a messy ponytail, and for the first time since David has met her, she was devoid of all make-up.

"Okay, well I guess you guys have to write something a little more up beat and none of this depressing emo stuff," he put the papers back down. "Brianna Tenly will not sing about emptiness and hollow hearts."

"Sure thing, boss. We'll get you some new material as soon as possible," David assured him.

"You better because the album is almost done and we wanted five of your guys' songs. So far we have two. Get to work." Lucas left without even a glance at the broken shell that was Ashley.

"What's going on with you, Ashley?" David asked her annoyed.

Ashley's dead eyes found David. "What?"

"This," he shoved her songs in her face. "This is the most depressing stuff I've seen. Not even the emos would like this. First you're writing angry songs, and now you're writing this. What gives?"

Ashley took the papers and read them over. "It's how I feel right now," she answered quietly.

"Well, it sucks and unless we want to lose our jobs, we better write something Lucas likes." David stood up and grabbed his guitar. He never did understand girls and their weird PMSy moods.

"Okay," Ashley also stood up and grabbed a guitar. She tried to think of something happy but it was damn near impossible since all she could think about was Spencer and how she didn't have her anymore. She half-heartedly strummed a chord. "Why can't we use one of my older songs?"

"Because Lucas wants something new and fresh," David told her impatiently. "Were you even listening in on the meeting that transpired two minutes ago?"

Ashley looked up at David's annoyed face. She knew it wasn't fair to bring him down as well just because she felt like she was going to die. "Sorry, Dave. I'll write some lyrics that are happier." She swallowed and grabbed her composition book. Tears sprang to her eyes when she opened to a page Spencer had written on so many months ago. _I Love You._ was written on the margin.

"Ash, are you okay?" David asked her concerned.

"Yeah," she lied wiping her eyes and then turned to a blank page. "I'm fine."

He sat down across from her and took the composition book from her hands. "Something happen with Spencer?"

Ashley bit her lip. "Yeah, we, um she kind of broke up with me."

"Oh." David had no idea what else to say. He absolutely sucked at the comforting thing. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. Completely mine actually." Ashley shut the book closed. She felt angry again. It was like this never ending cycle of horrible feelings. She'd wake up feeling happy because she just had a dream about Spencer. Then when she finally realizes that it was just a dream and Spencer was not next to her, Ashley would get extremely sad. Finally, she'd get mad at herself for letting herself lose Spencer.

"How about you come out to the club tonight? Loosen you up a bit," David suggested.

"No, I don't feel like partying right now." Ashley just wanted to go home and stare at her phone willing it to ring. Or picking it up, pressing 2, and then pressing end.

"Well, if you ever need a pick me up, you know who to call."

"Thanks, Dave."

---

Spencer entered her house waving around a piece of paper. "Who just aced the toughest Cinema Studies exam?" she asked her house.

"Let me guess, you?" Glen said coming down the stairs smiling.

"Hell yeah, I did," she showed him her exam.

"Great job, baby sis. It's too bad I have no idea what any of this means." He handed the paper back to her.

"Well, if you actually went to school-"

"Oh, Spence, please don't start. First mom and dad, Kyla, and you? There's only so much a guy can take." He went to the foyer and grabbed his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Spencer asked.

"Out to a party. Greg from the store is throwing one at his apartment. Want to come?"

Spencer bit her lip. "You invite Kyla?"

Glen turned his back in the guise of trying to find his shoes. "I might have called her or something."

"Uh huh, so you two are doing good?"

"Yeah I guess we are," Glen said smiling. "But I don't want to get my hopes up. I mean she might be leaving for a few weeks and I don't know if I can handle the whole distance thing."

Spencer looked at him confused. "Where is she going?"

"You didn't hear? Her grandma in the Philippines is really sick and she wants her family to be there with her you know when she, moves on," Glen said trying not to sound too callous.

"Oh." Spencer felt a pang in her heart. Those were the things Ashley usually told her.

"Yeah, well, she's been really sad about it so I'm trying to take her mind off it. You want to join us?"

Spencer shook her head. "No it's okay. I wouldn't want to be the third wheel on your date."

Glen just gave her a goofy grin. "Alright, spend another night at home. Mom and dad are out too, so you get the house to yourself." He opened the front door. "Don't do anything I would do." He gave her a wink before leaving.

Spencer sighed as she watched her brother leave. Usually, she'd have Ashley come over the second she had the house all to herself. Now she had an empty house with absolutely nothing to do.

"God, when did I get so pathetic?" She flipped her phone and started scrolling through her phone book. She subconsciously stopped at Ashley's name before scrolling down further.

"Fuck it," she said and dialed a number. "Glen…yeah I know I just saw you two seconds ago, I changed my mind. I want to go to the party…No you don't have to turn around. Can I invite one of my friends….Awesome. I'll meet you and Kyla there." She hit end and dialed another number. "Lonnie, hey…you doing anything tonight…want to go to a party with me…sweet, meet me at my place in like 20 minutes…okay see you soon."

Spencer hung up and let out a long breath. She had no idea when's the last time she went to a party. At least one without Ashley. She ran upstairs to her room and searched for something to wear.

---

"Kyla?" Ashley called when she walked into her loft.

"In here," Kyla's voice answered.

Ashley made her way into sister's room. "Hey, you want to order Chinese-" She stopped when she saw Kyla all dressed up and applying some make-up. "You going out?" she asked almost sadly.

"Um, yeah. Glen's picking me up and we're going to a party," she told her.

"Oh, okay have fun." She turned to leave when Kyla called her back.

"Do you want to go?" Kyla knew it was a stupid question but Ashley's been cooped up in the loft ever since Spencer broke up with her. Only time she left was when she went to work.

Ashley swallowed. "Is, um, Spencer going to be there?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Then no. I'll see you later." Ashley left and went to her room. She didn't even bother to turn on the lights or change out of her clothes. She crawled into her bed and buried her face in the pillows. A few minutes later, she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey," she heard Glen's voice. "You look, wow."

"Thanks, you look good yourself," Kyla said.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, hold on, let me just tell Ashley I'm leaving."

"Okay." Ashley could hear the detest in his voice and she buried her face further into the pillows.

"Hey, Ash, I'm leaving now," Kyla told her when she entered her room. Ashley didn't say anything. "Okay, well if you change your mind and want to go, I left the address on the table. I'll see you later." She heard Kyla's footsteps retreat.

"Oh yeah, by the way, Spencer's coming…" was the last thing Ashley heard from Glen before the door was shut. She sat up in her bed trying to digest the information.

Spencer was going to a party where there'll be drinks and people. And other girls who weren't her. Ashley shook her head of the thoughts. She couldn't (didn't want to) picture Spencer with somebody else. It made her physically ill. She got of bed and went to retrieve the address that Kyla left her. Ashley stared at if for a few minutes before putting it back down. What was she going to do? Go to the party and stop Spencer from talking to people?

Ashley groaned and got her cell phone. She flipped it open and dialed a number. "Dave….hey, it's me. I'd love to go the club tonight."

---

Spencer surveyed the apartment and tried to find her brother. "Over there," she told Lonnie and made their way over to Glen and Kyla.

"Hey!" Glen said loudly. He was already buzzed. "And who are you?" Glen asked Lonnie suggestively. Spencer and Kyla both hit him. Glen could be the biggest ass when he was drunk. "Ow! Geez, what's with you two and hitting me?"

Kyla shook her head. "Hey, Spencer, how are you?"

"I'm good," she lied. Kyla could see this look on her face. It was the same one on Ashley's. "This is my friend, Lonnie. Lonnie, this my brother Glen and my friend, Kyla."

The three exchanged pleasantries. "You want a drink, Spencer?" Lonnie asked.

"Yeah sure," she told her smiling. Lonnie left and Glen and Kyla looked at her expectantly.

"So, Lonnie?" Glen asked.

Spencer rolled her eyes. "She's straight, dumbass."

"Excellent! Ow!" Kyla hit him again.

"So Kyla, how are things going in the theater?" Spencer asked trying to change the subject.

"They're going good. We're already auditioning people for the next play."

"That's cool," Spencer said. It was weird talking to Ashley's sister. She had this weird feeling that Kyla hated her or something. She knew Glen hated Ashley.

"You did the right thing, Spencer," Kyla told her sincerely and made sure she was the only who could hear her.

Spencer gave her a feeble smile. "Did I?" Why did she feel so empty?

"Here you go." Lonnie said handing her a cup.

"Thanks."

"Alright, you chicks are boring me, let's dance, Kyla." Glen took her by the hand and led her to the middle of the room. "You two keep your hands where I can see them," he told Spencer and Lonnie.

Lonnie laughed. "What was that about?"

"Apparently he thinks we're going to hook up," she told her.

Lonnie laughed again. "Yeah no. I mean I think you're hot and all, Spence, but I like me some man meat."

"I know! That's what I told him." They started laughing and sipping their drinks.

---

Ashley sat in the backroom and watched as David and his buddies got drunk and high. "Come on, Ash. You came here for a pick me up so let us pick you up!" He handed her two shots. She took them and set them on the table. When Ashley called David, she had every intention of getting wasted and not think of Spencer but once she got there, she totally wasn't into it.

The night went on and Ashley took only one shot. Not even buzzed at all, she checked her watch. It was only midnight. She was ready to call it a night when her phone rang. Kyla was calling probably to check on her.

"Hello?" she had to put a finger to her other ear to hear her through the club music.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Um, I went out with David, what's up?"

"Oh, well I just wanted to tell you that I'm on my way home. I have to get up early tomorrow. Will I see you soon?"

Before Ashley could answer she heard someone else in the background.

"Hey, Spencer! Let's dance!"

"Ash?" Kyla asked.

Ashley swallowed. "Um, yeah I'll see you soon." She hung up and tried to process what she just heard. That was another girl asking Spencer to dance. Her Spencer.

"Hey, you didn't touch your other shot," David slurred to her.

She looked at the shot glass and then downed it. "Send more over, Dave. I need to catch up."

"Hell yeah!"

Ashley looked over to the table of lines and then snorted three in a row. She tried to push Spencer from her mind.

---

"Where do you live, Ashley?" David asked her. He was now completely sober and trying to get a very drunk and very high Ashley home.

"I have no idea!" she yelled. She reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper. "I think I live here," she told him giggling.

David took the piece of paper and read it over. "This says Greg on it," he pointed out.

"Who the hell is Greg?" Ashley asked stumbling towards her car.

"I don't know. Hopefully he's a friend." He helped Ashley into her car and got into the driver's side.

"You think Spencer's hooking up with someone else?" Ashley asked David once they started driving.

"I don't know." He absolutely hated taking care of his drunk friends. Especially now that he had a completely heartbroken one sitting right next to him. "How many lines did you do?"

Ashley rubbed her hand on her face. "This many!" She held out both her hands.

David let out a puff of air and drove to the address on the piece of paper. He ended up in an apartment complex where a few people were smoking and drinking outside. "Great another party. You think you can find your friend here, Ashley?" He looked to his side but Ashley had already left. "Ashley!" He ran out to follow her but Ashley was already making her way into the building.

"Spencer!" she called stumbling towards the building. She ran into a bunch of people but she was determined to find Spencer. "Spencer!"

Spencer turned to the sound of her name being called. Was she hearing things? She looked around and found Ashley stumbling towards her. "Oh my, God."

"Spencer!" Ashley exclaimed finally seeing her. She met her half way and tripped but Spencer caught her. "Hi, baby," she slurred putting her arms around her neck.

"Ashley, what the hell?" She tried to hold her up. "How the hell did you get here?"

"Dave brought me!" And on cue, David finally found them.

"Ashley, God! Don't scare me like that. I'm sorry, Spencer, she had this address in her purse," he explained.

"It's okay, David. I'll take her home." David handed her Ashley's keys and then left the party to go call a cab.

"You going to take me home?" Ashley asked through bloodshot eyes. Spencer looked at her angrily and then helped her to a couch.

"You stay here. I'll be right back." Once she was satisfied that Ashley wasn't going anywhere, Spencer went to go and find Lonnie. "Hey, Lonnie." Lonnie was talking to some guy she met earlier.

"Hey! What's up?"

"I have to take off, something came up, you okay here?"

"Yeah don't worry about me. I'll see you later." She gave Spencer a hug before returning to the guy she was talking to.

Spencer made her way back to Ashley thanking God that Glen left to take Kyla home two hours ago. "Alright, let's go," she told Ashley pulling her up.

"Who was that girl?" Ashley asked putting an arm around Spencer's neck while Spencer had one around her waist.

"A friend," she told her annoyed. "Are you on something again?"

"No," she lied. "I just wanted to see you. I haven't seen you in forever." Ashley dragged the last word out. Spencer didn't say anything as she helped Ashley to her car.

And once again, Spencer helped a drunk and high Ashley up to her loft and tried to quietly get her into bed. Ashley stumbled in very loudly and giggled when one of her shoes fell off.

"Shh! You're going to wake Kyla," Spencer angrily whispered.

"No I won't. She sleeps like a log. How does a log sleep?"

Spencer practically dragged her into her room and deposited her on the bed. Ashley sat up on the edge and looked up at Spencer. "You're so pretty." She reached out and pulled Spencer by the wrist making her sit right next to her.

Too tired to actually do anything, Spencer just sat there annoyed while Ashley tried to kiss her. "Ashley, stop it." She pushed her away.

"What's the matter, Spence? Don't you miss me?" She tried again to kiss her this time pulling Spencer by her neck and tried to push her down the bed.

"Ashley, stop," Spencer said angrily trying to push Ashley off her. She couldn't stand smelling the alcohol on her breath and the way she was trying to forcefully kiss her. It wasn't right and it wasn't Ashley. Now fuming with anger, Spencer put both her hands on Ashley's chest and shoved her hard. In the process, Ashley's bracelet caught on Spencer's neck and scratched her when Ashley fell backwards onto the floor.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Kyla had now entered the room and turned on the lights. She looked to Spencer who had a hand to her neck looking like she was about to kill someone and then to Ashley who looked completely dazed and confused on the floor.

Ashley shook her head and looked up at Spencer. Finally realizing what she had done, she got up and tried to walk over to her. "Oh my God, Spencer, I'm sorry."

"Don't," Spencer spat. She turned to Kyla. "Can you take me home?"

"Sure." Her eyes were still on her sister as Spencer walked out of the room.

"Spencer, wait," Ashley pleaded trying to follow her, but Kyla stopped her.

"Ashley, for her sake and yours, just back down. Sleep it off." And with that Kyla left as well.

Ashley blinked a few times trying to figure out what happened. She went to her bed, buried her head in the pillows, and cried herself to sleep.

---


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter Ten_

Ashley ran two red lights, three stop signs, and almost caused the paperboy to crash into a tree when she was speeding to Spencer's house. She didn't care about the incessant pounding in her head or the fact that she was so nauseous that she felt like if she even breathed, she'd throw up everywhere. Ashley didn't even bother to change out of her clothes, which were the same ones she had on the night before. She didn't care that her eyes were red and puffy or that her make-up was smeared. Ashley tried not to think about Kyla's angry screams of telling her not to go to Spencer's when she left the loft that morning. She was probably the one calling Ashley right now, but she had thrown her cell phone in the backseat and couldn't be bothered to retrieve it.

All Ashley could think about was the night before. Even if some of it was a little murky, Ashley clearly remembered Spencer taking her home and everything that transpired afterwards. She couldn't believe what she did and how she hurt Spencer. Ashley kept replaying it in her mind. The angry look on Spencer's face when she tried to force herself on her. The way Spencer told her to stop but she didn't listen. And the way Spencer pushed her off and how Ashley physically hurt her in the process. Even if that part was an accident, Ashley still wanted to die because of it.

She pulled up across the street from the Carlin home and ran to the front door, banging on it. "Spencer! Spencer, please, I need to talk to you," Ashley pleaded. Some of the neighbors peaked outside their windows trying to figure out who was causing all that raucous.

A moment later, the door violently swung open and Ashley was met with the angry face of Glen Carlin. "Wow, you look like shit," he said coldly.

"I need to see, Spencer." She tried to push her way through the door, but Glen held her back with one hand.

"Well that's too bad because she certainly doesn't want to see you." He closed the door behind him and stood in front of it.

"Stop being an ass, Glen and let me see Spencer." She tried to get in again but Glen still stood his ground.

"I'm the ass? Like I'm going to let you anywhere near her after what happened." Ashley never saw him look so angry.

She took a step backwards. "She told you?"

"She didn't have to tell me. I saw the look on her face and the fact that Kyla brought her home. It doesn't take that much to figure it out."

"I need to talk to her. I need to make her understand," Ashley said pathetically.

Glen let out a bitter laugh. "Understand what? That you're a pathetic and selfish little girl? That you don't care about hurting anyone as long as you get what you want?"

Ashley swallowed. She could feel the bile in her stomach churning. "That's not true."

"You know what?" Glen pointed towards Spencer's window. "Spencer is sweetest, kindest, most understanding person in this entire world. And the fact that you hurt her," he pointed his finger to Ashley. "Makes me want to kill you."

Ashley clenched her jaw. "Oh Glen, stop with the protective big brother act. It's getting tiresome."

Glen looked at her incredulously. "Act? Act?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and she visibly winced. He didn't put any pressure but just needed to get a point across. "It's not an act, you stupid bitch. Do you even know what it's like to be an older sibling?"

"I have a little sister, too!" Ashley yelled.

He let go of her. "Oh yeah, you're an _awesome_ big sister," he said sarcastically. "Tell me, do you know what's going on with Kyla right now?"

Ashley opened her mouth but Glen interrupted her. "Do you know that grandma got even sicker and that she's really upset about it?"

Once again, Ashley opened her mouth but nothing came out. She didn't know any of this. She couldn't remember the last time she had a conversation with Kyla that didn't involve her and Spencer. Has she been that self-involved?

Glen took her silence as a confirmation. "That's what I thought. You see I'm there for Spencer all the time. Ever since we were kids. I was there when that punk Andy Morris pushed her off the jungle gym. I was there when Debbie Snyder called her a disgusting dyke when she found out she was gay. And I'm here right now when Ashley Davies," he said her name with the utmost disgust and stared her right in her eyes. "Broke her heart."

Ashley swallowed again. Her throat was very dry and she felt like she was about vomit or faint. Or both. "I need to see her," she said softly.

"She doesn't want to see you."

"I want to hear that from her."

Glen opened his mouth to yell at Ashley but the door opened revealing a very tired looking Spencer. A flicker of hope crossed Ashley's face but quickly disappeared when she saw the cold stare Spencer was giving her.

"Glen, it's okay. Go back inside," she told him.

He looked hesitantly between the two girls. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Alright. If you need anything, just call." He gave Ashley one last glare before entering the house.

Spencer stood in the doorframe with her arms crossed across her stomach and her hands holding her elbows. She was still looking at Ashley with the same cold stare.

Ashley bit her lip and looked at Spencer's neck. The scratch could clearly be seen and Ashley felt a million times worse. Without even thinking, Ashley lifted her hand in attempt to touch Spencer but Spencer recoiled almost instantly.

"What do you want, Ashley?" Her voice was as cold as her stare.

"Spencer, I'm so-"

"What? Sorry? You should just tape record it if you're going to say it so much."

Ashley took a deep breath and tried again. "I didn't mean to-"

"Hurt me?" Spencer interrupted again. "You never mean to do anything, Ashley."

Ashley hated the way that Spencer was saying her name. It sounded almost foreign.

"I know I don't deserve anything from you-"

"You got that right," Spencer spat.

"Spencer, please if you just give me another chance," Ashley pleaded. She was willing to beg at this point.

"Another chance? Really Ashley? I gave you chances. Lots of them. You crossed the line last night. I don't even…" Spencer stopped. She couldn't stand looking at Ashley right now. Everything was different. She was different. Ashley was a complete stranger to her.

"Spencer, please," Ashley reached out again.

"I don't want to see you," Spencer suddenly said and Ashley stopped her advances.

Ashley felt like she just kicked in the gut. "What?"

Spencer ran a hand through her hair. She looked everywhere but Ashley's face as she tried to keep herself together. "I don't know who you are anymore," she said sadly. "Last night, you were a complete stranger. When you're like that, I don't want to be around you."

"Spencer, please, I heard you were going to that party and then Kyla called and I heard some girl on the phone say your name and then I didn't know how to deal…"Ashley stopped. Everything she was saying didn't make any sense.

"So you got drunk and high because you heard a girl say my name? How does that even make any sense, Ashley?" Spencer said angrily.

Ashley bit her lip. It sounded so stupid when she said it out loud. "I'll change. I'll quit my job. I'll do anything for you." She was getting desperate.

"I don't want you to do this for me, Ashley. I need you to do it for you. And until you figure that out, I can't be with you." Spencer took a step back into her house

"Spencer, don't." Ashley also took a step forward.

"Goodbye, Ashley." Spencer shut the door in her face.

Ashley just stared at it trying to digest everything that just happened. She felt dizzy and everything around her was spinning. She turned around and started walking back to her car when she felt the sour bile rush to her throat. Ashley heaved on the side of the road and threw up the contents of her stomach. Tears sprang to her eyes as she tried to make her way back to her car. Her throat was absolutely raw and she could still feel her stomach churning but everything else was completely numb.

She had no idea how long she was sitting in her car just staring blankly. A minute, an hour? Ashley finally put her key into ignition and drove off.

---

Spencer was lying in her bed just staring at the ceiling. She knew she did the right thing. Ashley had enough chances and she screwed up every single one. Last night was the last straw. Spencer couldn't believe Ashley let herself get to that point. That wasn't the Ashley she knew. The Ashley that she knew was strong and determined and not that sad and desperate girl who she left on her front step. She did the right thing. At least that's what Spencer kept telling herself.

---

Ashley drove around for about three hours before she drove back to the loft. She barely could think during that time and all that popped in her head was Spencer closing the door on her. That was it. She lost her for good this time.

She opened the door and her heart broke again when she saw suitcases on the side of Kyla's "door." Kyla walked out pulling another suitcase and stared at Ashley with the saddest look on her face. "Are you leaving me too?" Ashley said pathetically.

Kyla shook her head and put the suitcase with the rest. "No, I have to go. My grandma just took a turn for the worse."

Ashley crossed the room and threw her arms around Kyla pulling her into the biggest hug. "Oh Kyla, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I'm so sorry I've been such a horrible sister."

Kyla hugged her back burying her face into her neck. "Ashley, I know you're sorry but I'm so scared for you."

Ashley pulled back and stared at her sister. "What?"

"I don't want to leave you when you're like this," she said sadly.

It completely boggled Ashley's mind of how Kyla could still think of her when her grandma was dying half way around the world. "Don't worry about me, Kyla. I'll be fine," she lied.

Kyla looked at her with doubt written all over her face. "Will you promise me something while I'm gone?"

"Anything."

"Please," Kyla begged. "Don't do anything stupid. For your sake and for hers."

Ashley bit her lip. "I promise."

"I'm going to call you everyday okay?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do," she reinforced. "I need to know you're okay." Kyla went to her luggage and started checking things over. "I'm taking the next flight to the Philippines and it leaves in about two hours. I have a bunch of stuff to do before then. Are you going to be okay right now?"

Ashley nodded her head. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to go shower and then grab something to eat."

"Okay, I have to go down to the theater and make sure they'll be fine without me." Kyla gave her sister one last hug before leaving the loft.

Ashley walked into her room and was so tempted just to collapse in her bed and not wake up ever. She grabbed a towel and her robe and made her way into the bathroom. She felt absolutely gross as she stripped off her clothes. It smelled like vomit. Ashley looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't recognize the person staring back at her. Glen was right. She did look like shit. Ashley had the sudden urge to punch her reflection but stopped herself as Spencer's voice echoed in her head.

She didn't know who she was anymore. This wasn't the girl who Spencer fell for. More tears fell down Ashley's face as she stared herself in the eyes. That's when Ashley decided that she was going to change. She was going to be the girl that Spencer deserves. Ashley was going to get Spencer back if it was the last thing she ever did.

---


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter Eleven_

Ashley fumbled around in the dark looking for her ringing cell phone. She knew she should have placed it somewhere easier to reach since she was expecting a call very late at night. Ashley managed to knock over everything on her bedside table and she heard glass shattering before flipping her phone open.

"Hello?"

"Took you long enough," Kyla's teasing voice came through.

"Sorry, not used to 3 in the morning phone calls just yet," Ashley sniped back. She heard Kyla chuckle softly. "How is everything?"

Kyla sighed through the phone. "The same. There's not a lot to do but, you know wait."

Ashley bit her lip as she sat up in her bed. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like to wait for someone you loved to die. "You've been doing any sight seeing?"

"Yeah, I haven't been here since I was little. God, Ashley, the beaches are amazing. The whitest sands. We have to go here some time for a vacation."

Ashley smiled. "Count on it."

"So, how are things with you?" Kyla asked tentatively.

"Oh you know, the same," she answered sadly. "She still hasn't returned any of my calls and Glen won't let me through the front door."

Ever since Spencer closed the door in her face, Ashley's been trying to get her back. It was hard considering Spencer avoided her at all costs. It was driving Ashley crazy. With Kyla gone, Ashley's never knew exactly how lonely she was. She didn't have her sister, her best friend, or her girlfriend.

The only distraction she got was work, which proved to be little distraction. Brianna suggested that all her love songs just _had_ to be written by Ashley so she had to write the cheesiest songs ever just to please both Lucas and Brianna. Ashley had to push her personal feelings aside and try to write a few good "you complete me in every way" songs without trying to think about Spencer. It was hard but Ashley managed to do it. The album was pretty much done so she could take a little break. She didn't have to be at the studio as much and she could actually stay home on the weekends. Ashley found this turn of irony completely unfair.

"Maybe you should just give her some space," Kyla suggested.

"I don't want to," Ashley stubbornly said. "If I give her space, then she'll move on. I don't want her to move on. I want her with me."

"You can't force her, Ashley."

"I know. But I can try."

"Alright, just don't do anything stupid."

"I won't," Ashley assured her.

"Okay, I'm going to let you get back to sleep. Glen's expecting a call from me anyways." At this, Ashley rolled her eyes. "Stop that."

"What?" Ashley looked around stupidly thinking there was a hidden camera somewhere.

"Rolling your eyes. I know you don't like him-"

"More like he hates me," Ashley said bitterly.

"He doesn't hate you, he just…"

"Hates me? Look it's fine. I know you like him and I want you to be happy. So go call your man."

"Thank you. Bye, Ashley."

"Bye."

Ashley hung up and rubbed a hand over her face. The one thing she hated about these late night calls was that she could never go back to sleep. Which meant she would spend the remainder of the night thinking about Spencer. She went to put her phone back on her table when she remembered that she knocked everything off it. Ashley bent down and started to retrieve all the fallen objects but drew her hand back when she touched something sharp. She turned on the lamp and searched for whatever that was.

The framed picture of her and Spencer had a huge crack and the glass was in many pieces. Ashley felt a pang in her heart as she stared at the broken picture. It was painfully symbolic. She took the picture out and threw the frame in the trash. Ashley bit her lip trying not to cry as she put the picture under her pillow. Tomorrow was another day to try to get Spencer back. That was the last thought in her head before Ashley fell back asleep.

---

Spencer ran around her house trying desperately to find Glen's car keys. She had forgot to set her alarm the night before and now she was running late for class.

"Glen!" she called hoping her brother was still around and didn't leave for work. That meant she would have to take the bus or call a cab and then she would be really late for class. "Glen!" she called again making her way into the living room. She let out a loud yelp when she found Glen completely passed out on one of the couches. She was expecting a mound of cushions not her brother. "Glen!" she shouted shaking him awake.

"What?" He sat up looking around confused.

"Where the hell are your car keys? I'm running so late, and why the hell are you sleeping on the couch?"

Glen rubbed his eyes. "Kyla called last night and I must have fallen asleep out here."

"Oh," Spencer said momentarily distracted. "Keys!"

"Alright!" He said wincing at her shrieking voice. He reached into his jean pocket and handed it to her. "I need those back by three," he called but Spencer was already flying out the door.

Spencer almost ran into a deliveryman when she rushed out. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry," she apologized.

"No problem," he said with a little amusement. "I have a delivery for Spencer Carlin?" he said looking at his clipboard.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows confused. "Uh, that's me."

"Sign here." He handed her the clipboard and she signed it. "Alright boys!" he yelled over his shoulder.

Spencer's eyes widened in shock as three other deliverymen came in carrying huge bouquets of peach-colored roses. "What the?"

"Where do you want them?" one of them asked.

Spencer stood there still a little dumbfounded as she pointed somewhere inside the house.

"What the hell?" Glen asked also confused as he watched the men put the flowers on a nearby table.

"Have a good day, ma'am," one of them said as they all left.

"Who sent you these?" Glen asked.

Spencer went over to the plethora of roses and looked inside to see if there was a card. She found one and opened it.

_For you…Always_.

"Ashley," she whispered. That what she used to write on everything she ever gave Spencer.

"She sent you all of these? What an idiot," Glen commented. "Aren't you late?"

"Crap!" Spencer rushed out the house as she quickly as she could. While driving to campus, she also called Ashley. She picked up after one ring.

"Hello?"

"What the hell, Ashley?" Spencer said angrily.

"You got my roses?"

"Yes I got your roses. It's like a frigging greenhouse in my foyer right now. What do you think you're doing?"

"So you didn't like them?" Ashley said dodging the question.

Spencer gripped the phone against her ear. "Ashley, what are you doing?"

"Sending you roses," she said softly.

"You know what whatever, I'm late for class and the delivery made me even later," she hung up the phone and threw it in the passenger seat.

Ashley stared at her cell phone and let out a sigh. She knew sending the roses wouldn't do anything but she wanted to do some kind of gesture to show Spencer how much she meant to her. Ashley even got peach-colored ones because she knew how much she loved them. Obviously this was the wrong way to go about it and she felt bad she made Spencer late. She glanced at her watch now just realizing she was also late for work.

---

Spencer was not in a good mood after her last class of the day. All she could think about was Ashley and her feeble attempt in trying to get back in her good graces. Did she think buying her a million of her favorite roses was going to win her back? She was completely delusional if she thought that. Spencer was also stressing out about an oncoming film festival and she really wanted to submit one of her shorts but didn't think it was good enough.

"Hey, you look like you could use a pick me up," Lonnie said walking up to her.

"I need more than that."

"What's the matter?"

"Everything," Spencer said dramatically. Lonnie was one of her good friends but she didn't really want to subject her to the drama that was her and Ashley.

"Worried about that film festival?"

"Yeah, I mean I really want to submit something but what if they just laugh at me?" She said as they sat down on the grass.

"Oh come, Spence, your stuff is amazing. And plus they welcome new filmmakers with open arms. They're getting really sick of the same people submitting the same shit every year," she told her.

This calmed Spencer down a little. "That's good." She leaned back on her elbows. "I'm starving," she announced.

Lonnie laughed. "Hear about that new restaurant that opened downtown? It's supposed to be amazing. Like the food is orgasmic or something."

"Mmm, orgasmic food," Spencer said. "Let's go!"

"I'd love to, but their wait list is insanely long."

"I can get us in," a voice behind them said.

Spencer looked up and saw Ashley hovering over them. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to go grab some lunch," she explained. She smiled tightly to Lonnie.

"No, thanks I'm fine," Spencer said coldly.

"Spence, you just said-" Lonnie started.

"It's fine, I'll just grab something later. I have to go. See you later, Lonnie," she got up quickly and started walking towards the parking leaving Lonnie confused.

"Spencer, wait," Ashley called running after her.

"Don't you have to be at work or something?" Spencer asked without looking back.

"I have a lunch break," she said finally catching up with her. Spencer was a fast little walker.

Spencer scoffed. "Right, whatever." She took the car keys out of her purse and went to Glen's car.

"Come on, Spencer. Have lunch with me," Ashley pursued.

Spencer opened the door to the driver's side nearly hitting Ashley in the process. "Why would I do that?" she spat.

"Because you're hungry?" Ashley said lamely.

She just glared at her. "Goodbye, Ashley." Spencer got into the car and drove off leaving Ashley in Glen's car's smoke exhaust. She watched Ashley through the rearview mirror and tried to suppress the feeling she had in her heart. Ashley looked really sad standing in the parking lot. "Stop it, Spencer," she told herself and drove home.

---

Ashley went back to work with an empty stomach and a broken heart. She went back to the studio and sat down in the chair. She was pretty sure no one noticed her even walk back in.

"Oh, Ashley, Mr. Elwood wants to see you," David told her.

"What?" She started to panic. Why did Mr. Elwood want to see her?

"Yeah, he told me to tell you once you came back from lunch."

"Did he tell you what about?"

David shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me."

Ashley stood up and left the studio. She made her way to the elevator trying to calm herself. What could Mr. Elwood possibly want with her? Was going to give her a new artist to work with? Wouldn't David have told her that? After all, he was technically her superior so Mr. Elwood would tell David first. Was he going to fire her because of her last few crappy songs?

Before Ashley knew it, the elevator doors slid open and she was on Mr. Elwood's floor. She swallowed as she made her way to his office and stopped at his door and knocked softly.

"Come in."

Ashley slowly opened the door and poked her head in. "You wanted to see me, Mr. Elwood?"

"Oh yes, Ashley, please take a seat."

She took a deep breath and walked into his office. She hadn't been in there since her first interview. Ashley took a seat in front of his desk.

"So, Ashley, how have you've been?" he asked folding his hands across his desk.

"Good."

"And working with everyone?"

"Oh, everyone's been amazing," Ashley said a little too enthusiastically.

"That's good to hear. Listen, Ashley, your songs have been phenomenal. The way Lucas talks about you is unbelievable," he told her.

Ashley widened her eyes in shock. She was always under the impression that Lucas hated her. "Thank you."

"Which is why I'm giving you a little a promotion."

"A promotion?" Ashley squeaked. Excitement coursed through her body.

Mr. Elwood smiled. "It's a bit unorthodox considering you've been only working here for a few months but you deserve it. You're one of the best songwriters we've ever hired."

Ashley blushed. "Thank you, thank you so much."

Mr. Elwood stood up and gave her a large manila envelope. "This is for you. You're going to need it."

Ashley took the envelope and opened. Inside was nameplate with her name on it and a set of keys. She held them up a little confused.

"For your new office," he told her.

"My office?" Ashley squeaked again. "I get an office?"

"Yes, you do. On the 20th floor. It's a great view."

She stared at it still in disbelief. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Now, go and move in," he held out his hand and Ashley shook it vigorously.

"Thank you so so much, Mr. Elwood," she said again.

She left his office trying not to jump in delight. Ashley was so excited that she didn't even realize pulling out her phone and hitting 2 on her speed dial. Then her heart sank when it straight to voice mail after one ring. Ashley shut her phone and then stepped into the elevator, hitting the button for the 20th floor. The one person she wanted to share this news with refused to speak to her. Ashley leaned back on the elevator wall and sighed.

---


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter Twelve_

Spencer was stressing out. The deadline for the film festival submissions was fast approaching and she still didn't know which one of her shorts she wanted to submit. She even contemplated on filming a new one entirely but she would absolutely have no time to edit it. Plus Spencer didn't think she could pull an idea out of her ass on a moment's notice.

She sighed as she slammed her laptop shut. All her shorts seemed so mediocre at the moment. From her documentary on the homeless in L.A. to her 14 minute short film about a junkie locking himself in a room for a month straight trying to get clean. Everything seemed cliched and boring. Spencer was two seconds away from just forgetting about the film festival when she remembered one documentary she filmed a while ago. She opened her laptop again and searched through her files. It needed a little tweaking and she was going to add another segment but it was the one she wanted to submit.

Spencer was just rewatching it when her phone vibrated. She flipped it open and rolled her eyes when she saw that it was a text message from Ashley. The past week, Ashley had been sending her more gifts whether it be in the form of flowers, candies, or a huge teddy bear holding a heart with the words "I Love You" on it. That was currently sitting in the foyer and Glen would kick it every single time he'd trip over it. She wasn't kidding when she said that Ashley was the most determined person she knew but right now, Ashley's determination was pissing her off. She was still mad at Ashley and all her over the top gifts in attempt to get her back was not appeasing her anger at all. Spencer wished that Ashley would just leave her alone for a bit.

She thought about whether just deleting the text without actually reading it but her curiosity got the best of her.

_Turn on 102.7_

"What?" Spencer reached over to her clock radio, turned it on, and then switched it to 102.7. The last few seconds of a song were just ending and the DJ came back on.

"Alright, we have a dedication. This one's from Ashley to Spencer. Here's Kelly Clarkson's latest single 'My Life Would Suck Without You'...."

The opening riff of the song started playing and Spencer fell face forward on her bed. "Oh my God," she said annoyed. She blindly reached over to her radio and tried to turn it off just as the chorus started. "What is she doing?" Spencer asked her room. That was it. Spencer was completely fed up.

---

Ashley stared at her phone expecting it to ring. The song was almost over and she was almost positive that Spencer got the message. She just thought it was appropriate to dedicate a Kelly Clarkson song with the title "My Life Would Suck Without You." Hopefully Spencer knew exactly how much her life _did_ suck without her. Spencer hasn't been very receptive to any of her gifts but hopefully that would change. She couldn't ignore her forever. Right?

The song ended and Spencer still hadn't called. Ashley threw her phone on the couch and let out a long sigh. Maybe Kyla was right. Maybe she should just leave her alone and give her some space. But then Spencer would have that time to move on and forget about her. Ashley didn't want that. No, she was going to keep trying until Spencer talked to her again.

At least one thing in Ashley's life was going well. The promotion has been treating her very nicely. People now went to her for song approval and she got to choose what artists she would like to work with. She brought home a bunch of demos of some recently signed artists to see which ones she'd like the best. Those demos were currently sitting in a pile in her room. She didn't have the time to listen to them because she was too busy trying to get Spencer back.

Figuring she should actually try to listen to those demos, Ashley started to make her way to her room when a loud knock came from the door. She furrowed her eyebrows as she answered it and was nearly trampled over when a very angry-looking Spencer came barging in carrying a box of things.

"Spencer," Ashley said, her face lighting up.

"Stop it," Spencer said coldly staring her right in the eyes.

"Stop what?" Ashley responded dumbly.

"This." She shoved the box into Ashley's hands and Ashley almost dropped it. Ashley looked inside and saw it was all the flowers and gifts she'd been sending Spencer.

"Spencer, these are yours." She tried handing them back to her.

"I don't want them. Stop it, Ashley. Stop with the flowers, the candy, the giant teddy bears, and the lame ass song dedications!" She ran both hands through her hair. "Just stop, Ashley."

Ashley swallowed and set the box down. "Spencer, I just wanted you talk to me again."

"With all this? Just leave me alone, Ashley."

"I can't. I need you."

Spencer let out a long breath. "I just need time, okay? Can you at least give me that?" She didn't wait for a response and left without looking back.

Ashley stared at the box completely dejected. She kicked it all the way to her room and then collapsed in her bed. Could she give Spencer what she wanted? Time? How much time?

"I miss you," Ashley said out loud. She was about to start another round of her "woe is me" tangents when her phone rang from the living room. She went to retrieve and smiled when she saw Kyla was calling. "Hey, sis."

"Hi, you sound cheerful."

Ashley had perfected feigning happiness every single time Kyla called. She didn't want to be that selfish girl who only talked about her problems so every single time Kyla called, she focused all her attention on her sister. The only time Ashley brought up Spencer was when Kyla asked and even then she kept it short.

"It's the weekend. I have no work. The sun's shining..." Ashley sat down on the couch.

Kyla chuckled. "Well, the sun never stops shining here, but the mood couldn't be any more somber," she said sadly.

"Still no change then?" Ashley asked sympathetically.

"No, we've been doing the Fatima by her bedside every night though."

Ashley bit her lip confused. "The Fatima?"

"Yeah sorry. Really religious Filipino Catholic thing," she clarified.

"Ah, I see. Well I miss you like something fierce."

"I miss you, too. How's everything Ms. Promotion?"

Ashley smiled. "Good. Feels weird to have people working under me. I have to sign things. I'm one of the youngest people on my floor. I feel like a kid."

"A very talented kid." Ashley smiled again. "So how are _other_ things?"

Ashley found it adorable that Kyla would never actually say Spencer's name. Like it would hurt her if she did. "You mean Spencer? I think I'm going to give her that space and time that she wanted."

"Really? What happened? Last time I checked you were willing to rent out the Kodak Theater and throw a concert for her."

"No, well she came over today with all the stuff I gave her," she said sadly.

"Oh."

"Yeah, and she told me she wanted me to leave her alone. And I was thinking I should give her what she wants because I don't want her to hate me." God, did she not want Spencer to hate her.

"I think it's for the best, Ashley. Just give her some time."

"And after I give her that time, what next? You think she'll still want me?"

There was long pause before Kyla answered again. "I can't answer that."

"I know. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm nothing without her, Kyla."

"You're not nothing, Ashley. It just feels like that right now. Listen, I have to go. It's five in the morning over here so I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Mahal kita, Ashley."

"Mah hall kih tah? Heh?"

Kyla laughed. "It means 'I love you' in Tagalog." There was another pause. "It also means 'you're expensive,' which is also true," she said laughing.

"Haha, love you too, crazy girl. Bye."

Ashley hung up the phone with a genuine smile on her face. It felt good to smile. It was something she didn't think she could do ever since Spencer broke up with her. But if Ashley was going to make this work, she had to do was Spencer wanted. What Spencer deserved. She deserved the world. Hopefully Ashley could still give it her.

---

Spencer rubbed her temples as she was re-editing her documentary. She forgot how annoying it was to work on her laptop. It was actually Glen's old laptop since she didn't have the money to buy a new one. Everything was so slow and Spencer was two seconds away from throwing it out her window. She usually used Ashley's computer when she edited her videos but that wasn't currently an option. She finally got the editing program open when someone rang the doorbell.

"Are you serious?" Spencer asked annoyed. She was home alone so she had to answer the door. She begrudgingly got out her bed and went downstairs. Apparently whoever it was became a little impatient and rang the doorbell again. "Alright, I'm coming!" Spencer opened the door and got even more annoyed when she saw Ashley standing on her front step. She didn't say anything as Ashley stood there nervously.

"Look, Spencer, I'm sorry," Ashley started.

"Here we go again," Spencer said exasperated.

"No wait. Please hear me out."

Spencer took a deep breath and stood in the door frame, crossing her arms.

"I'm sorry for thinking I could buy back your affections. That was really stupid of me and you deserve better than that. So I'm going to give you that space you wanted. I'll stop bothering you." Ashley stared at her feet. She's never been so unsure of herself.

"Thank you," Spencer said quietly, softening a little. She's never seen Ashley look so defeated.

"You know I'm here," Ashley said looking up. "If you ever need me. I'll always be here for you."

Spencer bit her lip. "Okay."

Ashley nodded. "Goodbye, Spencer." She turned around and walked back to her car. It took all her strength not to look back but she did it. This is what Spencer wanted so this is what she was going to give her. Even if it did kill everything in Ashley, she wanted nothing more than for Spencer to be happy.

---


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter Thirteen_

Ashley opened every cabinet and every drawer in her kitchen in search for something to eat only to find a box of old Girl Scout cookies and wondered how they even got in there. The fridge and freezer were absolutely empty unless she could find a clever way of making a meal out of baking soda and ice. She knew she shouldn't have put off grocery shopping this long but she absolutely hated doing it. That's why Ashley always made Kyla go and just gave her a list of things she wanted.

Being that Kyla was half way around the world, Ashley figured she should actually go to the store before she starved to death. She grabbed a pen and paper and started listing the things that were an absolute must.

Food  
Soda

Ashley scratched her head with the pen trying to think of what else she needed. She should've elaborated more but she was way too lazy. "Oh! Laundry detergent!" she said out loud. She knew she couldn't put that one off either. Ashley's been sending her clothes off to a cleaners instead of actually doing it herself. There was no way she'd risk ruining her clothes but she had a weird inkling that the sketchy guy who worked at the cleaners was doing some weird things to her delicates. Ashley even threw all her underwear out and bought an entire new set.

She looked over her list one last time before heading out to the local Food Emporium. Ashley felt kind of weird as she pushed a cart down the aisles. Her first stop was the cereal aisle and loaded the cart with three boxes of Kix. Ashley loved her Kix.

The cart was nearly full now with various things such as frozen foods, boxes of Hamburger and Tuna Helper, ground beef, tuna, potato chips, soda, yogurt, cereal, personal hygiene products, and anything else that Ashley threw in there. She finally pushed the heavy cart down the aisle where they kept the laundry detergent and furrowed her eyebrows at the wide variety. She couldn't for the life of her remember the brand that Kyla used.

Ashley looked at the various bottles and read the labels. She was most amused at the names of the scents. "How the hell does a moonlight path smell like?" she pondered out loud before taking the bottle and unscrewing the cap. She took a whiff and immediately put it back. There was no way her clothes were going to smell like a moonlight path. Ashley knew she shouldn't be choosing the soap by just its scent but she had no idea what to look for. She was just sniffing her fourth bottle when a familiar voice called out to her.

"Hey Ashley."

Ashley nearly dropped the bottle when she saw Paula Carlin pushing her cart towards her. "Paula-um, Mrs. Carlin." She swallowed and put the laundry detergent back on the shelf.

Paula gave her a little smile. "Grocery shopping?" she asked raising her eyebrows at the mess that was Ashley's cart.

"Uh, yeah," Ashley said blushing. The last thing she expected was to run into her ex-girlfriend's mom at the grocery store. She looked over Paula's shoulder expecting see Spencer.

"Spencer's at home," Paula said when she saw Ashley's wandering eyes.

"Oh." Would it be too rude if she just ran away? Paula's never been nice to her anyways.

"So, how have you been, Ashley?" Paula asked sincerely that it took Ashley by complete surprise.

"I've been," she paused. "Good, I've been good. And you?"

"The same."

Ashley nodded and they both stood there in an uncomfortable silence.

"Well, I'll let you get back to shopping," Paula said as she started pushing her cart around.

"How's Spencer?" Ashley blurted. She hasn't seen or spoken to her in God knows how long and she was missing her like crazy.

Paula turned around and gave her a smile. "Spencer's good. She actually just recently submitted one of her documentaries in a film festival."

Ashley smiled proudly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. The film festival is actually next week." She reached in her purse and pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Ashley. "You should go."

Ashley unfolded it and saw that it was a flyer advertising the festival. "Um, I don't know."

"Well, if you decide to go, Spencer's film is going to be shown around 6:30. It was nice seeing you, Ashley." Paula was about to leave but then took a bottle of detergent off the shelf. "Here, it's the one I use." Ashley took the bottle and stared at it. "Take care of yourself." Paula gave her one last smile and then left.

Ashley unscrewed the cap and smelled it. Lavender and laundry detergent. She smiled and put the bottle in her cart. Paula Carlin wasn't that bad.

---

Spencer opened her fridge and frowned when she found it nearly empty. "Mom!" she called but got no answer. "Dad!" Still no answer. "What does a girl gotta do to get some food around here?" She reached for the house phone with the intention of calling take-out when the backdoor opened revealing her mom carrying an armload of groceries. "Oh thank, God!" she exclaimed and took some of the bags from her.

"What a greeting," Paula said putting down the other bags on the counter.

"I'm starving. You going to cook dinner soon?"

Paula shook her head at her daughter. "What do I look like to you?"

Spencer gave her a big smile. "The best mom in the world who's going to cook her very grateful daughter a fabulous meal?"

"Nice save. Help me put these away and then I'll cook your precious dinner." Spencer started unloading the bags and putting the groceries in their respective places. "So, guess who I ran into today at the store?"

"Oh, mom, seriously? Stop trying to set me up with the check out girl. I'm pretty sure she thinks that _you_ want to date her."

"She does not!" Paula protested. "But no, I'm not talking about Sophie."

"Then who?" Spencer asked distractedly while putting away cans of soup in a cupboard.

"Ashley."

Spencer stopped for a half a second. "Oh?" she said trying to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah, she was grocery shopping."

"Well, it is a grocery store, mom."

"Yeah I know." She looked at Spencer expecting a much bigger reaction. "She looks different," she continued but Spencer just kept on putting away the groceries. "A lot skinnier than I remembered and she was a little pale.

"Well, that's what you get when you party all the time," Spencer said dismissively. "Call me when dinner's ready." She started to leave the kitchen trying to push the image of Ashley out of her head. She didn't mean what she said but she didn't want to think of Ashley not eating properly or not getting a good night's sleep because of her job. Being angry was a lot easier than being sad.

"I invited her to the film festival," Paula said before Spencer could leave completely.

"What?" Spencer turned around and looked at her mother incredulously. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh come on, Spencer, don't you think you've punished her enough?"

Spencer held out her hands in shock. "Punishing her? Is that what you think I'm doing?" she asked angrily.

Paula immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Spence, that's not what I meant. I just hate seeing you so sad."

"Look mom," she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "What happened between me and Ashley is none of your business and I'm dealing with it the best way I know how to. I don't need you playing match maker."

"I'm sorry," Paula said sincerely. "I had no right to invite her. I guess I was hoping you two would work it out."

"Since when did you become Ashley's cheerleader?" Spencer asked curiously.

Paula shrugged her shoulders. "People change, Spencer," she said cryptically. "I'll call you when dinner's ready."

Spencer stood there for a few seconds before heading up to her room. It wasn't that she didn't want Ashley at the film festival but the documentary that she submitted inadvertently had to do with her. That's the reason she picked it. It was like she wanted Ashley see it but at the same time didn't. She did miss her. There was absolutely no denying that but she still needed time. People do change but has Ashley?

---

"Bills, bills, more bills," Paula said out loud while going through the mail. "Oh, Spencer, here's something for you." She handed Spencer an envelope.

Spencer took it and looked at the return address. Apparently it came from some theater downtown. Confused, she ripped it open and took out the contents. "Oh my God," she said holding two tickets.

"What is it?" Paula asked.

"Two balcony seat tickets to _The King and I_!" Spencer exclaimed. It was her absolute favorite musical play.

"What?" Paula took the tickets from her hands. "Spencer, these are extremely expensive. Where did you get the money to pay for these?"

"I didn't! I didn't buy them," Spencer said defensively.

"Then who did?"

"I don't kn-" Spencer stopped and looked in the envelope. She pulled out another sheet a paper, which looked to be the invoice. "Figures," she said when she saw the billing address. "People change my ass." Spencer took the tickets back from her mom, stuffed them back in the envelope, and made her way to the front door.

"Where are you going?" her mom called after her.

"To yell at someone!" she called back before leaving her house and getting into her mom's car.

Spencer parked the car and made her way into the record label building. She hadn't been there since she accompanied Ashley to her interview. She felt kind of strange.

"May I help you?" the receptionist asked once Spencer stood in front of her desk.

"Uh, yeah, can you tell me what floor Ashley Davies work on?"

"Do you have an appointment?"

Appointment? "No, I'm a friend of hers." Did she have to make an appointment to see Ashley? What was she, a doctor?

"Miss Davies works on the 20th floor. She's in a meeting right now but you're free to wait in her office," the receptionist informed her.

"Office?" Spencer said surprised. When did she get an office?

"Yes, the receptionist on the 20th floor can direct you there."

Spencer just nodded and then made her way to the elevators. The newfound information temporarily distracted her from the real reason she was there as she waited for the lift to take her to the 20th floor. The doors slid open and Spencer stepped out and went to find the other receptionist. With her new directions, Spencer made her way down a hall to Ashley's new office, her anger returning.

The door was ajar and she pushed it open revealing the room inside. It was definitely Ashley's office. Well at least, Spencer knew it was. There were subtle touches of Ashley everywhere. From the way the pillows were arrange on the couch to the things hanging on the walls. Ashley's desk only contained three things. A laptop, a phone, and a framed picture. Spencer walked over to it and picked up the frame. It was a picture of the two of them when Ashley was trying to teach her how to play the guitar. Spencer smiled as she stared at the picture. Nostalgia hit her ten-fold. She quickly put the picture back down when she heard voices approaching the office.

"Bob wants this song to be less poppy and little more rock and we still don't have music for this song," some girl was saying.

"Okay, well when does he need this by because I promised Stephanie I'll help her write her new song with her," Ashley stressed out voice said.

"Um, by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? No, not tomorrow. He'll get it when I'm finished with Stephanie's song."

"But-"

Ashley and some girl carrying a million papers entered the office and Ashley immediately stopped in her tracks when she saw Spencer causing the girl to run into her. "Spencer," she said surprised but her entire face lit up.

"Hey," she said then averted her eyes to the girl standing behind Ashley. She couldn't get in because Ashley was blocking the doorway.

"Ashley," the girl said a little peeved.

"What?" she took her eyes off Spencer and returned her attention back to the girl.

"Bob wants these by tomorrow," she repeated.

"Look, Joan, I told you I was going to work on Stephanie's song. So here," she took some of the papers from her. "Give these to Matt, and tell him to go acoustic. Trust me, it'll be fine. Goodbye now." She pushed her out and then closed the door.

"I hate you!" Joan yelled jokingly.

"Sorry about that," Ashley said smiling at Spencer. Spencer just stared at her trying to digest what just transpired before her. Her silence made Ashley a little nervous. "Um, what brings you by?" She went to her desk and put down some of the papers she was holding. She noticed that her picture was facing the wrong way and fixed it.

Spencer finally snapped out whatever daze she was in and handed Ashley the envelope she'd been holding the entire time. The reason she was here in the first place.

"What's this?" Ashley asked curiously taking the envelope and taking out what was inside.

"You tell me," Spencer said annoyed.

Ashley looked at the tickets and a look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh these."

"'Oh these?' That's all you have to say? What happened to giving me space and not trying to buy my affections, Ashley?"

"Spencer, wait-"

"You know how much those tickets cost?"

"It's not what you-"

"You think just because it's my favorite play that I was going to accept them?"

"Spencer!"

"What?"

Ashley put the tickets back in the envelope. "I bought these tickets months ago."

Spencer opened her mouth to yell at Ashley again but stopped. "You what?" she said confused.

"Yeah," Ashley said nervously and started pulling her ring on and off her finger. "It was that one time we were walking downtown and you saw a poster for it. You said that it was your favorite play," she said explaining. "You said how you've always wanted to see it on stage but you thought that the show was already sold out. So I called the theater the next day and it _was_ sold out but I pulled a few strings and managed to get two tickets."

Spencer looked completely contrite. "Oh."

Ashley gave her a little smile. "I wanted it to be a surprise so I put your mailing address. I didn't know that it would take this long for them to send it and I honestly forgot," Ashley finished.

"Oh," Spencer said again. She felt extremely bad for going off on Ashley the way she did. "I'm sorry."

Ashley shook her head. "Don't be."

"But I am. I'm sorry that I accused you of buying these tickets just to-"

"Spencer, you don't have to explain. I get it."

They stood there in an awkward silence before Spencer finally broke it and picked up the envelope. "Um, here. Take them."

Ashley bit her lip. "No, you take them. I got them for you and it's your favorite play."

"But you paid for them," Spencer protested trying to give her the envelope.

"Honestly, Spencer, I don't even know what it's about. I got them for you so you take them."

Spencer contemplated for a little while before putting it in her purse. "Thank you," she said looking her right in the eyes.

Ashley felt her heart skip a beat. She just realized this was the first time she's seen Spencer in a really long time and she almost forgot how blue her eyes were. "Um, no problem," she stammered.

"Well, I'm going to let you go back to work." Spencer turned around and started to leave the office but stopped. "When did you get an office?" she suddenly said.

Ashley gave her one of her nose-crinkling smile, which made Spencer's heart skip a beat. Ashley had the cutest smile. "Um, a few weeks ago. I got a little promotion."

Spencer felt her heart swell with pride. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," she said blushing.

Spencer smiled at her and then opened the door. "Um, I'll see you around. Goodbye, Ashley."

"Bye."

Spencer let out a long breath once she stepped back into the elevator. That visit didn't exactly go the way she planned. She had every intention of yelling at Ashley for pulling another one of her stunts but found out that Ashley did keep her word of giving her space. The elevator stopped on a floor to let more people in and Spencer recognized one of them as the girl from Ashley's office.

"Joan right?" Spencer said.

"Yes," Joan said looking at her confused.

"I'm sorry, I was the one waiting in Ashley's office."

"Oh, right. You're the girl in the picture."

"Yeah, that's me. Spencer," she said sticking out her hand.

"Nice to meet you. Ashley's one of the best songwriters we have."

Spencer smiled. "So, does she still work with David Alexander and Brianna Tenly?"

"Oh hell no," Joan said. "David got fired."

This surprised Spencer. "Really? What happened?"

"Well, the rumor was that he didn't like Ashley getting promoted after only a few months when he's been here over a year. Apparently, he got into a huge fight with Ashley saying all these horrible things like how she was only got ahead because she slept with Mr. Elwood. It was all really bad and he got fired."

Spencer felt her blood boil. How dare someone accuse Ashley of sleeping with someone to get promoted? Ashley got that job because she was talented. She never did like that ass. "Wow, what an ass."

"I know. Ashley's so talented. Granted, it's a bit frustrating to work with her but everything she writes is pure genius," Joan told her.

"Frustrating?"

"Not in like a bad way," she backtracked. "She doesn't like working on other people's time tables. She likes getting things done on her own time," Joan explained.

"Really?" Spencer found that kind of hard to believe.

"Yeah, she leaves when she wants to leave. No one can stop her." The elevator doors opened on the lobby floor and they both stepped out. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Spencer."

"You too." Spencer left the building with a million thoughts running through her head. From Ashley's promotion, to the firing of David, and to what Joan told her. Maybe her mom was right. Maybe people do change. And maybe Ashley was one of those people.

---


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter Fourteen_

Ashley was dying of boredom. She had a rare day off on the account of the building getting new carpet that just couldn't wait until the weekend. She was happy that she had some time off but that also meant she had to work extra hours the next day to make up for the loss time. Not to mention, Ashley had absolutely no idea to do with all this free time. She just realized that she didn't have any real friends that she didn't work with. And Ashley would hardly call her co-workers friends. They didn't hang out outside the studio and half of them annoyed the hell out of Ashley.

She sighed as she sat down on her couch flipping through channels. There was absolutely nothing on during the daytime except for soap operas. "What's going on in the world of Luke and Noah," she said out loud and changed the channel. She sat back as she watched her favorite couple talk about something completely outlandish on the television screen.

--_…If the police can't find enough evidence to arrest him, it's up to us. We have to do something._

--_That's what Casey thought and that's why he planted drugs on him. Did it work? No._

--_Well that's why this time, we do things a little differently. We don't plant drugs. We just look for them…_

"Oh Luke, you irrational, impulsive bastard."

Ashley was just getting into it when she heard an annoying dripping noise coming from the kitchen. "What the hell is that?" She got up and made her way to the kitchen and saw a huge puddle of water coming from the cabinet right under the sink. "Son of a bitch!" She opened the cabinet and found that the pipe was leaking and was soaking everything around it. She grabbed a dishtowel to wipe the water that was slowly spreading all over the kitchen and then reached for her phone.

"Hey Joe, it's Ashley…yeah I kind of have a little problem here…there's a leaky pipe in my kitchen sink and it's dripping everywhere, can you send someone up?…In two days?…no it's fine…thanks, Joe." She hung up and let out a frustrated groan. There was no way she could wait two days for someone to fix this pipe. By that time, her entire loft would be flooded.

Ashley moved the towel around with her foot but it was already too wet to absorb any more water. "Fine, I'll do this myself." She went into the storage closet and looked for the toolbox Kyla uses when she helps builds sets at the theater. "There you are," she said as she reached for the red box. She opened it and frowned. She had no idea what she needed to fix a water pipe. Ashley sighed and reached for a tool that looked like it could be useful. She went back under the sink and crouched down on her knees.

"This is a great plumber shot," she mumbled to herself and stuck her head under the sink. She must have looked so attractive with her ass sticking out in the air. Ashley put the tool (which she hoped was a wrench) on the nut of the leaky pipe and started turning. "Righty tighty, left loosey." She turned the wrench to the right but it barely moved. Ashley moved a little further into the cabinet to get a little more leverage and twisted the wrench again. This time it moved but she heard something snap and water started spraying everywhere. "Fuck!"

She desperately tried to turn the nut another way but the water kept on spraying. Someone chose to knock on the door that very moment and Ashley yelled, "Come in!" without giving it a second thought. She was hoping it was Joe with a plumber. Ashley reached blindly in the back when she felt a valve and turned it. The water stopped immediately and she wiped her face. She was absolutely soaked.

"This is a nice plumber shot," someone behind her said.

Ashley jumped and hit her head on the inside of the cabinet. She came out and was met with the smirking face of Spencer. "Spencer," she said blushing trying to get up. Her knees were a little sore and she probably looked like a drowned rat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to startle you," Spencer apologized but her voice was laced with amusement. Ashley looked so adorable standing there soaking wet holding a hand to the back of her head.

"No, it's okay," she reached for another towel and tried to dry herself off. "Um, what brings you by?" Twice in one week? Did she win the lottery?

Spencer scratched the side of her neck nervously. "What happened here?" she asked avoiding Ashley's question.

"Oh um," Ashley pointed to sink. "Leaky pipe, tried to fix it, failed miserably. I couldn't wait for the plumber," she babbled indicating the mess she created.

"Who knew you were such a handyman?" Spencer said smiling.

Ashley looked down feeling herself blush again. "Just call me Handy Ashley." She looked up and gave Spencer a little smile. "Um, so what's up?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "Um, I kind of have a favor to ask you," she started nervously.

Ashley looked at her surprised. "Oh?"

"Uh yeah, um," Spencer wrung her hands out nervously. She couldn't remember a time she was this flustered around Ashley. Maybe when they first started liking each other and she got all jittery when Ashley was around. "Are you doing anything next Thursday night?"

Ashley rubbed the back of her head where she hit it against the cabinet. "Thursday? Um, no not that I know of, why?" she asked curiously.

"Well, I still fell really bad about yelling at you about those tickets and-"

"Spencer, you don't have to explain-"

"I know, I just," Spencer stopped and stared at Ashley. She didn't realize how much she missed her until now. Dressed only in sweats, hair up in a messy ponytail, and soaked from trying to fix something she knew she couldn't fix. This was the Ashley she fell in love with.

Ashley started to get nervous by the way Spencer was staring at her. "What's the matter?" she asked looking around. Was her shirt see through now that it was wet?

"Nothing," Spencer said smiling. "Um, I was wondering since I have two tickets to the play, and there's only one of me, would you like to come with me?"

Ashley's entire face lit up when she smiled. "You want me to go to the play with you?"

"That's if you want to. I mean if you're busy or just don't want to go-"

"No, no, I'd love to go," she said assuring her. "Just took me by surprise."

"Yeah," Spencer said looking down. "Well, I haven't seen you in a while and you know…" she trailed off.

"I missed you, too," Ashley said reading her mind.

Spencer looked up and they both looked into each other eyes. Both girls felt their hearts beat a little faster. "So, how come you're not at work?" Spencer asked breaking the stare. "I went over there first but everything was locked up."

"We're getting new carpet so we have the day off," Ashley explained. "How come you're not in class?"

"I'm actually on my way over there."

"Oh." Ashley tried not to sound too disappointed. She was hoping that Spencer would stick around a little longer.

"Well, I should get going. I'll see you next Thursday?"

"Yes," she started walking her to the door. "So, do you want to meet at the theater or you want to come over here?"

Spencer smiled. "How about you pick me up at my house?"

Ashley's eyes widened in surprise. "Okay, um, what time?" It sounded almost like a date.

"Around 6:30? The play starts at 7."

"Okay." That sounded good but then something came to her mind. "Wait," she suddenly said.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked confused.

"Well, I get off at five but sometimes I have to stay a little late…" she trailed off when she saw the disappointed looked that fell on Spencer's face. "I can leave early," she told her reassuringly. "I won't be late I promise."

Spencer gave her a small smile. "Okay, then. I'll see you next week. Goodbye, Ashley." She left the loft with the hopes that Ashley could keep her promise. One step at a time.

---

"You think my documentary is stupid?" Spencer asked Lonnie.

"Oh my God, Spencer, for the millionth time, NO!" They were sitting in a coffee shop after class and Spencer was getting on Lonnie's last nerve.

"Are you sure? I mean how many documentaries do you see with the topic I picked?" She sipped her coffee and looked at Lonnie expectantly.

"Not that many, which is why it's unique," Lonnie said exasperated.

"Yeah, but it's not that unique. I mean it's kind of boring. Like a random episode of True Life or something."

Lonnie rolled her eyes. "Stop it, Spencer. It's a good documentary and people can relate to it. I mean I can relate to it, you can relate to it, and that guy over there," she pointed to some guy. "Can probably relate to it."

Spencer laughed. "Isn't that your brother?"

"Yes, and that's why he can relate to it!"

Spencer shook her head and started thinking. "Ashley might be there," she said.

Lonnie widened her eyes. "Really? Isn't that going to be a little weird considering…"

"Yeah, I know but my mom invited her and it's not like I can tell her not to go."

"True. How are things with her?"

Spencer smiled. "Good, I guess. I mean she actually listened to me and then I freaked out on her. I asked her to go to the play with me actually."

"Really?" Lonnie raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah." Spencer scratched her head. "I mean, like I said, she actually gave me the space that I wanted and she's different. I can see that." Spencer smiled just thinking of Ashley. "And I really miss her. I mean she was more than just my girlfriend, she's my best friend first and foremost. I don't ever want to lose that, you know?"

Lonnie nodded understanding. "I know. But I don't want you to rush back into things."

"I won't," Spencer said with conviction. "Our relationship is so fragile right now, the last thing I want to do is mess it up by getting back into something that we're both not ready for."

"Does she know that?"

Spencer bit her lip. "I hope so."

---

"So you're going on a date with Spencer tonight?"

"It's not a date, Kyla," Ashley said exasperated over the phone. She was looking in her closet for something to wear. What the hell was she suppose to wear to _The King and I_?

"Whatever, I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

Ashley sighed. "I'm not. Spencer wanted time and I'm giving her that. There is no way I'm messing that up by trying anything. I mean I'm just glad she even asked me to go." She knew she shouldn't have told Kyla. She managed to avoid the conversation the entire week but Kyla got curious on why Ashley stopped talking about Spencer so she finally told her. "Anyways, um, how are things over there?"

"My grandma's one tough cookie," Kyla said proudly. "I mean, the doctor said they said she had at least one more week to live when I got here and it's been over a month. She's been in the same state. She hasn't gotten better but she hasn't gotten worse."

"Wow," Ashley said astonished. "Well, I hope she gets better. I know I sound like a total selfish bitch, but I really want you to come home."

"Yeah, I know. I miss home, too."

"Well, I should go get ready for-"

"Your date?"

"Bye, Kyla." She hung up the phone before she could say anymore. Ashley stared into her closet still with no clue on what to wear. "Oh for fuck's sake, Ashley," she scolded herself and pulled out a simple black dress.

A half hour later, Ashley was driving to Spencer's house. She was a bundle of nerves as she pulled up to the driveway. "Okay," she said stopping the engine and taking a deep breath. She left her car and walked anxiously to the front door and rang the doorbell. A moment later, the door opened and Paula smiled down at her.

"Ashley," she said cheerfully.

"Hi," Ashley said swallowing.

"Come on in," she ushered her inside the foyer and shut the door. Ashley fidgeted nervously. She hadn't been in the Carlin home in so long but everything felt so familiar. "You look absolutely gorgeous," Paula said.

"Thank you," she said blushing. She looked up the staircase. Where was Spencer?

"Spencer will be down in just a few minutes. Why don't you have a seat?" Paula led Ashley into the living room and she sat down on the couch.

"Um, where's Mr. C?" she asked trying to make some conversation.

"He and Glen are picking up some dinner. How have you been?"

Before she could answer, Spencer walked into the living room looking absolutely breathing taking, that Ashley actually felt the air leave her lungs. She was wearing a simple white dress and her hair framed her face perfectly. "Hey," she said locking eyes with Ashley.

"Hi," she whispered back. Was she drooling? She felt like she was drooling.

Spencer blushed as Ashley continued to stare at her. "We should go," she said.

Ashley snapped out of her gaze and started to walk towards the door. "Yeah, okay, let's go," she said fumbling.

"Bye mom," Spencer said following Ashley.

"Have fun," Paula said suggestively and got a glare from her daughter.

Ashley opened the door for her and they walked towards Ashley's car. Spencer opened the passenger side but stopped when she saw 3 long-stemmed yellow roses on the leather seat. "Ashley…" she started.

"The florist said yellow meant friendship," Ashley quickly said. She was praying that Spencer wouldn't be mad.

Spencer took the flowers and held them. "Thank you. Why three?" She was so used to Ashley's dozens of flowers.

"One for the past, one for the present, and one for the future," she said the last part quietly.

Spencer smiled at her and got into the car. "You were always such a cheeseball," she said jokingly.

Ashley laughed. "Yeah, well cheeseballs are cool!" she said lamely and put the car into drive. The radio turned on when she turned the key and some pop song came from the speakers.

"What are you listening to?" Spencer asked amused. She knew Ashley wouldn't voluntarily listen to pop music unless she was controlling the radio.

"Oh, it's um, Brianna's debut CD. It's getting released next month and I got an advanced copy. I wanted to hear how it turned out," she explained while giving Spencer the CD case.

Spencer took the jacket out and started reading the song list. "You're in here," she told her.

"Really?" Ashley said surprised. She didn't have the time to read the jacket yet.

"Yeah, your name is under some of these songs. And Brianna gave you a shootout in her thank you's," Spencer said and started reading some of it out loud. "'I want to also thank the talented Ashley Davies and David Alexander for all their hard work.' I heard about David," Spencer told her.

Ashley momentarily took her eyes off the road and looked over at Spencer. "Yeah, apparently he wasn't exactly the person I thought he was."

"Did he really accuse you of that?" Spencer asked.

"Oh yeah. Among other things, but he got what he deserved," Ashley said smirking.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked curiously. She knew that smirk.

"Well, I ran into him again shortly after he got fired in the parking lot. And let's just say that I don't think he's going to have kids anytime soon." She grinned evilly.

"Ashley!" Spencer chastised.

"What? He was pissing me off."

Spencer shook her head in amusement. "You're too much sometimes, Davies," she said automatically.

Ashley swallowed, wanting to desperately respond to that comment. "And you love me, Carlin," she said so quietly that she thought Spencer couldn't hear her through the radio.

Spencer did hear though. She smiled as she stared out the window watching the streets pass her by. "That I do," she answered back just as quietly.

---


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter Fifteen_

Ashley was having a difficult time concentrating on whatever was going on in the play because all her attention was on the beautiful girl sitting right next to her. Spencer wasn't kidding when she said that this was her favorite musical. She mouthed the lines with the actors and quietly sang along with the songs. Ashley found it completely adorable that it took all strength not kiss her right then and there.

"This is my favorite song," Spencer whispered to her and excitedly poked Ashley's arm. That was another thing that Ashley was paying attention to. When they sat down, she immediately put her arm on the armrest and Spencer did the same. Their arms have been lightly touching each other the entire time and all Ashley wanted to do was grab Spencer's hand.

If it wasn't for Spencer, Ashley was sure she would've fallen asleep the second the play started. She never did understand Spencer's taste for "classic" things. Wasn't _The King and I_ also a really old movie? Ashley didn't care at the moment. All she cared about was how in love she was with Spencer.

"So, how'd you like the play?" Spencer asked her once it was over. The balcony seats were amazing. She saw almost everything from up there.

"It was good," Ashley said, trying to sound sincere.

Spencer gave her a look. "You were bored out of you mind, weren't you?"

"No," Ashley denied but her face gave her away. "Okay, I was a little bored but I'm not a big fan of musicals." They made their way into the lobby and tried to push their way through the massive crowd. She almost grabbed Spencer's hand but stopped herself.

"You like _RENT_ and _Wicked_," Spencer pointed out. She tried to keep as close to Ashley as she could. She never knew that the theater crowd was so pushy.

"Those are current," Ashley said. "They're fun and from this generation."

Spencer shook her head in amusement. "You have no taste for the classics."

"I do too," she defended. "Just not for musicals."

"Well, thanks for coming with me," Spencer said softly.

Ashley gave her a shy little smile. "No problem." They stood there for a moment before someone got impatient and pushed his way pass Spencer. He knocked her over and she landed right on Ashley. "Whoa, are you okay?" she asked catching her.

"Yeah," Spencer said shakily. Her entire body felt like it was on fire from the way Ashley was holding her. It was first time they've been this physically close in a very long time.

"Um." Ashley gently took her hands off Spencer. "Hey, jackass!" she called to the guy who ran into Spencer. "Watch where you're going." The guy looked like he was about to open his mouth but the look Ashley was giving him made him stop and he gave her an apologetic look before disappearing in the crowd. "Asshole," she muttered under her breath before turning back to Spencer. She was giving her a funny look. "What?" she said suddenly insecure.

"Nothing," Spencer said smiling. She absolutely loved when Ashley got protective. One of the many things that made her feel all fuzzy inside.

Ashley looked down shyly. "Um, we should get you home. I don't want you to be late for your class tomorrow."

Spencer tilted her head. "How do you know that I have an early class tomorrow?"

Ashley avoided her gaze as they made their way to the theater parking lot. "Um, well I memorized your schedule a while back. You always have an early class on Fridays and then get out early."

Spencer smiled at her. "You memorized my schedule?" She never knew that. She just thought Ashley knew when to pick her up because she would remind her that day.

"Well, yeah," Ashley said matter of factly. "I liked knowing where you were during the day." Ashley nearly slapped herself on the forehead. If that didn't sound stalkery, she didn't know what did.

"That's sweet," Spencer said and opened the passenger door when they got to Ashley's car. "It still didn't stop you from texting me during class though." She gave her a little smirk.

Ashley laughed as she got in the car. "I did that on purpose. It was fun to distract you while you were trying to work."

"Uh huh, you just couldn't go through an hour without talking to me," Spencer said without thinking. Was that an appropriate thing to say?

"Can't deny the truth," Ashley said while putting the car into drive.

They drove the rest of the way bantering back and forth. Everything felt comfortable and not once did an awkward moment pass between them. Ashley finally pulled up to the Carlin driveway and turned off the car. That's when things got a little tense.

Spencer looked around not really knowing what to do. It was like they just reached the end of their date and it was at the point where neither of them knew what the next step was.

"I had a really good time tonight," Spencer said. That was a safe thing to say.

"Me too, thanks for inviting me." Ashley started to play with her ring again, removing it and then putting it back on. She turned to Spencer and gave her a little smile. "Um, your mom invited me to the film festival on Saturday," she told her nervously.

"Yeah, I know she told me."

"If you don't want me to go-"

"No, no, I don't not want you to go, Ashley," Spencer told her reassuringly.

Ashley smiled. "Thanks. Um, what's your documentary about?"

Spencer looked down. "It's actually an old one of mine. I just tweaked it a little."

"Really? Which one?"

"Um," Spencer looked up at Ashley's curious face. She wasn't sure if she should tell her. "I guess you'll just have to come and find out," she said smiling.

Ashley smiled back. "I guess I will."

"I know film festivals aren't really your thing, but there's going to be a lot of good food and I think this local indie band will be playing. You might like them," Spencer told her.

"Don't worry. The food and band won't be the reason I'll be going." She gave her a big smile, which made Spencer's face blush, and her heart to beat twice as fast.

"Um, okay, well um, I'll see you Saturday then."

"Saturday," Ashley repeated. "Goodnight, Spencer."

"Goodnight, Ashley." Spencer took her three roses and then left the car. Ashley watched her until she went inside her house.

"Goodnight, indeed." Ashley drove home with the biggest smile on her face. Things were definitely looking up.

---

"Why are there so many people here?" Spencer said out loud while looking around.

"It's a film festival, Spencer. What do you expect?" Glen asked her. He was holding two platefuls of food.

"Not this many people." She grabbed one of his plates and handed it to her dad. "Stop eating all the food, Glen."

"Hey! It's free, I can eat whatever I want." He took the plate back from Arthur.

"What are you so worried about, honey?" he asked with concern.

"That everyone is going to think my documentary sucks and throw things at the screen?" Spencer said looking around distractedly. She was looking for one particular person.

"Spencer, your documentary doesn't suck," Paula assured her. "Are you worried about what Ashley might think of it?"

Spencer snapped her gaze back to her mom. "What? No," she lied. "I'm not worried at all." She looked around again. "I'm going to go find Lonnie. I'll see you guys later." She left her family and went to go look for her friend. Maybe having Ashley here wasn't the greatest idea. What if Ashley thought she was personally attacking her with this documentary? "Lonnie!" she exclaimed finding her friend.

"Hey, Spencer, can you believe how many people turned up this year?"

"No!" she shrieked. "Why are there so many people here?"

Lonnie shrugged. "Maybe because they were excited to see a new person submit a film? People were really sick of Patrick Rake's documentaries of skating in the 70's. Every year, Spencer," she said shaking her head.

Spencer wrung out her hands. She had no idea what the hell Lonnie was talking about because she just saw Ashley. "Maybe I shouldn't show my film," Spencer said suddenly.

"Too late for that, Spence," Lonnie said. "Stop freaking out." She gave her a reassuring pat on her back when she saw Ashley making her way towards them. "I'll see you later." Lonnie gave her a wink before disappearing off somewhere.

"Hey," Ashley said once Lonnie left.

"You came," Spencer said smiling.

"I said I would," Ashley said also smiling but then remembered Lonnie. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation with that girl."

Spencer gave her a look. "Lonnie? You weren't interrupting anything."

"Oh, well she abruptly left when she saw me," Ashley said dismissively.

"Ash," Spencer said looking her in the eyes. "She's just a friend."

A look of relief crossed Ashley's face. "Oh, well. Um, I mean it's not like I was, um," she stammered. "You excited about your film?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Nervous is more like it."

"I bet it's going to be great," she said trying her best to calm Spencer's nerves. "It'll probably be the best one tonight. I was looking at the program and the other films don't sound too interesting." She held up the program she was just referring to. "How come yours doesn't have a summary?"

"Oh, I forgot to submit one," Spencer explained. "Plus, it makes me look all mysterious."

Ashley laughed. "Well, the title is pretty mysterious. 'Second Best'? What's second best?"

Spencer was about to answer when the curator of the festival came up to them. "Spencer, your film's next."

"Okay, thanks." Spencer's nerves came back tenfold. "Um, I should go and see if everything's good to go. I'll see you later?"

Ashley smiled. "Definitely."

A few minutes later, Spencer was standing in front of the small theater looking out into the audience. She could see her family somewhere in the middle and Lonnie giving her a thumbs up from the corner. Her eyes traveled through the sea of people until she locked eyes with Ashley. She was somewhere sitting in the back and she gave her a smile.

"Ready to start," the curator said, handing her a mic.

"Hey, everyone. I don't really know what to say about my film other than the fact that I hope some of you can relate to it and that you enjoy it." She swallowed. "I got the inspiration for this documentary from a friend," Spencer looked straight at Ashley. "Some people don't really understand what it's like to have someone you love choose a job profession over them, but it does have some dire effects. Kids with workaholic parents sometimes feel they're not loved and often develop behavioral or relationship issues. Spouses feel that they're not wanted and sometimes feel like they're always just second best. It's really hard."

Ashley felt her heart lurch. Was this about her?

"So without further ado, here's my film." She handed the mic back to the curator and took a seat.

The film started rolling and Spencer took a deep breath. Random footages of families flashed across the screen including some of Spencer's family. Then after the montage, Ashley's face came into focus.

Ashley furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at herself on the big screen. She remembered filming this for Spencer a while ago.

_"So your father was the famous Raife 'Danger' Davies?" Spencer's voice said._

_Ashley smiled into the camera. "Yup that was him. Rock star galore."_

_"Was it hard being the daughter of such a rock legend?"_

_"Yeah, I guess." Ashley fidgeted with her ring. "It gets tiresome when people ask you about him or want to be friends with you just because my dad was 'famous.' His band wasn't even that big," she said a little annoyed. "Everyone said they were just a Bon Jovi knock off."_

Ashley's bitterness could be felt throughout the entire theater.

_"Was that the only thing that bothered you?"_

_"No," Ashley said quietly._

The camera shook a little.

_"He wasn't exactly father of the year. He had never once remembered any of my birthdays, didn't attend any of my school talent shows, and was pretty much a no show my entire life." Ashley finally took off her ring and squeezed it in her hand. "Parents are supposed to be there for their kids you know? How else are we supposed to grow up not fucked up?"_

_"Do you feel like you turned out okay?"_

_Ashley scoffed. "Come on, Spence, you know me."_

_Spencer laughed. "That's true, but this is for my documentary. Care to elaborate?"_

_"Well, I have had my issues, no doubt about that. Sometimes I wonder what would it be like if I had two stable parents. Or one. I mean Kyla turned out semi-okay because she didn't have our father in the picture. She didn't have expectations."_

_"Did you?"_

_"Of course I did. He was my dad," she said sadly._

_"Do you resent him?"_

_Ashley bit her lip and stared at the ring in her hand. "Sometimes. I mean, he said he loved me and that I always came first to him, but if I was so important, why couldn't he be there?"_

_"Do you think he loved his job more than you?"_

_"Sometimes." She looked straight at the camera. "I know this sounds horrible, but sometimes I don't feel like he's really gone. Like I know he's dead but it just feels like he's still on tour." Ashley continued to stare at the ring. "I don't ever want to be like him," she said with conviction. "To choose a job over your own family? Over the people you claim to love? I'd never do that…"_

The interview ended and the film progressed with more interviews and more montages of people in similar situations. Spencer even interviewed the workaholic father of a boy who killed himself because he blamed himself for his parents' divorce.

Ashley sat there trying to digest what she just saw. She couldn't believe that she was the world's biggest hypocrite. All those times she got mad at her dad because he was too busy to go to the movies with her or yelled at her when she would call him at work, she did the same exact thing to Spencer.

The film ended and everyone started clapping. Spencer looked around and saw a few people wiping their eyes.

"That was amazing film, Spencer. I know exactly how that feels," someone told her.

"Thank you," she said smiling.

A few more people came up to her telling her how great her film was and even some parents told her that they were going to change their work ethics. Spencer was overwhelmed. She had no idea her film would generate this much buzz.

She looked around and spotted her family.

"Wow, Spencer, way to make everyone cry," Glen told her.

"Shut up." She turned to her parents. "Did you guys like it?" she asked carefully. She put in clips of her dad saying how hard it was when Paula used to work those long hours at the hospital.

"It was beautiful, Spencer," her dad said.

"A real eye-opener," Paula added. She gave her a hug.

"Thanks." Spencer looked around trying to find Ashley.

"She left when the film ended," Paula told her. "She might still be around."

Spencer bit her lip. Was Ashley upset? "I'm going to go look for her." Spencer left her family and went to search for Ashley. She found her sitting on a bench away from the crowd, and playing with her ring again.

"Hey," she said quietly and approached her.

Ashley looked up and quickly wiped the stray tears she had in her eyes. "Hey you." She tried to sound cheerful.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked and sat down next to her.

"I'm fine. Um, I really liked your film." She looked down and twirled the ring again.

Spencer tried to look at her face. "You don't seem fine."

Ashley looked up and smiled at her. "I am. It's just I feel a little weird after watching that," she explained.

"I didn't mean to-"

"No, Spencer, you don't have to explain anything. I'm actually really glad that I saw that."

"You are?"

"Yes, because it just helps me understand better. You know with everything that happened with us? I'm just sorry that I was too stupid to realize it." Ashley gave her a sad smile. "You were never second best, Spencer. I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

Spencer bit her lip. "I knew you loved me, Ashley."

"Love you," she corrected. "I'll always love you."

Spencer didn't know what else to say so they just sat there. Ashley was still playing with her ring. "You know he had this made for me," Ashley said suddenly.

"What?"

"This ring," she took it off and showed Spencer. All the time she's known her, Spencer never knew what that ring meant. Ashley never told her. "My dad had this made for me when I was really young."

"Really?"

"No one knows about this but his first Grammy? That's not the real one. He had the real one melted and molded into this ring." Ashley placed the ring in Spencer's hand. "It's not all gold but it means the world to me."

Spencer stared at the ring. It was a little tarnished and a bent a little but she could clearly see an inscription on the inside of the band. "'My Number One'?"

Ashley smiled. "He told me I was never second best."

She handed the ring back to Ashley. "Did you believe him?"

Ashley placed the ring back on her finger. "Yes," she stood up. "I hope one day you'll believe me, too."

---


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter Sixteen_

Ashley felt exhausted when she got home after the film festival. It wasn't that she was physically tired but rather mentally and emotionally. Spencer's film kept on running through her mind as she threw herself down on her bed. She felt like crap. Hearing herself say those words was like a slap in the face. A slap that she desperately needed. How she managed to become her father was beyond her. Ashley guessed she tried so hard not to be her mother that she easily just fell into her father's footsteps.

She sighed as she looked at the empty space beside her. The side where Spencer usually slept when she would spend the night seemed colder now than it did ever. Ashley ran her arm up and down the space and grabbed the pillow, bringing it to her chest. Thanks to her new laundry detergent, the pillow smelled exactly like Spencer. It was like if she had never left. Ashley missed Spencer more now than she ever did. She wanted her back in her arms. She wanted to hold her and kiss and tell her she loved her. She wanted to be the person that Spencer fell in love with.

Ashley was too tired to change and just waited for sleep to claim her when her phone rang. She glanced at the ID to see Kyla calling her and took a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Kyla's sad voice came through.

Ashley sat up. "Kyla?"

"She's gone," she breathed through the phone. "It just happened a few minutes ago."

"I'm sorry," Ashley said. She didn't know what to say.

"Thank you, but we knew it was going to happen." Kyla took a deep breath. "Um, the funeral is in a few days and I'm going to stay a few more just to make sure everything's good. So, I'll be back sometime next week, okay?"

"You do what you have to do, Kyla."

"Thanks, okay, I have to go now. I'll see you soon, Ashley."

"Soon. Bye, Kyla."

"Bye."

Ashley hung up and ran a hand over her face. She stared at her phone for a few moments before flipping it open again. Pressing 2, she sat back and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sorry am I bothering you?" Ashley asked nervously. She hadn't called Spencer in a really long time.

"No, not at all. What's up?" Spencer was surprised that Ashley called. She left so abruptly at the festival that Spencer wasn't sure when she'd see or talk to Ashley again.

"Kyla just called, her grandma just died."

"Oh wow, is she doing okay?"

"She's fine. I mean it wasn't a complete shock you know?"

"Yeah, so how are you?" Spencer asked carefully.

"Me?" Ashley let out a sigh and put her head down on the pillow. "I'm okay. It's been a little emotional roller coaster today."

"Look, Ash, about the film. I didn't make it to upset you," she explained.

"Spencer, I'm okay. And I know you didn't. I know I'm full of myself but I know that wasn't a personal stab at me," she joked.

Spencer let out a little laugh. "You are pretty full of yourself."

Ashley smiled. "I'd like to argue with you about this but it's the truth." She could hear Spencer chuckle and her heart did that familiar lurch. "So, what are you doing?"

"Watching TV before Glen gets back from work and hijacks it. There's a basketball game on tonight and I know he's going to kill me for the remote."

"Kick him in the nuts," Ashley said nonchalantly.

Spencer laughed again. "Sounds like a plan."

They talked a little more about everything and nothing. At one point during their conversation, Spencer had made her way to her room and was now lying in her bed, the phone pressed to her ear.

"Oh, wow, it's nearly midnight," Spencer said looking at her clock radio.

"Really?" Ashley also looked at her clock. "Sorry, I didn't mean to keep this long."

"No worries. It was nice." Spencer bit her lip. "I still love talking to you, Ashley."

"I love talking to you, too. But I know you have church tomorrow and I don't want Paula yelling at you when you fall asleep during mass," she told her smiling.

"Thanks. Okay, well I guess I'll talk to you later?"

"Definitely. Goodnight, Spence."

"Goodnight, Ashley." She waited for Ashley to hang up first and smiled when she didn't. "You didn't hang up."

"Was waiting for you," she countered, her voice filled with humor.

"Hey, Ashley?" she said nervously.

"Yes, Spencer?"

"You want to take me to brunch after church?"

Ashley's heart nearly burst out of her chest. "I'd love to. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. I'm hanging up now."

"Okay." Ashley heard a click and then closed her phone. "I love you," she said into her dark room and then went to sleep.

---

Spencer smoothed down her white skirt all during mass. She had no idea what was the hell the priest was going on about and Spencer could hardly care that her mother was sending her glares. She couldn't stop fidgeting. She was too nervous about brunch with Ashley. It wasn't like they never done this before. They used to do this all the time when they were going out. But that was then, this is now. Now when everything is still all fragile and one wrong move could ruin their relationship forever. Spencer still didn't know if she could be with Ashley. Sure she's changed since their break up but will that remain the same if they get back together? Did she want to get back together with Ashley?

All Spencer knew was that she missed Ashley like crazy. She sometimes felt very cold at night and could never get warm no matter how many blankets she had. And sometimes she felt hollow. Like there was something missing inside. The mass finally ended and Spencer practically ran out of the church. She searched the parking lot when she saw a familiar black Porsche waiting. Spencer smiled as she made her way to the car.

Ashley got out of the car to greet Spencer and had to bite her tongue from saying a very inappropriate comment on her outfit. She couldn't help it that it drove her absolutely crazy when Spencer wore her church clothes. Ashley always wanted to do very not so G-rated things.

"Hey, ready to go?" Ashley was thankful that she was wearing her sunglasses so Spencer couldn't see her perving over her blue long-sleeved, v-neck shirt and her knee-length plain white skirt.

"Yeah, let me just go tell my parents." Spencer turned around to find her family but they were already making their way over to Spencer and Ashley.

"Ashley, it's nice to see you," Arthur said.

"You too, Mr. C." Ashley smiled politely. The only person who didn't seem so happy to see her was Glen who was sending her a glare of all glares.

"You two heading out for brunch?" Paula asked cheerfully.

"Yes, mom. So we're going to go now," Spencer said trying to shoo away her family.

"We'll see you two later." Paula and Arthur started walking to their car and Glen was left standing there scuffing his shoe in the pavement.

"Hey Davies," he called before Ashley and Spencer could get in the car.

Ashley looked to Spencer who shrugged her shoulders and then to Glen. "Yeah?"

"I've got a favor to ask you." Ashley could tell that he was having a hard time getting out his words.

"Yes?" she said patiently. She didn't want to start something in front of Spencer.

"So, Kyla's coming back on Saturday," he started.

"Yes, I know Glen. She is my sister." She tried to hold back her sarcasm but it was hard since she knew that Glen hated her.

"Yeah, sorry." He put his hands in his pockets. "Well, I was thinking we could throw her a welcome home party. You know invite some of her theater friends and what not."

Ashley gave him a little coy smile. "Yeah, that sounds good. We can have it at the loft."

Spencer watched their little exchange with much amusement. She knew that it was probably killing Glen to be civil towards Ashley but he was doing it for Kyla.

"That sounds good. Also, um if you don't mind, I'd like to pick her up from the airport." Ashley raised her eyebrow and Glen blushed. "You know, so you can plan the party at the loft and I'll bring her back there," he said all this very fast.

"Yeah, sure. I can plan the party so you can spend alone time with my little sister," Ashley said teasing him. Spencer bit her lip trying not to laugh.

"Whoa, wait, it's not like that," Glen said nervously.

"Glen, it's okay," Ashley assured him. "I know you two are like a thing or whatever."

"You do?"

"Yes, Glen. You keep forgetting that I talk to her too."

"Right, yeah. Okay, I'll let you guys go then." He turned around and started walking back to the Carlin car.

"That was strange," Spencer said as she got in the passenger side.

Ashley let out a little laugh. "Not really. Kyla's been going on and on about him. I knew that it was a matter of time before they got together. I mean, it sucks that she had to spend a majority of their official boyfriend/girlfriend time half way across the world." She put the car into drive and started driving towards their favorite diner. "So, you want to help me with this party?"

Spencer gave her a look. "You mean you want me to do it all while you sit there and eat all the party food?"

"Hey! That was one time," Ashley defended. "And you insisted I stayed out of the way."

Spencer shook her head in amusement and turned on the radio. "Whatever, Ashley."

Ashley smiled and put the top down on the car. "Ugh, Spencer, change the station please." Some obnoxious pop song was blaring from her stereo.

"No," she said stubbornly and put her hair up in a ponytail. "I thought you could tolerate pop music."

"Only when I write it," Ashley pointed out. "Not when some nasally brats are singing it." Spencer grinned and put the radio on louder.

"Alright, we have some new music from a new artist," the DJ said once the previous song was over. "Here's 'Ocean Blue' by Brianna Tenly."

Ashley nearly crashed into the car in front of her when she heard the song that started playing. "This is my song!" she exclaimed.

"Really?" Spencer said excitedly and put the radio on even louder.

"Yes! I didn't know that they were going to use my song as the first single." Ashley was practically bouncing in her seat. She didn't even care that they were already at the diner and just parked the car without bothering to get out.

Spencer smiled at Ashley's infectious happiness and continued to listen to the song. "Ocean Blue?" Spencer suddenly blurted out.

Ashley took her attention away from the song and turned to face Spencer. "Yeah, um, that was the song I wrote for you on our anniversary," she said nervously.

"And you gave it to the label?"

Ashley looked down. She honestly didn't think that they were going to use it as the first single but Lucas really liked it so she just gave it to them. "Yeah, I'm sorry. That was really stupid."

"No, no, it wasn't. I like that there's a song about me on the radio," Spencer said smiling.

"Really?"

"Yes." She gave her a big smile, which caused Ashley to blush.

"Um, okay. Let's go eat." If Spencer didn't stop looking at her like that, she was going to do something really stupid like kiss her right then and there.

They talked about Kyla's party during brunch and tried to figure out who to invite. It actually was really difficult since neither of the girls really knew any of Kyla's friends. They got as far as putting down their names and Glen's on a napkin before they stopped.

"Who the hell are Kyla's friends?" Ashley pondered out loud.

Spencer scratched her head as she sipped on the strawberry milkshake that Ashley got for her. "Um, there's that one guy with the blonde hair," she pointed out.

Ashley couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, guy with blonde hair, got it." She put that down on the napkin.

"I think his name was Billy."

Ashley wrote that down. "Anyone else?" Before Spencer could answer, Ashley's phone rang. "Sorry," she apologized and answered her phone. "Hello?…yeah, I heard it…thank you…what?" She gave Spencer a look.

Spencer sighed. She knew that look.

"Now?…I'm busy right now…but…fine…I'll be there in a few minutes." She hung up and gave Spencer a little apologetic smile. "Um, I have to head down to the studio."

"It's okay," she said dismissively. "Can you drop me off home before you go over there?"

"Want to come with me?" Ashley blurted out.

"To the studio?"

"Yeah, I mean you can pull me away if I'm there too long. And plus, I want to spend more time with you," she said quietly.

Spencer thought about it for a second. "Sure," she said smiling. "But if I get bored, I'm going to drag you out by your hair."

"Deal." Ashley got up and threw some cash on the table before holding her hand out to Spencer.

Spencer took it without thinking and pulled herself out of the booth. They were standing really close now that Ashley could feel Spencer's breath on her face. She almost leaned in for a kiss but stopped herself and dropped Spencer's hand. "Sorry," she muttered.

"Don't be," Spencer whispered looking her in the eyes. She lifted her hand and brushed some of Ashley's hair that fell over her face. Her eyes looked down on Ashley's lips.

Ashley could feel Spencer getting closer. All she had to do was lean forward and their lips would be touching. "Spence," she breathed out. She leaned in but was interrupted by her ringing cell phone. Ashley closed her eyes frustrated and brought her phone to her ear. "What?…I said I'll be there." She hung up the phone and look back to Spencer.

"Guess we should go?"

"Yeah I guess we should."

Spencer turned around and headed outside, thoughts of killing whoever called Ashley running through her head. Because damnit, she wanted to kiss Ashley. And she was positive Ashley wanted to kiss her too. That thought put a smile on Spencer's face as she and Ashley drove to the label. Things were definitely looking up.

---


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter Seventeen_

Spencer watched on in amusement as Glen ran around the house looking for God only knows what. It seemed like he was going in every room in the house including the garage.

"Mom!" he yelled. "Have you seen my polo?"

"Polo?" Spencer said out loud but Glen wasn't paying attention.

"In the laundry room!" Paula called back.

"Thanks." He ran pass Spencer who was leaving the living room to try to find out what Glen was doing. "What the hell are you doing here?" he screamed when he almost ran into her.

Spencer raised her eyebrows. "Um, I live here?"

Glen scratched his head frustrated and Spencer had to laugh at his current appearance. He face was covered in shaving cream, wearing two different kinds of socks, his white beater was on inside out and his jeans were wrinkly. "Aren't you supposed to be at the loft with Ashley, doing stuff?"

Spencer had to stop herself from laughing at Glen's accidental euphemism. "Glen, Kyla's plane doesn't arrive for another four hours. We have plenty of time to set up for the party," she told him slowly.

"I have to stop by work first and I have to drop you off at the loft before then. Is dad done cooking the food yet?" he asked while making his way to the kitchen. Trays of food were stacked on the kitchen table and Arthur was mixing something in a pot.

"Hey, almost done here guys," he told them.

"Thank God!" Glen exclaimed. "Here," he took a stack of trays and gave them to Spencer.

"Glen!" she protested as the heavy trays fell into her hands.

"Put them in the car. I have to get finished getting ready." He rushed out of the kitchen and headed back upstairs.

Spencer shook her head and set the trays back down on the table. "I don't know what part of four hours he didn't understand," she told her father.

Arthur chuckled and held out a spoon to Spencer. "Here, taste this."

Spencer licked the spoon that was being offered to her. "Wow, dad, you really outdid yourself there."

"Thank you," he said bowing. "So you heading to Ashley's now?"

"According to Glen, yeah."

"How are things between you two?" He turned off the stove and wiped his hands on a dishtowel.

"Things have been good," Spencer told him smiling.

Things have been good. The past week, Spencer and Ashley have seen each other almost everyday. Granted, some of those times were very short because both girls were busy with work and school but Ashley always insisted on picking her up from class. She had to literally drive back to work right afterwards but the ten minutes that it took to get from campus to Spencer's house made both Spencer and Ashley very happy.

Spencer would sometimes visit Ashley at work also. Of course Ashley was up to her eyeballs in work but the minute she'd see Spencer waiting for her while she was in the studio, she'd make everyone take a break and hang out with her. And just last night, they went to go see a movie despite the fact that Ashley was about to drop dead from exhaustion. Spencer said that it'd be okay with her if Ashley wanted to go home and go to sleep but Ashley insisted on the movie. She fell asleep in the theater with her head on Spencer's shoulder. Neither of the girls remembered what movie they saw.

"Spencer, come on!" Glen yelled coming back into the kitchen.

"Whoa, look at you, Mr. Armani," Spencer teased when she saw his outfit. She couldn't remember a time that Glen wore ironed pants. "Are you wearing cologne?" she asked sniffing him.

"Shut up." He face was bright red as he grabbed his wallet and keys.

"Glen, help your sister with these trays," Arthur told him.

"But what if I get stuff on my clothes?"

Spencer rolled her eyes and grabbed the food. "I got it, you prissy idiot." She carried the trays outside and into Glen's car. "I take it I don't have time to change?" she asked as Glen was getting into the driver's side.

"You had all that time before," he said a little annoyed. "Not my fault you didn't change."

Spencer just shook her head and got into the car. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't think I needed to get ready four hours before hand. What's up, Glen? Why are you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous," he lied and started driving.

"Sure." She smiled as they drove to Ashley's loft. Little butterflies floated in her stomach just at the thought of seeing her again.

---

Ashley was in the middle of pushing furniture aside when someone knocked on her door. She glanced at her watch and a confused look crossed her face. Spencer said she'd be there around 6:30. It was way too early. The knock came again this time a little more persistent. Ashley opened the door to find a bunch of aluminum trays being held by someone with blonde hair.

"I come bearing food," Spencer's strained voice came from behind the trays. They were getting kind of heavy.

"Oh my God, where the hell is Glen?" Ashley asked while taking all the trays from Spencer.

"Gone," Spencer said as she walked into the loft shaking her arms loose.

"He made you carry all these heavy trays?" she asked getting protective. "What an ass." She put the trays down on the table.

"It's not big deal. I'm a tough girl."

Ashley had to laugh at that comment. "Sure you are, Spence," she told her and started to set up the steno fire to keep the food warm.

"I am too!" Spencer protested narrowing her eyes at Ashley.

"Okay, whatever you say." She gave her a little smirk.

"Anyways, sorry I'm so early. Glen had to stop by at work before he picked up Kyla." She explained while setting her purse down on the couch.

"No worries."

That just meant she got to spend more time with Spencer. More time with Spencer made Ashley very happy. Even though she wasn't quite sure where they stood. They have been hanging out a lot but it's been mostly platonic. The almost kiss at the diner was never brought up and there wasn't another opportunity like it. She didn't think that grabbing Spencer, pushing her up against a wall, and kissing her would fly by very smoothly.

"Hey, can I borrow something to wear?" Spencer asked nervously. "Glen didn't give me anytime to get ready and I don't feel like wearing this to the party."

Ashley took in Spencer's simple outfit and smiled. "You look cute in that."

"I look like I just rolled out of bed," she said blushing and looked down.

"I always loved that look on you." She stood in front of her and tucked a strand of hair behind Spencer's ear. "But you can borrow whatever you want."

"Thank you." Ashley still had her hand in Spencer's hair, unconsciously twirling her fingers through blonde strands.

Spencer's breath hitched when she felt Ashley's hand moving down to her neck, a finger tracing down from behind her ear to her pulse point. She closed her eyes at the sensation and felt Ashley move in closer.

"You're shivering," Ashley whispered.

Spencer opened her eyes to find Ashley really close to her. "I am? I must be cold," she said hazily.

"Yeah, let me make you warm," she said and pulled Spencer even closer. "Better?"

Spencer felt like her entire body was on fire. "Much." One more move and they'd be kissing.

"We need ice!" Glen said barging into the loft causing Spencer and Ashley to jump apart.

"What?" Spencer asked annoyed. "What the hell are you still doing here?"

"I was driving and I forgot we didn't have any ice," he explained. "We need ice!"

"Okay, Glen we got it!" Ashley said also annoyed. "You couldn't call us with that little info?"

Glen looked completely bashful. "Oh, right sorry. I have to go!" He ran back out of the loft, the door slamming.

Spencer and Ashley just stood there avoiding each other's gazes. "I guess we should get that ice," Spencer said breaking the awkward silence.

"Yeah, I'll go get it. I need to cool off anyways." Ashley grabbed her keys and left the loft as well.

Spencer took a deep breath once Ashley left. She looked up at the ceiling and held out her hands. "Seriously?" she asked no one. Someone in the cosmic order must hate them. It was the only explanation for all those interruptions.

A few hours later, Spencer and Ashley had everything set up. They were avoiding each other the entire time and only focusing on the tasks at hand. They both got ready in separate rooms and waited as guests started to arrive. Ashley had found an old cast party invite and just invited everyone on the list. Thankfully, they all seemed to be friends with Kyla and now were all in her loft.

"Wow, there are a lot of people, here," Spencer said coming up to her. She had changed into one of Ashley's outfits and Ashley couldn't stop her eyes from wandering.

"Yeah, didn't know Kyla had so many friends." Why did Spencer always look so much hotter in her own clothes? She must have been staring too long because Spencer was calling her name.

"Ash?" She waved a hand in front of her face. "You okay?"

Ashley shook her head and focused her attention to what Spencer was saying. "Yeah, sorry. What was that?"

"Glen just texted me and he said he's fifteen minutes away," she said flipping her phone close.

"Okay, um, I'm going to see how the guests are doing." She left Spencer standing there while she went to mingle. Ashley couldn't be around Spencer without wanting to do something physical that she wasn't too sure that the other people in her loft would appreciate.

Spencer sighed in frustration. She had no idea why Ashley was being avoidy all of the sudden. Did Ashley not want to be with her anymore? Was she going to have to make the first move? Did she even know how to make the first move? Ashley was always the one who took initiative. She watched as Ashley was talking to some guy she remembered from one of the plays they went to. Knowing Ashley, Spencer was positive that she was probably bored out of her mind and was trying to remember the guy's name.

"Maybe I should save her," she mumbled to herself and started walking towards them.

"…And Kyla doesn't want to do musicals but I'd think she'd make a great Maria and I'll be a great Tony," the guy rambled on.

"Well, Kyla can't really sing," Ashley pointed out and gave him a fake smile. She had no idea who the hell Maria and Tony were but was positive that Kyla wouldn't be her.

"Hey, Rick," Spencer said coming up to them.

"Spencer!" He gave her a hug and Ashley had to stop herself from laughing. "I was just telling Ashley here that Kyla would make a great Maria."

"Oh I don't know. Kyla can't really sing," Spencer said.

"That's what I said," Ashley told him.

"Oh, I'm sure she was just being modest." He started rambling on about something else when Spencer got another text message.

"Oh they're here. Everyone hide," she said to the entire loft. Everyone went behind various furniture and Ashley dimmed the lights.

Glen and Kyla came through the door a few moments later and the lights went back on.

"Welcome home!" everyone yelled.

"Oh my God, you guys!" Kyla put both her hands over her mouth in shock. "Did you set all this up?" she asked Ashley.

"Um, it was actually my idea," Glen said before Ashley could answer.

"But Spencer and I set up everything," she butted in. "Welcome home." She held her arms open and Kyla stepped into them. "God, you're like four shades darker than I remember," Ashley said once they pulled apart.

"Yeah I know. I'm expecting skin cancer any time now," she joked. "Spencer!" she exclaimed and pushed pass her sister to give her a hug.

"Welcome home. We've missed you a lot. Especially Glen," she said teasing Glen who was putting all of Kyla's luggage in her room

"Thanks, Spence," he deadpanned.

Kyla went off to see her other friends and the party went on. Spencer occasionally teased Glen who followed Kyla around like a little puppy dog. Ashley kept on disappearing off somewhere in the guise of cleaning things up or pouring people drinks or changing the CDs in the radio. If Spencer didn't know any better, she was sure Ashley was avoiding her.

The party started to thin out when Kyla finally felt the effects of jetlag and was now sitting on the couch lying on Glen.

Ashley waved off the last partygoer and shut the door. "Holy crap, someone's is going to clean this mess up and it's definitely not going to me," she said as she picked up a cup from the floor.

"I can help you," Spencer said and started to pick up some other trash.

"Oh no, Spencer, I was just joking. I can clean up."

"It's not a problem," she insisted. "Plus, I don't think these two are going to help you." She indicated Glen and Kyla who were fast asleep on the couch.

Ashley smiled and made her way over to them. "Hey Kyla," she shook her arm.

"Yeah?" she snuggled closer to Glen.

"You should head on to bed. I'm pretty sure that's more comfortable than Glen."

"I heard that, Davies," Glen said waking up. "Yeah, we should go, Spencer," he told his sister.

"What? Now?" Spencer didn't want to leave until she knew things between her and Ashley were okay.

"Stay," Kyla told Glen, surprising him. "Please?"

"Um," he looked at Ashley, afraid she might kill him for even entertaining the idea of spending the night with her sister.

"Hey, as long as you guys keep it PG, I'm all good," Ashley said and went back to cleaning things up.

"Like you and Spencer ever kept it PG?" Kyla said without thinking.

Both Spencer and Ashley turned a bright shade of red as Glen and Kyla made their way into her room. "Night ladies!" Kyla called to them.

Spencer stood there awkwardly as Ashley continued to clear the mess in her loft. "Um, Ash?"

"Yeah?" she said distractedly.

"Since Glen is staying over, I kind of don't have a ride home," she said quietly and starting to ring her hands out.

Ashley looked up and saw Spencer standing there nervously. "Oh, um, you can stay over too. Unless you want me to take you home?" Ashley wanted to hit herself. Of course she wanted to Spencer to stay over but that would be all kinds of uncomfortable. She couldn't even kiss the girl without something interrupting them. Can they spend the entire night in the same bed? Just the thought of sleeping next to Spencer gave her goose bumps.

"You don't have to drive me home," Spencer said quietly.

Ashley smiled. "Okay, well, um I'll finish up here. You look really tired. Why don't you head on to bed?"

Spencer smiled back. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

Throwing a way a few more cups, Spencer had a huge smile on her face as she made her way to Ashley's room. She couldn't remember the last time she was in here but everything still looked the same. Ashley still had her purple stuffed monkey that she not so discreetly slept with hiding under one of her pillows. Spencer opened Ashley's drawers and pulled out a t-shirt and pair of boxers and started to change.

Ashley's clothes smelled different to her as she put them on but didn't really think anything of it as she got under the covers. It felt good to be back in Ashley's bed. Like she was coming home. She smiled again when she saw the picture of her and Ashley on Ashley's bedside table. Some things just never change.

Ashley came in a few minutes later and was a little hesitant when she saw Spencer all snuggly under her covers.

"Hey," she said shyly.

"Hi," Spencer said just the same way.

"Um, I just going to go change in the bathroom," Ashley mumbled and grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom. She shut the door and took a deep breath. "Get yourself together," she told her reflection. She quickly changed and went back into her room. Spencer looked so small in her massive bed.

She carefully got under the covers on her side of the bed and made sure there was an acceptable amount of distance between her and Spencer. Ashley reached over and turned off the lamp leaving the room in semi-darkness. The moonlight was shining through Ashley's slightly open curtains.

"Why are you so far away?" Spencer whispered to her.

Ashley turned her head and saw Spencer looking at her intently. Even in the dark, Ashley still could see how blue Spencer's eyes were. "Um." She moved slightly closer to Spencer. "That better?"

Spencer didn't say anything but just continued to stare at her. "Ash?" she said after a few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"Hold me." It wasn't a request but more like a quiet command.

Ashley swallowed. "Spence…"

"Please?"

Ashley bit her lip and moved even closer to Spencer. Once she was in touching distance, Spencer turned around so her back was facing Ashley. Ashley lifted her arm and gently wrapped it around Spencer's waist. All her senses heightened tenfold as she felt Spencer relax in her embrace.

Spencer took Ashley's hand and held it across her stomach. She moved further into Ashley so there wasn't a single inch of space between them. Her entire body felt all tingly from Ashley's touch.

"Goodnight, Spencer," Ashley said into her neck and kissed it.

"Goodnight, Ashley." She brought Ashley's hand to her lips and kissed it as well. "I love you."

Ashley was sure that Spencer could feel her heart beat faster when she said those words. "I love you, too."

She pulled Spencer closer to her and closed her eyes. Sleep never came easier.

---


	18. Chapter 18

_Chapter Eighteen_

Ashley wasn't quite sure what woke her up in the middle of the night. Her room was still dark and Spencer was still in her arms but she was fidgeting and kicking her feet while mumbling in her sleep. Ashley propped herself up on her elbow and tried coaxing Spencer back to peaceful sleep.

"Baby, what's the matter?" she asked stroking her hair.

Spencer turned herself so her face was nuzzling against Ashley's neck. "Feet," she said sleepily and furrowed her eyebrows with her eyes still closed.

Ashley looked down and noticed that the covers had rode up and were now exposing Spencer's kicking feet. She moved down and replaced the blankets making sure that Spencer couldn't kick them off again.

"Better?" she asked pulling her closer.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbled and cuddled into Ashley's embrace.

Ashley kissed her forehead and smiled. Spencer had an irrational fear about her feet being exposed while she was sleeping. She thought that if she didn't have them covered, someone would grab them during the middle of the night and pull her under the bed. The fear might have come from a traumatic experience she had as a child when Spencer saw a horror movie and the night she went to bed, Glen thought it'd be funny to hide under her bed. He grabbed her feet and Spencer screamed so loud that the neighbors called the cops. Spencer never slept without her feet being covered ever since then. Ashley also didn't have the heart to tell her that if someone were to grab her again, they wouldn't care if her feet were covered or not.

She went back to sleep for what felt like only five minutes but when Ashley opened her eyes again, the sun was shining brightly in her room and she could hear someone in the kitchen. Ashley looked down to find Spencer was now lying on her chest and had her hand under her shirt on her stomach. Spencer's fingers were dangerously close to the waistband of her boxers. Ashley let the warm feeling of waking up with Spencer in her arms wash over as she kissed the top of her head. She had the sudden urge to call Spencer "Snuggles" because of how cuddly she was and the fact she always smelled like laundry detergent. She laughed at the mental image of replacing the Snuggles bear with a picture of Spencer.

"What are you laughing at?" Spencer asked sleepily. She rubbed her eyes and looked up at Ashley.

Ashley gave her a huge smile. Sleepy Spencer was the cutest thing ever. "Snuggles," she answered.

Spencer furrowed her eyebrows. "Snuggles? As in the laundry detergent bear?"

"Yup."

"You're a strange one, Ashley Davies." Spencer laid her head back down and ran her hand across Ashley's stomach. She grinned when she felt her shiver.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Amazingly well." She nuzzled her face against Ashley's chest. "You were always the best pillow."

"Thanks," Ashley said smiling and pulled Spencer even closer to her. She couldn't get enough of her.

They lay there not saying anything for a few minutes with Ashley running her hand through Spencer's hair. Ashley still had no idea where they stood right now. She made a pact with herself that she was going to let Spencer call all the shots with their relationship. What was last night all about though? Spencer made the first move but what did that mean for them as a couple? Is Spencer giving her, them, another chance?

"What are you thinking about?" Spencer suddenly asked.

"How do you know I'm thinking about anything?" Ashley countered with a teasing voice.

Spencer poked her in the stomach. "Please, I can practically hear the wheels in your head turning." She looked up and stared Ashley in the eyes. "What's up?" she asked seriously.

Ashley bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Um, what are we?"

Spencer looked down and started playing with the hem of Ashley's shirt. "What do you want us to be?"

Was this a trick question? Why was Spencer asking her what she wanted? It should be what Spencer wanted. "Spencer, I want us to be together," Ashley said with conviction while sitting up. Spencer was still looking down which made her a little nervous. "But I don't want to do anything you're not ready for."

At this, Spencer looked up. "It's not about me being ready, Ashley. I just want to make sure that you are."

"Of course I'm ready," she stated defensively. Spencer avoided her gaze again and she backtracked. "I mean, I can be the person you need Spencer. I've grown up and I learned from my mistakes," Ashley said calmly and took Spencer' hand. "I'm not going to hurt you again. I'd rather die then let that happen."

Spencer smiled and brought their conjoined hands to her heart. "Don't die," she said jokingly. "I mean it's going to be really hard to break in a new you."

Ashley let out a little laugh. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Spencer chuckled. "I want us to be together too, Ashley. But let's take it slow, okay? I don't want to mess anything up."

Ashley nodded and started to play with Spencer's fingers. "So are we back together now?" She wanted to be sure.

"I guess," Spencer said dramatically and smiled.

"Good, because I want really want to kiss you but I wanted to make sure that I had permission." She started move closer to Spencer and brought her hand to the back of Spencer's neck.

"Well, you better do it fast because I know someone is going to walk through that door and-" Spencer didn't have the chance to finish because Ashley had pulled her into a much needed kiss.

Ashley could feel Spencer smile against her lips, which in turn made her feel like she was floating on air. When she's with Spencer, Ashley felt like she was on top of the world. Nothing could touch her except for Spencer.

"Hey, Ash, I'm making, whoa!" Kyla started to grin when she saw what was in front of her.

Spencer and Ashley pulled apart and rolled their eyes. "Told you someone was going to walk in," Spencer said smugly.

"Kyla, it's so great to have you home," Ashley said sarcastically. "Now get out."

Kyla was still grinning like a goon. "Okay, well I just wanted to tell you that Glen and I are making pancakes in case you guys wanted some. But it seems like you're a little busy."

Ashley glared at her sister before throwing a pillow at her. "Out!" Kyla's grin never left her face as she backed out of Ashley's room. Ashley shook her head and turned her attention back to Spencer. "Sorry about that, where were we?" She leaned in again but Spencer held her back. "What's the matter?" she asked worried.

"Oh nothing," Spencer said assuring her. "I just want pancakes."

"Ugh, stupid Kyla!" Ashley jumped out of bed and held out her hand to Spencer. "Come on, Snuggles, lets get you some pancakes."

Spencer took the offered hand and jump out of the bed. She put her arms around Ashley neck and pulled her close so their faces were mere centimeters apart. "Please, don't ever call me that. That bear completely freaks me out." She gave her a peck on the lips.

Ashley smiled. "Whatever you want."

---

The whole taking it slow thing was definitely taking its toll on Ashley. She's been seeing Spencer everyday still, but she was getting a bit frustrated when they were alone. Trying to respect her wishes, Ashley didn't want to rush anything. That included sex. She never initiated anything, always waiting for Spencer to make the first move. So far they've only cuddled and had very long (very clothed) make out time. Ashley could always feel Spencer pull away every single time they got a little too overboard.

It didn't really bother Ashley and it wasn't like she was mad at Spencer but she was getting very sexually frustrated. It didn't help that the weather was getting warmer and Spencer was now wearing tank tops and skirts and just clothes that showed off more skin. Ashley felt like she needed a cold shower every single time she was in Spencer's vicinity. She guessed that was the price she had to pay for having a very hot girlfriend.

She was currently at the studio waiting for one of the producers to make a decision. He was notoriously the most indecisive producer the label had and Ashley's patience was wearing thin with every passing minute. She glanced at her watch and started to bounce her leg up and down. She was supposed to meet Spencer for dinner in twenty minutes and if he didn't reach a decision soon, Ashley was going to have to cancel.

"Um, Mr. Corso? Is everything to your liking?" Ashley asked trying to sound calm.

"Hmm," he said as he looked over the songs. Ashley rolled her eyes at Stephanie. She was the artist Ashley's been working with the past few months. Stephanie was given free reigns to write her own songs and co-write with Ashley. They've formed a friendship during their time working together and a mutual annoyance to Mr. Corso. He could never make a decision about anything, which is why Stephanie's album was yet to be produced.

"I like it," he said finally. "This is the last song we'll record and then we'll be done." He handed the music back to Ashley and smiled. "It was really nice working with you ladies." He shook both Ashley and Stephanie's hands and left the studio.

"Oh my God," Stephanie said taking a seat. "Finally. Seriously, I was beginning to think that my album would never be made."

Ashley smiled and started to gather her things. "Not if I had anything to say about it. Don't worry. Your album will be out in no time."

"You doing anything right now? We can record this song and be done with it," Stephanie said getting up and stretching.

"Sorry, Steph, I've got a hot girl waiting for me." Ashley smirked and started to leave the studio. "Tomorrow, definitely."

"Alright, tell Spencer I said hey."

"I will." Ashley made her way to the elevators and pulled out her phone. She pressed two and entered the elevator.

"Hi, you," Spencer greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, I'm running a bit late but I'll be there as soon as I can." Ashley hit the button for the 20th floor with her elbow.

"Um, yeah about that," Spencer started and Ashley began to frown. "I was working on this project for class and totally lost track of time. My entire group is here and we kind of don't want to break our stride," she told her apologetically.

"It's okay," Ashley said but the disappointment in her voice was clearly evident. "You do what you have to do."

"Are you sure? Cause I can leave if you want me to."

"No, don't." The doors opened and she started to make her way to her office. "Can I meet you afterwards?" She furrowed her eyebrows when she noticed that the lights in her office were off. She pushed her door open and gasped when she saw Spencer sitting in the middle of her office. A picnic blanket was set up with food and two candles.

"How about now?" Spencer said hanging up.

"That was mean of you," Ashley jokingly accused. She dumped the things she was holding on the couch and pulled Spencer in for a hug.

"Well, you've been so sweet the past few weeks that I wanted to do something for you. I mean, I know I can't really top the dinner in San Francisco but I thought this was romantic." Ashley had flown both of them to San Francisco last week and they had dinner at the headlands over looking the Golden Gate Bridge.

"I love it," she said leaning in for a kiss.

"I'm glad." Spencer sat down on the picnic blanket and pulled Ashley along with her. Ashley situated herself so she could have Spencer between her legs and held her from behind. "I was going to get real candles," Spencer explained when she saw Ashley looking at her faux candles. "But I figured that was a fire hazard so I settled for these instead." They were lights that were shaped like candles but instead of a flame, it was a bulb.

"You're so cute." She kissed the side of her head. "What you bring to eat?" she asked eagerly while her stomach grumbled.

"I cooked my dad's famous chicken alfredo." Spencer opened the lid to a tuppeware and showed Ashley.

"Mmm, yummy. What's for dessert?"

"Brownies, what else?"

Ashley smiled and kissed her again. "You're too perfect."

They ate happily and occasionally spoon-fed each other. Once everything was consumed, Spencer and Ashley migrated over to the couch. Spencer was half lying on the couch and half lying on Ashley. Her head was on her chest and Ashley was playing with her hair. She felt so content especially when since she could hear Ashley's heart beating.

"Your heart's beating really fast," she told her and started tracing patterns on Ashley's stomach where her shirt had ridden up.

"That's your fault. You always make my heart go pitter patter faster." She twirled a strand of hair between her fingers.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said and smiled against her chest. Her fingers were moving further down and then she started tracing the button of Ashley's jeans. Spencer felt Ashley's breath hitch and she looked up to find dark brown eyes looking down at her. "It's after hours right?"

Ashley looked at her confused. "Yeah."

"So, everyone's gone home? No one's here?"

"There are a few people, but they're probably in the studios or in their offices." She raised her eyebrow. "Why?"

Instead of answering, Spencer turned her gaze to the door. "Do you have a lock on your door?"

"Yes." Ashley was still confused. What exactly Spencer talking about?

Spencer stared Ashley right in the eyes. "Lock it." It was a strong command and Ashley's senses heightened. Demanding Spencer was a very hot Spencer. She wordlessly got up and locked the door. When she turned back around, Spencer was leaning against her elbows and was giving Ashley what Ashley liked to call her "fuck me" eyes. She swallowed but stayed completely still.

"Come here," Spencer commanded again in a whisper.

Ashley slowly made her way back to the couch and waited for Spencer's next move. Spencer bit her lip and reached out to Ashley, pulling her by her shirt. Ashley climbed on top of Spencer and put a knee on each side of her. Her entire body was on fire from the way Spencer was looking at her. Her eyes were so dark that it looked almost black.

"You're so beautiful," Ashley whispered when she was hovering over her.

Spencer smiled and pulled her down for a kiss. Her hands went to Ashley's hips and moved under her shirt in an attempt to remove it. Ashley pulled away from Spencer's kiss and looked down at her. "Spence, I know you don't want to rush things but-"

"Ash, if we were going any slower, we'd be going backwards. Now why don't you use your mouth for something other than talking."

Ashley grinned. "Whatever you want."

---


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey all! This is the final chapter. Enjoy! :D**

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_Chapter Nineteen - Final_

Ashley was seriously considering throwing her phone out the window if it didn't stop ringing. She had no idea why everyone seemed to be calling her every single time they had a problem. She wasn't the boss. She wasn't even a producer. She was just a songwriter who everyone went to for some reason. Ashley contemplated on turning off her cell phone and have all the calls forwarded to her office phone but she didn't want to risk missing a call from Spencer. This was definitely the last time she gave her cell number as a contact instead of her actual work number.

She sighed and sat down at her desk. There was a never ending stack of papers in front of her that needed to be signed or looked over or something that required Ashley's attention. All Ashley wanted to do was sweep it right into the garbage can.

"Hey, Ash?" Joan poked her head into Ashley's office.

Ashley looked up from the current paper she was reading. "Yeah?"

"Mr. Elwood wants you to know that the meeting has been pushed back to 3 and Corso is on line 2."

Ashley rubbed her eyes in frustration. "Thanks." She picked up her phone and hit the blinking button. "Ashley Davies…Yes, the songs are ready for recording…you want me in on the session?…okay I'll be right there." Ashley hung up and put her head in her arms. She had no idea why she had to be at the session. Stephanie wrote most of the song. She just provided a few tidbits.

Ashley reluctantly got up and started making her way down to the studio. "Why today of all days?" she asked herself as she made her to the elevator. She had promised Spencer a dinner and movie to celebrate their 3-year anniversary. Technically it wasn't until next week but Ashley had to fly out of town for a meeting in New York with some of music's biggest producers. It sucked that she had to work on their anniversary, which is why she suggested to Spencer that they'd celebrate it tonight. With the way things were currently going around the label, Ashley would be lucky if she got out of there in time for Christmas. She was pretty confident that she'd make it to dinner on time but would probably be dead tired. Ashley didn't want to be tired when she met up with Spencer. Spencer deserved all her attention especially on their anniversary.

Her cell phone rang again when she was waiting for the elevator to arrive to the designated floor. "Ashley Davies," she said exasperated when she picked it up.

"That was very formal," Spencer teased.

A huge smile appeared on Ashley's face. "You're a sound for sore ears."

Spencer chuckled. "What? A sound for sore ears?"

Ashley shrugged even though Spencer couldn't see her. She stepped outside of the elevator and started walking towards the studio. "Well, I can't see you. So a sight for sore eyes wouldn't make sense now, would it?"

"Whatever queen of semantics. Whatcha doing?" Spencer had just got gotten out of class and was now lounging around campus.

"Hmm, well it appears that I'm talking to this insanely hot girl on the phone." Ashley pushed the door open to the studio and took a seat. She completely ignored anyone in the room and continued to talk to Spencer.

"You got someone else on the other line?" Spencer teased.

"Nope, just you. What are you doing?"

"Waiting for ass eyes to pick me up, but he's probably still at the theater watching Kyla rehearse."

Ashley fought off a gag reflex and then waved off someone who was trying to get her attention. "Those two are crazy. Will it kill them to spend a few hours apart?"

Spencer grinned. "I don't know, does it kill you?"

"Touché." Ashley looked up to see Stephanie pointing at her watch. "Shit, I have to go. It's crazy over here. I'll see you later tonight. Love you, baby."

"Love you, too." Spencer hung up with a huge smile on her face. Things have definitely changed and for the better. A few months ago, Ashley would've never answered her phone if she was that busy at the studio or would yell at Spencer for bothering her at work. Now Ashley would answer after only one ring and sometimes Spencer could hear people trying to get Ashley's attention but Ashley blatantly ignored them.

Ashley also would call Spencer every single time she was running late even if it was only a few minutes and would apologized profusely if she was late. Ashley was completely and utterly whipped and Spencer wouldn't want it any other way.

Spencer was excited for the anniversary tonight even though it wasn't going to be anything special. She didn't want a huge production like Ashley had wanted but just rather a simple dinner and a movie at Ashley's loft. She had yet to instill in Ashley's mind that over the top gestures weren't necessary. Even if they were nice, Spencer would take a simple "I love you" phone call from Ashley over a million roses being delivered on her doorstep any day. But Ashley wasn't used to simple so she made sure everything for tonight had no problems.

Ashley even kicked out Kyla for the night. She actually just stole keys. Spencer laughed at the memory of Ashley rummaging through Kyla's purse when she wasn't looking.

"Spencer!" Glen called from his car when pulled up and honked the horn.

Spencer shook her head at Glen's impatience. "I'm right here, Glen, no need to honk the horn." She opened the passenger door and dumped her bag in the back. "What's the rush anyways? I thought you have today off."

Glen pulled out of the parking lot and started speeding down the street. "I do. I promised Kyla I'd be back as soon as possible. I'm taking her out to eat and I need to drop you off first."

Spencer shook her head again. "You're so whipped."

Glen scoffed. "I'm whipped? Have you met your girlfriend?"

"Yeah," she said dreamily and stared out the window. "But at least she has class."

"I have class!" he stated defensively.

Spencer gave him a look and pulled at the sleeve of his shirt. "So, wearing your old ass, smelly, stain ridden, Go Speed Racer shirt is classy?"

Glen looked down at his attire. "I was going to change," he said not too convincingly.

"Uh huh, sure. I can't believe you left the house looking like this."

"Well, Kyla likes me to be myself. She didn't like me all dressed up that one time so I'm going all natural Glen."

Spencer just smiled and continued to stare out the window.

---

Spencer was in the middle of blow drying her hair when her cell phone rang. "Ocean Blue" by Brianna Tenly filled the room before she flipped it open. "Hi, baby," she greeted.

"Hey, you," Ashley's cheerful yet very tired voice came through. "I just got out so I'm on my way to pick you up. You have any special requests for tonight?"

Spencer ran her hairbrush through her hair and bit her lip in thought. "Hmm, what kind of requests are we talking about?" she asked suggestively.

"Dirty mind. I'm talking about the food and movies."

"Your pick."

"Really?" Ashley said disbelievingly. Spencer never let her pick.

"Well, it's your anniversary too and I know you're getting sick of the classics so you can rent whatever cheesy clichéd movie you like," she said with a smile. Ashley had horrible taste in movies.

"Can I rent a horror movie so when you get scared, you'll jump in my arms?"

"I don't need a scary movie to do that," Spencer said smiling.

"Alright, I'm renting _The Ring_ then. I'll see you soon. Love you."

"Love you, too." She hung up and finished getting ready. _The Ring_ would definitely keep her up all night but that wouldn't be a problem considering Spencer wasn't planning on sleeping anyways. And she was quite positive neither was Ashley.

The doorbell rang twenty minutes later and Spencer bounded down the stairs. Her parents were away on vacation so Glen would get the house all to himself tonight. Which actually worked out for Spencer and Ashley since Kyla would probably spend the night there because she wouldn't be able to get into the loft. Spencer opened the door and was greeted by a huge bouquet of peach-colored roses.

"Ash," she admonished taking the bouquet so she could see Ashley's cute face.

"What? It's our anniversary. I had to get you flowers," she stepped inside and pulled Spencer in for a kiss.

"Fine," Spencer said in faux annoyance. "I guess I have to give you this then." Spencer gave Ashley a wrapped gift that Ashley didn't realize she was holding.

"What's this?" she asked taking the present.

"Open it and find out."

Ashley ripped open the wrapping paper and took out a leather bound notebook. The words "Ashley's Songs" were written across the front in gold.

"It's a new composition book," Spencer explained while Ashley opened it. "I figured you need a new one."

Ashley opened to the first page where Spencer had written a note.

_I'm so proud of you. Happy Anniversary._

_Love,  
Spencer_.

A single tear fell on the page and Ashley pulled Spencer into the tightest hug. "Thank you, I love it. I love you."

Spencer smiled and hugged her tighter. "You're very welcome and I love you, too. Now, you better fill that up with songs about me."

"Well duh," Ashley said pulling apart. "Let's go. The Chinese food is going to get cold and it's kind of stinking up my car."

They drove to Ashley's loft talking about their days. Ashley was bitching about how incompetent everyone was at the label and Spencer was nodding along to placate her. When they got to the loft, Spencer gasped when she saw that the entire place was lit up in candles and the floor was littered with rose petals.

"This is _such_ a fire hazard, Ash," Spencer pointed out.

Ashley laughed and started setting up the food on the coffee table in the living room. "Well it's not like they were lit up the entire time. I called Joe and told him to light them at a certain time."

Spencer smiled and sat down next to Ashley on the floor. "You're a smooth one, Ashley Davies."

"Yes, I am." She scooped up some lomein in her chopsticks and held it out to Spencer. Spencer opened her mouth and let Ashley feed her.

They ate dinner and watched the movie with Spencer jumping behind Ashley during all the scary parts. During some part of the movie, both of them got very bored and thought that making out was so much better than watching a freaky ass girl crawl out of a well.

Ashley had Spencer pinned against the couch and was straddling her as she gave her kiss after kiss. Eventually the background noise of the movie kind of killed the mood and Ashley momentarily detached herself from Spencer's lips to turn of the television.

"That's better," she said and smiled down at her girlfriend. "You're so pretty," she commented and started running her fingers through Spencer's hair.

"So are you," Spencer responded and traced her finger down Ashley's jaw line.

Ashley smiled even wider. "Um, I wrote you another song," she said shyly.

"Really?" Spencer asked sitting up.

"Yeah, want to hear it?"

"Of course."

Ashley stood up and walked to the piano that was in the corner of the living room. She sat down on the bench and beckoned Spencer to sit next to her.

"It's a little rough and I'm going to tweak it a little, but I hope you like it."

Spencer smiled and kissed Ashley's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to love it."

Ashley put her hands across the keys and started playing. A slow melodic tune filled the room and Spencer closed her eyes and leaned her head against Ashley's shoulder. When Ashley started singing, Spencer's heart swelled.

"It's a rainy day / and I do love the way / it falls from so high in the sky / reminds me so true / of how I fell for you / thunder imitates your stance / lightening gives us half a chance / but on even on a rainy day / nothing represents us better / not even the weather / than the climate of your way.

Bring the greatest ever storm / drop the temperature below the norm / no possible earthly catastrophe / could take you away from me / it's a sunny day / and I do adore the way / it shines from so high in the sky / reminds me so true / of how I shine around you / clouds imitate your stance / winds give us a half a chance / but even on a sunny day / nothing represents us better / not even the weather / than the climate of your way."

Ashley played out the last chords and looked down at Spencer. She kissed the top of her head and leaned her cheek against it. "Did you like it?" she whispered against her hair.

"I loved it," Spencer whispered back. She looked up and stared into Ashley's eyes. "So is this going to be a tradition? You writing me a song for every anniversary?"

Ashley smiled and put her arm around Spencer, pulling her close. "Hell yeah, by the time we're married, I'm going to have an entire album done."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "Married? You think about that?"

"Yeah," she answered without hesitation. "When I think about the future, all I see is you and me." Ashley gave her girlfriend's smiling face a kiss. "But you know, it's not like we're going to get married now. You still have school and we're way too young and-"

"I got it, Ash," Spencer said putting a finger on her lips. "You're so cute when you panic."

"Well, enough talk about the future. Can we go to the bedroom now and have wild anniversary sex?" She got up and practically dragged a laughing Spencer towards her room.

"You're too much sometimes, Davies."

Ashley pushed her down on the bed and crawled on top of her. "And you love me, Carlin."

Spencer lifted Ashley's shirt over her head and threw it across the room. She bit her lip and admired her girlfriend's body.

"That I do."

Ashley leaned down and kissed her. "I love you, too."

--_End--  
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**So I'm not creative enough to actually write a real song so I stole someone else's. The song that Ashley "wrote" is "Of Your Way" by the very talented Jessica Harp.**

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. I really appreciated it. :D  
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